Thornfield
by golden eyes hypnotize
Summary: What follows is a strange amalgam two parts Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre," one part Bram Stokers's "Dracula," one part post-Feudal Fairytale. Orphan Kagome has accepted a position as governess at the estate of Thornfield. Her master is strange but she is drawn to him as she has never felt in her life. A dark secret lies in Thornfield's walls waiting to tear them apart. Sess/Kag
1. Thornfield

A/N: What follows is a strange amalgam two parts Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre," one part Bram Stokers's "Dracula," one part post-Feudal Fairytale. I do not own any of the aforementioned works, that is the estate of the credited authors, nor do I own "Inuyasha" or its characters, rather that is Rumiko Takahashi, a great and wondrous personage—though I take full responsibility for messing with them and plopping them into other plotlines for my own amusement. Let's pray it's at least diverting, but above all, dear reader, please do not expect faithfulness to any of the above story lines. Consider my work, instead, like a picture in a coloring book where I might choose my own palette for the pre-drawn picture, following what others have done or choosing my own path while drawing in my own figures as well.

Please do take the opportunity to tell me what you think because I will admit this is a strange, illicit lark I'm indulging with this story and I'm not confident in how it will turn out.

On with the show…

…..

Chapter 1

"If K.H, who advertised in the Darbyshire _Bulletin_, is in a position as to provide references to character, qualifications, and temperament, a situation may be offered her.

The charge is a young boy, 10 years of age, in the estate of Thornfield. Compensation is 30 pounds per annum.

Please forward references to Mrs. Alice Fairfax, Thornfield, near Millcote, Darbyshire."

I put the letter down on the desk after reading it. My advertisement seeking employ as a governess had yielded but one reply and so it seemed a bright path was laid before me that would take me from my confinement of the last 18 years at Lowood Institution.

Left on the doorstep of the Christian charity school as an infant, I was raised there in its harsh, doctrinal austerity. Life here had not been easy, especially with my naturally passionate temperament, and with the recent departure of the school's superintendant, Miss Maria Temple, who had raised me from infancy and been my sole comfort and anchor, on occasion of her marriage, I examined myself and found a yearning for discovery of the world outside this narrow-minded school. I had not spent the years idly, but had taken full advantage of my education, voraciously reading and applying myself to the head of the class. I spent the last two years employed as a teacher, trying to embody the goodness and peaceful countenance of my mentor, Miss Temple, and provide the other children with some of the solace I had been afforded from its rigid rules and disciplines.

I made short work of informing my superiors on the school board of my prospect and asking for their aid with references. In the typical way of bureaucracy, it took most of the day to accomplish the approval and within a month, I was provided with those same references with which I forwarded my reply to Mrs. Fairfax. Two weeks hence did I receive her formal offer, with directions to start as soon as I could make the journey.

It was with no small amount of confliction that I packed my valise of my meager belongings consisting of a very few articles of clothing, even fewer personal effects, and a copy of the Bible. Lowood was the only place I had ever known, and as a woman with no connections in the world and no beauty, with all I owned being earned from toil here, I had little to my name and therefore few prospects other than what my education had blessedly afforded me. I should be thankful to the school and continue giving back to it, but my heart yearned for something more from life, though I was not sure then just what that was.

I slept not at all that night, and rose already dressed with the dawn before finding the carriage in town that would take me to my new life. I had consulted my map, and knew it would be a long travel, with full days devoted to reaching my destination. Three days hence, late in the evening, I was delivered to the Inn at Millcote, from there caught the house carriage of Thornfield to its estate, which had been waiting for me.

As we approached the house by the long, gravel drive, I noticed it was a very large, stone estate, happily situated amongst rolling hills and fields, which, though covered in recent snow, held promise, a good two miles from the excitement of town. The front doors, which were constructed of ancient wood, parted as we rolled up and a sweet-countenanced older woman emerged from inside. She wore a black silk dress with bonnet and apron of white and, while not portly, was matronly, and of middle age. Color bloomed on her cheeks and a smile lit her eyes as I was helped down from the carriage by the driver.

"Oh, you must be Miss Higurashi! Welcome, welcome! I am Mrs. Fairfax and we are so glad you are come to Thornfield. Do follow me and I will see you warmed by the fire and fed after your tiring journey." I was obliged to follow her and chanced to hope that she was indeed as warm and kind as she seemed. Perhaps there was a possibility for a whole different existence than I had known for the entirety of my life, but I did not wish to get ahead of myself.

The hour was late, indeed, by the time I arrived, but immediately I was brought inside and into the hall, whence there, up the grand staircase that seemed cold and from another time and most certainly did not fit the reception. She showed me to her apartment, and even brought her own chair to the fire for me to sit in as she gave the key to the larder to the maid and instructed sandwiches and tea to be brought up immediately. She took another moment to arrange for my luggage to be brought to my room and hitherto joined me as I extended hands and feet to the fire.

The maid appeared directly with a tray, which Mrs. Fairfax herself placed in front of me. I, uncomfortable with so much attention as I had never known it, bowed my head and thanked her for her efforts. To think that the lady of the house would stoop so to comfort her paid employee. I eagerly consumed my cold repast, and almost immediately realized that, hunger abated, weariness took hold.

Mrs. Fairfax ventured, "What a strange, foreign sounding name you have. You say you grew up here in England?"

"Yes, indeed. I passed nearly the whole of my life at Lowood. I look forward to meeting my charge in the morning."

"Oh, yes. Inuyasha is a dear boy, as I'm sure you will find. His nurse, Myoga, an older gentleman, stays with him, but it is past time for him to start his lessons: we were happy to see your advertisement in the paper. Such perfect timing, if I do say so! He is the ward of the master's though I must say our master is little at home."

"Then he is not your child?" I asked.

"Heavens, no! I am housekeeper to Lord Rochester here at Thornfield." This was a surprise to me. I had been certain, in my naiveté, that only a member of the family would have the authority to hire for the position.

"And what sort of man is Lord Rochester?"

"What sort of man? He is proud, very proud, all the Rochesters were proud, and a better master I've never known."

"And of his character?" I pressed. I was greatly curious about my new employer. I longed to know just what sort of person I would be serving.

"Well, he is mostly a quiet man, he served in the war and was awarded for his bravery and skill, he…he is honorable, in his own way, takes his responsibilities seriously, and is generous with all who serve him. He has a peculiar way of speaking sometimes, perhaps retaining the whimsy he had as a boy: when he speaks to you, it is hard to know if he is in earnest." She cleared her throat. "Now, my dear, I have afforded you the apartment next to mine. This part of the house is not as grand, but I find it cozier and hope you will as well. I can see you ready to nod off in your chair, so let me take you now." She took my arm and escorted me down the hall to my chamber, in which a fire had been laid earlier to chase the chill from the room and which was now embers.

She bid me good night, leaving me the candle, and returned to her room. I closed the door and prepared myself for bed, blowing out the candle and slipping between fine sheets and under more blankets than I had ever known before reclining in a luxuriously plush mattress. Exhausted from my journey, I was asleep as soon as my head found the soft, feather pillows.

…..

When I awoke, it was full light. I had passed the night in dreamless repose the restfulness of which I had never before known. I refreshed myself at the washstand and dressed for the day. Though fully aware that I was a plain subject, I always made care with my appearance. My simple, black dress, though free of adornments, was clean, neat, and excellently fitted. My long, wavy, black hair was severely smoothed into a plait and thence into a coil at my nape. I checked myself in the mirror and saw my usual pale, if clear, countenance and vividly blue eyes, which the Headmaster had often singled out as evidence of the inherent wickedness of my soul, from which I was told I must guard myself. I always thought this suspect as his wife and daughters possessed blue eyes as well. My features were unremarkable, neither fashionable nor ugly, and my height and figure were slight.

Assuring I had no hair out of place, I wrapped myself in my cream-colored shawl and quit the room.

Mrs. Fairfax stopped me as I passed her room and invited me to break my fast with her. She rang for more toast and tea and I sat amiably with her as she chatted about the weather, which was said to stay cold for the next while, but dry. The homemade preserves, something I had never had in my life, were incredible to my palette, and I admit to taking another slice of buttered toast after my hunger was relieved simply to sample more of the sweet fruit concoction.

After we finished, she escorted me to the library, where I found the majority of books were under lock and key but a bookcase had been reserved with volumes appropriate for educating my charge and a large desk was outfitted with paper, quills and ink. On the sill of the large, sectioned window adjacent to this desk overlooking the vast, winter-kissed grounds was a globe and on the wall beside that, a slate and chalk.

I waited eagerly for the boy to arrive; before long, he did. He was a child of unearthly loveliness, masses of wavy silver hair fell down his back and he looked up at me with golden eyes. His skin was pale and he was well nourished, though short for his age. He greeted me with a bow, and looked as if unsure whether to smile, as a child unused to receiving in return the natural affections he felt. I smiled to him, watching as he eased, and introduced myself. I told him that if he was a good boy and applied himself, we would become good friends and at that idea his expression cheered and he bestowed me with a brilliant smile. I was struck by its beauty but also with the odd impression that he had strangely large incisors. Dismissing the thought, I turned to the long task of assessing his knowledge base and skill set.

Inuyasha proved a very energetic pupil and I saw that he was unaccustomed to mental discipline. I decided he would benefit most from morning-only classes at the present and after I had tested him, announced a break before luncheon, at which time he ran from the room for the out of doors as if chased by the very devil.

…..

And so the months passed: November into December into January with a rhythm and pleasantness. The mornings were filled with lessons with afternoons spent at my leisure, whereupon I perused the library of my master, expanding on my knowledge of the world around me and broadening my knowledge of fantasy and folk tales to entertain Inuyasha. When the weather was inclement, he often chose to join me in these pursuits, playing with toys on the rug by the fire or sitting quietly in my lap as I read to him, and his need for the companionship of another charmed me, as it was a lack I had always felt keenly. I have always believed that we, none of us, can survive well or long without human contact, despite the dictates of the where I grew up.

We had a pleasant Christmas, with a small celebration in Mrs. Fairfax's room, and I enjoyed fare the likes of which I had only read about as well as something I had, indeed, never received: a Christmas present. I had embroidered a handkerchief for sweet Mrs. Fairfax and sewn a toy dog for my young charge (which I am pleased to say, delighted him no end) but never expected anything in return. And yet, as I extended my gifts, so were gifts extended to me. I was honored and deeply moved. Until this day, I had been party to but one present, and that for going away, from my dear Miss Temple: a simple, pearl brooch, my only such adornment, which I saved for the best of occasions.

As I unwrapped the muslin covering Mrs. Fairfax's offering, I saw that it was a fruit tart. There was very little occasion to eat fruit at the school, it being expensive even when in season, and I admit to taking every opportunity of the generosity of my current situation to try it when it was offered. The tart was beautifully arranged with preserved strawberries, raspberries, and peaches and looked scrumptious. I immediately offered to share but it was insisted that it was solely for my own enjoyment. Inuyasha's gift was that of a sketch of a fairy, following the conventions of a story I had recently read him, wherein was described the small creatures with gossamer wings and passionate, mischievous souls who came from Avalon and could disguise themselves as humans. In his lessons, it was shown that he had quite a gift with charcoal and, remarkably, this fairy had my own appearance, though her hair flew wild and free in bounteous waves and her eyes sparkled with joy. Someone, likely Mrs. Fairfax, had helped him preserve it in a small frame. I was truly touched.

"It's you! Don't you think I've captured you? If only you'd let down your hair sometimes, you would look just like that!"

"And what of my wings?" I queried.

"You haven't grown them yet. Everyone knows a fairy child does not grow her wings until she mates!"

I laughed. "Of course. What was I thinking? Well, then, we must wait," I humored him. What I had learned from my time at Lowood was that no one but those with the largest of hearts could care for those like us that populated the school. Poor, plain girls with no connections were left to rot in the dark places of the earth and those of splendid beauty and money of good families were treated with kindness, love, and respect. It was the way of the world and I had learned my lesson well. Besides, I was very content here with the free affections of a child and the companionship of the housekeeper. When the child grew and attained his rightful place among those of his kind, he would forget his governess and she would be dismissed to find another situation. Mrs. Fairfax was dear but lacked a formal education and could not talk with myself on the myriad subjects that interested me. We were companions, perhaps over the years we may develop a friendship, but when I was finally sent from Thornfield, I would be forgotten. With little hope for friendships, I had even less hope for marriage.

….


	2. A Fateful Meeting

Chapter 2

It was now late January and we experienced a break in the harsh cold for a few days. I sent Inuyasha out with his nurse to run and play on the grounds and get some of that energy of his worked out while I myself took the advantage to go for a long walk. I had written a letter for my friend, Miss Temple, and walked into town to post it. I was on my way back, when, at the top of a hill overlooking the estate, I chose to perch myself on the wall beside the road to enjoy the prospect and feel the cool sun on my face.

It was as I sat there, with my knees to my chest and arms around them, that I heard the haunting bark of a dog. The wind picked up and began to howl and I wondered if I was hearing things, but, no, there it came again. Just this week, I had told my charge the tale of the _gytrash_, a North-of England spirit which bedeviled lonely roads and showed itself in the form of a large horse or dog. A chill reached the base of my spine and I thought to hurry back to Thornfield, but my silly need for adventure held me. I wanted to see this creature.

I had always possessed a fanciful mind, much to the frustration of my teachers and therefore of my palms, and in my later years as a teacher, which afforded slightly more freedom, had ventured into town and learned all the great folk songs and stories which told of the mysteries of the world and great love found and lost. I could not, by virtue of my very nature, leave before I had discovered if this creature was of my world or of a supernatural one.

Around a bend he came, a great, white Newfoundland dog, scouting out the path for a pale rider on a chestnut stallion. Perhaps the horse? But then what kind of spirit would allow itself to be saddled and rode. Truly an indignity. No. So presently I found my curiosity on the rider, who appeared to shine in the dull winter sun like a faceted diamond. As he approached, I thought no more of gytrashes but of angels, for truly there was no creature more beautiful to behold, though he was thoroughly male. His silver hair fell sleekly over broad shoulders and behind him, past the line of his saddle and was cut in bangs that framed his eyes in the front. His skin glowed with the kiss of moonlight, so pale was it, and his features I dare describe here though I know well I can do no justice to them. His eyes, perfect almonds and true gold like those of my charge, did not wander to me as I gawked at him, but instead focused on the path ahead. He possessed a noble brow, which was furrowed at present, high cheekbones, aquiline nose and soft lips that were pressed together in a stoic countenance; his jaw was strong and hinted at stubbornness. He held himself with the bearing of man born to rule.

His dog barked, perhaps warning of my presence, perhaps of the ice on the road from where a brooklet had overrun its banks, but its master paid no heed, his mind was full of his own thoughts. The horse slipped and tumbled, landing on its master, and the dog barked for help. He appealed to me, as there was no one else there, and pled his case. Of course I came immediately, calling down to the struggling angel, whose leg was held fast by the horse's heavy body. "May I be of service, sir?"

"You may be of service by standing away," a rich baritone growled. He was able to free himself and felt over his right ankle. Wincing, he found what he sought and righted himself to find ease on the very wall on which I had been sitting. The horse managed to regain his feet and stood in the lane.

"Would you be so kind as to bring me my horse?"

Dutifully, I approached the beast, and, though I was terrified of his stomping front hooves, tried valiantly to reach his reigns, though with my short stature and his height this took much effort. After several failures, a chuckle came from behind me and he said, "Clearly, if the mountain will not come to the prophet, the prophet must come to the mountain. Come." I walked to him and he took his first look at me, deeming me beneath his notice prior to this. He took on a look almost of surprise as he openly perused me. He took a deep breath of air through his nose. Thankfully, he met my eyes promptly, whereby his look became more pronounced, but he said, "From whence do you come?"

"From that estate just there." I pointed down the hill.

"That house with the battlements?" he somehow seemed surprised yet again.

"The same."

"And what do you there?"

"I am governess to the child therein."

"Ah yes, the governess," he said as if talking to himself. "And what think you of your master?"

"I should hardly know, sir. Lord Rochester has been away these three months I have been in residence."

"You have heard nothing on which to form an opinion?"

"Second-hand accounts, sir, are not to be trusted when sketching a man's character, but he is thought well of by everyone."

"Just so. Well then, pardon me, but necessity deems me make use of you. May I have your shoulder?" At my nod he placed his hand on my shoulder and stood.

At that meager contact, I was struck by the strangest sensation: a strange combination of coming home and a deep thrill that vibrated to my soul. To this day, I cannot explain it, and will not try to here, but know that I was shaken by it and desperately confused as to its origins. In a daze, I felt myself walk with the gentleman to his steed, whereupon he mounted with such grace of movement it arrested me, though I saw the action cost him a grimace of pain on his fine features.

"Hurry home, then, as the sun is almost set and it grows cold without its meager warmth." And with that he was off down the road, great dog in faithful pursuit.

….

Some short time later, I arrived through the kitchen entrance and noticed it was a bustle of activity. Surely the guest must be an important one to garner such attention from the staff. I followed the back stair to my room whereupon I freshened myself for dinner, and made my way down the hall to Mrs. Fairfax's room, but she was not in residence. As I made to turn away, she came hurrying up to me, all nervous energy. "My dear, I am so glad you are come. The master is home!"

"Lord Rochester?"

"The very same. He is taking his supper now in the dining room, but he has asked for you to accompany Inuyasha down to the parlor once he is finished. Come! You must eat quickly then change into something more suitable. He must not be kept waiting!"

We hurried down the back stair and gobbled some stew quickly in the kitchen then I returned to my room and dressed in my simple, black satin dress, taking care to smooth my unruly hair, before grabbing my shawl and heading down the main stair to the parlor. Inuyasha was already there and managed to look subdued and excited at once; I took his hand and knocked on the door. When called to enter, we did and made our way to the center of the room.

There, reclining on a couch that had been moved closer to the fire, with one leg propped on the cushions, sat the very angel I had encountered in the lane. How odd, his game of not revealing his identity as my master. He was sipping a glass of some amber liquid and staring into the fire, quite ignoring us as we stood there. He knew we had entered, he himself had bid us so, and yet he offered no welcome.

At length, he spoke, still with his focus on the fire, "I am told you come from Lowood school."

"Yes, sir."

"You must be tenacious of life to have survived there. Was there not quite a scandal resulting from an outbreak of typhus some years back?"

"Indeed, sir. We were fed barely enough to survive and clothed so poorly as to be unable to keep warm. After the outbreak killed more than half of the 80 girls in attendance, public outcry forced inquiry and a school board to be convened. Though things became tolerable thereafter, there was as yet little warmth in the school."

"You have an otherworldly look about you and your eyes are the eyes of one who has suffered. I know well the look."

I had no answer.

"Tell me, do you speak other languages?"

"I am fluent in French and Latin, am learning German, though I have had no teacher with which to practice and know a bit of Italian."

"You enjoy language, then?"

"Very much, sir."

"Have you ever considered an Eastern one? Perhaps Japanese?"

"I will admit to a wanderlust of spirit that has often dreamt of seeing far shores, but I would not even know where to access such obscure subject literature as to teach me languages such as that."

"My family is of Japanese origin. There are such texts available in my own library. I would be pleased to offer them to you for your edification."

"Truly? Thank you, sir. Thank you very much, indeed." I was honored to have the chance to learn something so exotic.

"Do you play?"

"A little."

He chuckled, a lovely, if rusty sound. I ascertained he did not make it often. "A standard English schoolgirl answer. In the corner you will find a pianoforte. Play me something."

A rose and found the instrument. I started playing, and, as was my habit, sang along with it. I was only a few lines into the song when he barked, "Stop! Please, stop! You do play a little. A very little, and I find it clashes horribly with your true instrument. Continue, now, but only with your voice."

That he seemed to like my voice made me nervous, but I did as I was told. I had heard such conflicting reviews of it at school: our headmaster said I had the voice of a Siren, full of temptation and wickedness, while Miss Temple would take me aside and tell me instead it was the voice of an angel and she cherished hearing it. Modestly, I tend to disagree with both. I do enjoy the sound of my own voice, and have always found it easier to make music with it than with the keyboard, but I have no aspirations to greatness, merely to entertain myself.

He let me finish the song this time, and he remained quiet. Inuyasha was clapping for me, telling me how he wished to sing as well as me one day. I returned to where I had been standing and smiled down at my pupil, placing my hand on his head. "I shall teach you music, if you like, and if Lord Rochester approves."

Finally, my master seemed to find his voice, though it was a strange, thick sound. "Where did you learn to sing like that?"

"It is just as I have always done. We received no vocal training at Lowood, though those of us that excelled in our studies were afforded the privilege of learning on the pianoforte. As you have heard, while I assure I did apply myself, I lack talent there."

"No master taught you?"

"I tell you, no one taught me." I was confused at his questions and oddly pricked with annoyance.

"That wounds your pride, I see. Then there are other songs you know with equal skill?"

"Most of my songs are common folk songs I learned in the inn near the school. I also make up melodies in my head, though I have no talent for lyrics. The songs of the school were all hymns, nearly entirely I find uninteresting."

"Sing me one of these folk songs, then."

I sang a song of a young boy who learns of the red string of fate. An old man tells him he is bound to the woman destined for him by this string, as he himself is tied to his own wife. He points to a young girl playing and tells the boy she is his future mate. The boy, angered by the idea of his life already laid out for him, picks up a rock and hurls it at the girl, injuring her brow. He flees and goes off into the world to make a life for himself. Some years later, he returns and his family has made a match for him. On his wedding night, he is pleased that his wife is the most beautiful girl in the village, though she wears a decoration on her brow. She removes it and he sees a scar. She explains that when she was a girl, a boy threw a rock at her and she wears the decoration to disguise it. The boy acknowledges his fate and the couple falls in love.

Once again, Inuyasha clapped for me, looking up at me with wonder.

"From whom did you hear this tale?" he asked.

"From a traveling merchant. He told me the story and then aided me in putting it to song."

"It is quite different from the Western idea of the Greek fates. How do you find it?"

"I enjoy the story and find it more in line with what my heart would like to believe."

"You are a romantic, then. Did you know this is an Eastern story?"

"No…no, indeed! How far the merchant must have travelled in his time!"

"Just so. A curious name you have: Kagome Higurashi. Have you any idea from where you acquired it?"

I gave him an odd look, though he still had yet to look at me. "From my parents, of course."

"Does it not strike you as odd, the exoticness of it? Have you ever heard or read of another with a similar name?"

I thought about this for a moment. "I suppose it does have a strangeness to it, so many vowels, and it is not spelled as it should be pronounced in English. I confess nothing is known of my parents; I was left with a note only bearing my name and its pronunciation on the doorstep of the institution."

"Hn. Inuyasha, how do you find your new teacher?"

"She is wonderful, Sess! When Myoga tries to teach me things, I get bored, but Miss Higurashi is so much different. And she made me a _dog_!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

He laughed and it nearly took my breath away, the deep, rich sound that it was. "Is that so? And what did you give her in return?"

"I made her a drawing of her in her fairy wings."

Lord Rochester looked at Inuyasha sharply who added, defensively, "She liked it."

I felt compelled to speak up and defend the boy, putting my arm about his shoulders. "And so I did. Inuyasha shows great talent in drawing and it showed his great imagination to think of someone like me as so fanciful a creature," I had no idea what had prompted that look.

My master turned his gaze moodily back to the fire. "That will be all. It is well past Inuyasha's bedtime. Do take him to bed." And just like that, we were dismissed.

…..


	3. Swirling Crimson and Purity

Chapter 3

The next morn at breakfast Mrs. Fairfax asked how I found the master.

"He is well enough, though I found him mercurial and irascible besides."

"Oh, dear. Surely he didn't…?"

"No, no, he was not explosive. Merely did he go from conversable to giving Inuyasha a glare for no provocation."

"Oh, well, allowances must be made. He is gentry, and they have always been prone to moodiness, but the master has not had an easy go of it and he does not tolerate the presence of his ward well. You see, his ward is his bastard half brother." It occurred to her then that she had never given me a full tour of the house and we left her room to commence it. We climbed stairs and opened doors, she showed off her master's fine furniture and artwork as we continued our conversation.

"Brother? Yes, of course! Their unique coloring and beauty! How could I not have made the connection?"

"Well, it is easily done. They are 20 years apart and I would have been surprised if you had not thought Inuyasha his son."

"Surely a man would be warmer to his own son and not leave him so much unattended."

"A good point, to be sure. But it is a terrible business. You see, young Master Sesshoumaru, as we called him then, loved his mother more than anything in the world and she loved him back with the same ferocity. He loved his father as well, and strove continually for the man's attentions, but never seemed to please him. Neither, it is said, could Mrs. Rochester meet his approval, for he found every willing female for miles to take to his bed, shaming her deeply. Sesshoumaru, not just for a love of his mother, but also for the family pride, for you see, generations upon generations of Rochesters have been faithful, family men, hated his father. Even the family motto as you can see in the coat of arms at the head of the great staircase reads 'Fidelity, Family Above All Else.' It might have carried on that way for always until his latest mistress, Izayoi, who he brought back with him from a visit to their ancestral lands abroad, became pregnant. The master gave her everything she wanted: rooms here at the estate, jewels, furs, silks. Why, she even sat at their dinner table! And so it happened that his mistress, installed under the very same roof as his proper mate and son, gave birth here at Thornfield to Inuyasha."

"Poor Mrs. Rochester: she was so humiliated and depressed. His father came to Izayoi's birthing room to find her bleeding out from complications; shortly, she died in his arms. They say he went mad with the grief and slit his throat with the knife used to sever the cord, leaving the body to be found by his wife, who, reaching her limit for betrayal, climbed to the battlements and threw herself from them."

"My God…," I breathed.

"And so, the Master, then but 20, drew into himself. He hired a nurse for his half-brother and consequently spends as little time as possible here at Thornfield. Perhaps now you may understand if he is a little taciturn and bristly. In his youth, he was much like Inuyasha, bright, bold, full of affection, but since his great shame, well, who could be the same after such tragedy? I think he is short-tempered with the boy because he reminds him of himself at that age and that somehow this babe, as yet unknown and with no effort, stole the only father he had from him and his mother. Still, as I've said, he is an honorable man and believes in the family creed above all things. He will take care of his brother always, even if he cannot always be as warm to the boy as one might hope."

A kind of respect kindled in my breast for my master and I endeavored to be understanding with his faults. He had spoken truth when he said he knew the look of suffering.

We had made our way to the third floor and the rooms here were greatly used as storage of antiquated and out of fashion furniture and artwork. Still, it was all of the finest quality and hung with costly fabrics and all were kept in pristine condition by the staff. When I remarked upon my surprise that, at the least, parts of the house were not closed up or furniture covered during the master's long absences, Mrs. Fairfax replied that though his visits were infrequent, they came with no warning and he was a neat sort of man who preferred to be surrounded by warmth and cleanliness. Therefore, they kept the house at readiness at all times.

We were coming down from the battlements when I heard a disturbing sort of laughing growl that chilled me to my marrow. I had gone first down the stair and, being fleeter of foot in my youth, was a good deal ahead of Mrs. Fairfax so I stopped, frozen, and awaited her. When she came I asked, "Did you perchance hear that awful sound?"

"Of course, I did, child! Mr. Poole attends to the master's estate books up here in one of these rooms and I daresay he is an eccentric. Still, no one better for the task can be found and he has been invaluable over the years, especially with the master's long absences. She raised her voice, "Oh, Mr. Poole?" Emerged from a room down the hall was a large, barrel-chested man of likely 40 years who bowed courteously to Mrs. Fairfax. "A little less noise, if you please, Mr. Pool. You recall your instructions?" Again a bow before he returned to where he had come, closing the heavy door behind him.

Mrs. Fairfax twirled away and continued her tour, myself following closely behind.

…

Weeks passed and I barely knew Lord Rochester was in residence except for the constant ringing of the bell and the traffic of guests that came with his arrival. I spent my meals and evenings with Mrs. Fairfax, my mornings with my pupil, and my afternoons stuck in a book or out on a walk. Occasionally, I had the strangest feeling of being watched, particularly when I was singing to myself, but when I looked, there was no one to be found. I convinced myself it was my overactive imagination and continued on with my day.

One day, late February, Mrs. Fairfax interrupted an arithmetic lesson to tell me Lord Rochester wished to see me in the parlor. I excused myself from Inuyasha, giving him an assignment which made him groan before patting his head and giving him a dose of encouragement. Mrs. Fairfax had gone about her business so I made my way to the parlor alone. The doors were open, so I knocked on the frame.

"Come," he said, his face captured by a volume of poetry, in the symbols I had come to learn were called _kanji_. When he finished what he was reading, he marked the page and set the book aside, telling me, "Sit there." He pointed to the chair perpendicular to the couch at the corner where he was sitting. I sat and awaited him. "Why have you not begun music lessons with the boy?"

"Because I was not given permission, sir."

"Well, I tell you, you have free reign over him: you need no permissions. I do encourage you, please, to tutor him in music."

"When you yourself have deemed my playing ill?

"I do not doubt your fundamentals, only your execution with the instrument. Besides, it is not your only one."

"Consider it done, then, sir."

He stared at me for a long moment and took a very deep breath through his nose as he had when we had first met. Surely a trick of the light, I would have sworn to the Almighty I saw the barest ribbon of crimson swirl in his golden eyes. I reminded myself that this was a tortured soul and allowed him his eccentricities, though I was uncomfortable with the scrutiny. And then, as if in a dream, I found my eyes could not leave his; I was captivated. My heart beat wildly in my chest like a bird in a cage and I forgot to breathe; I felt this singular need to move closer to him and noticed him doing the same. We sat there long minutes staring thus, the most peculiar look on his face, his eyes searching as if for my very soul.

The hurried steps of small feet approached and still we stared, I as though I could find some answer in his depths to a question I had yet to discover. His hand reached out for mine. The collision of Inuyasha's body with my own broke the spell; he had collapsed in an excited heap at my feet and grasped me about my waist. I took a deep breath to clear my head. When I looked down, Lord Rochester's hands were at his sides.

"Sess got me a present!" the child exclaimed. "Look, look!" He thrust his treasure beneath my nose. It was a long, wooden sword in a slightly curved style which was unfamiliar to me.

"A sword?" I asked stupidly. I was acutely embarrassed to have been witnessed staring at my employer, no matter that he had been the one to commence it and my mind was fuzzy as if I had just awoken from a dream.

"A bokken!"

"It has occurred to me that Inuyasha is far past time to begin training. Thus have I hired a swordmaster to train him in the afternoons," Lord Rochester clarified.

I was touched that he was taking an interest in Inuyasha and smiled at him before looking down to my pupil. "How very proud you must be to begin such a manly occupation!"

Inuyasha beamed. A thought occurred to him and he asked his brother, "Sess, did you get Miss Higurashi a present, too?"

I blinked at the absurd question and waited for Lord Rochester to dismiss the silly notion. Instead he asked me in an angry tone, "Did you expect a present, Miss Higurashi? Do you like them?"

Puzzled by his change in manner, I answered cautiously, "I should hardly know, sir. I am little acquainted with them. They are usually considered agreeable things."

"Usually? And what do _you_ think?"

"I think it should depend on the meaning behind the gift. A present has many faces, does it not? Reflection should be used before passing judgment."

"You still have left my question unanswered: did you expect a present, Miss Higurashi?"

"For what reason should I expect one, sir? I am merely your paid employee, no relation or friend, and there is no occasion for such. Why on earth should I expect such a boon?"

He seemed to relax. "You are modest! I have witnessed you take great pains with Inuyasha. He has difficulty when concentrating and has never been good with arithmetic and yet he shows great progress in the little time you are here."

"Then you have given me my present for certainly there is no greater gift to a teacher than to hear praise of their pupil."

"Hn." He looked at me again, in his intense manner, as if deciding something. "Such a pure thing you are. That is a rarity in this world, Miss Higurashi, to be sure."

I was grateful when Mrs. Fairfax announced dinner was ready as I could leave and examine the strange fluttering in my chest.

…..


	4. To Forgive Himself

Chapter 4

The next evening, I was once again summoned to Lord Rochester. He was in the dining room at the head of the table in his comfy, damask chair and, having finished his meal, was sipping his wine and staring into the fire. When he saw me at the door, he bid me enter and take the seat at his right and so I did, pulling the chair to create some distance between myself and my employer.

"Now, now, pull that chair closer, not farther; I shall not bite. I prefer to be able to see you as I lounge in my chair and I cannot do that if you persist in such silliness."

He turned his attention back to the fire and stared for long moments. I moved my chair closer and sat, realizing now my face was fully lit in the light of the fire. I took the opportunity to examine him. Likely the effect of drink, Lord Rochester was lightly flushed and seemed in a cheery mood. His eyes had a soft look to them and the very corner of his lip curled in a soft smile as he thought of something that pleased him.

"I can feel those ethereal eyes on me, Miss Higurashi. Do you find me handsome?"

In my usual straightforward way, I thoughtlessly said, "No." Instantly I abused myself for not speaking decorously.

"Ha!" His eyes fell full on me. "There is that purity of yours again. When asked a question, you have no choice but to tell the absolute truth, do you? And I wonder, because you did tell me the truth. Most women would disagree with you."

"Forgive me, sir, I should have clarified my answer: I would not call you handsome because I consider you rather beautiful instead. As I am sure you are aware, as you seem to know the opinions of most women, you have a singularly lovely countenance."

He crooked his head. "And yet it has no effect on you."

"I will admit you dazzled me when first I laid eyes on you: I thought you an angel or some other mythical creature and yet you are instead just a man. Beauty is of little consequence to one without it, sir. To me, there are other, more important, qualities."

"And if I were some creature of myth, what then?" he asked quietly.

"Certainly that would depend on what sort of creature you were, would it not? If you meant harm or good."

"What if I merely wished to live my life?"

"As long as you did not impugn on anyone to do so, I should say you have that right as much as anyone."

"And if I wished to share my life? Would that be allowed?"

"Why, of course, as long as you did so honorably."

"And therein lies the crux, for who would have me? I once had a pure soul, such as yours, a feeling heart, but since, Fate has tossed me about like a ship on the rough currents. I am afraid I may sink ere I reach a safe port."

Deciding he had definitely over-imbibed, I pacified, "You underestimate the lighthouses there to aide your journey home. And, should you run aground and sink, you will be safe in the calmness under the sea, peacefully waiting until some brave diver finds you and delivers your treasure."

"Then you believe there is some hope of deliverance?"

He spoke as if there was some great sin he had committed. I knew the story of his family shame, could he somehow blame himself for this tragedy? Or was there more that burdened his soul? Helpless against his plea, I gave the only answer I could, "Sir, you are by your own account pleasing to women's eyes, you are titled, of good property, family and respectability, you are honorable and well-liked by those who serve you: I see no reason for this moroseness."

"You know much about me, I am sure. No doubt…_no _doubt, you have been apprised of the great family scandal of your employer's by now. I would have you hear it from my own lips, as I fear your nature calls to me bidding I relieve my heart of its secrets."

I was silent, which apparently he found comforting.

"I have a faith in your goodness, Miss Higurashi, that you are not as others are: that, receiving of confidences, you are one to keep them. And so I shall tell you the story of my family in my own words. My entire life, I sought, like any son, to please my father. I excelled in my studies, I took up music and became a singular swordsman. From thence, I was top of my class at Oxford, earning much distinction, I am proud to say, but never did I hear a word of approval from the man. So, too, did the blessed woman who was my mother, Aiko by name, meaning "beloved," a rather cruel irony, strive to please that man. She was met with the same success as I and was tortured, too, for she was greatly in love with him. She burned for him, composed poetry and song for him, pushed me to become a greater man for him, kept a home of rich comforts and did everything in her power to regain the favor he had bestowed once which had garnered her assent to marry him."

"My father was a mean exception, a canker on what has always been and ever shall be the pride of the Rochesters, known in our homeland as the House of Taisho. With his great exemption, we are carved from the same block: men who value the love of our mates and children to all other things on this earth. If my father had been like us and unlike himself, he would have exulted in my mother's care and attentions and showered her with the love she so desperately sought, but alas he was a wastrel of a man. He was full of vice, vile, wicked, and threw back in my mother's face her efforts. As soon as I was old enough, I stood up for her and from thence protected her from his physical abuses but I could not silence his hateful words nor halt his deeds."

"My mother, whose large heart, so like the one beating in your own breast, forgave her husband his slights, forgave the women as they warmed his bed and left her own cold and alone, entreated me to do the same, but I tell you it was not in me to do so: I am not that good. I felt only vengeance and hate for the man who turned my mother's creamy skin sallow and made her eyes lose their brilliant glow over the years, for I tell you, she was a great beauty; I am said to resemble her in face. Here!" He pulled from around his neck a locket and slipped it over his head. "Come closer and see her," he bid me.

I leaned forward, but that was not enough. He gave me a look of impatience before pulling my chair with me in it until our knees touched; I was keenly aware of the contact, though he seemed unconcerned. He bent his head close to mine and opened the locket. There inside was a miniature of the very lady, who it could be seen was clearly my master's good mother, as the resemblance of fine features was uncanny. She was magnificently beautiful: his features rendered on a feminine form showed clearly of the divine hand in creation. I told my master so and he smiled down at her with the greatest expression of love to which I had ever been witness.

He straightened and continued as I sat back in my chair and listened. "On a trip to our homeland while I was away at university, my mother's maidservant, who you must understand was quite on in years, died. She sought to find a new one, and, in her naïveté, chose a grasping, self-serving woman who knew well of my father's reputations and sought to exploit them: the woman Izayoi. By all accounts, she had a charm to her, but as I was away, I could not make account of it to you. My good mother invited the woman into her home and she was repaid with deceit and treachery."

"By my mother's words, within a fortnight was her new maid installed as my father's mistress and not long after was she with child. For some reason, and I tell you now I still to this day suspect supernatural forces, my father gave this succubus anything she did ask for, no matter the cost. He had spoiled his mistresses in the past, but for this one, he would surely have bankrupted us had they lived. As I'm sure you heard, the witch lived here along with my lady mother, in her own sumptuous apartment just down the hall from her and though she tried to avoid her viciousness and base manners, my father perversely insisted they all take meals together, shaming her further."

"She was finally delivered of her bastard, during which time—and this is not known by any but myself now living—my father sat in his office penning a new will, one that wrote out myself and my mother, his legal kin, and assigned his strumpet and her whelp as his heirs. I can only tell you that God in his Heaven must have interceded at that point, for Izayoi lay dying of complications and my father was summoned to see her and his new son, leaving the will unfinished and unverified by the law. His love, if that man was capable of such an emotion, died in his arms and he descended into madness, cutting his throat."

"The common story told is that my mother discovered his body and flung herself from the rooftop in grief. I had arrived home by that time, summoned by the desperate and despondent tone of her latest letter, and found her in my father's study, weeping. In her hand was the unfinished will: this was her final straw, not her mate's desire to follow his succubus in death, but his disowning of herself and the son she loved so dearly, showing how little we truly meant to him. I put her to bed and summoned the doctor, who prescribed a sedative be given for her nerves. I burned the cursed document in the fire and went myself to bed; I was awoken by the creak of the attic door and the sound of steps on the battlements. I rose from my bed in time to hear the horrid sounds of my mother's scream and her body hitting the gravel drive as I realized when I went to my window and saw her there, recognizing her long, flowing hair spread out over her body like a cloak."

"I should not have trusted her alone: I knew full well she was in a deeply unsettled state, but instead I trusted in the doctor's medicine and saw to my own comfort after so long a hurried trip from the city. She was mine to protect and I let her fall as surely as if I had pushed her myself."

He was silent; the only sounds the rise and fall of our breathing and the crackle of the fire. I longed to touch him, to hold his tortured head to my breast as I would have the child of which I had charge, but I reminded myself this was no child in my care, but my master, and such liberties were not to be taken, no matter their intent. And so I sat and allowed him his thoughts, which I could see were tumultuous as his brow was furrowed and the corner of his haunted eye ticked. At last I felt I must offer him some little comfort, though I was sure he would not accept it.

"What happened was no fault of yours, sir. To assume so is folly," I said.

Slowly, his golden eyes turned to me and the look of vulnerability struck me. His whispered supplication came, "Say it again."

And so I did, because I believed it might do him some little good. He had trusted me with his complete version of the tale, one, I was certain, had never been told to another soul and might never be told again. At the slightest easement of his troubled brow, I said a third time, "You are not at fault." I watched as he blinked back grateful tears as if I had delivered him God's own forgiveness. Again I was overwhelmed with the need to touch him, and this I indulged, but only for the barest of moments. His hands grasped the arms of his chair; I reached for his nearest and squeezed his hand with my own before pulling away.

I stood.

"Where do you go?"

"To put Inuyasha to bed. It is well past his bedtime."

"You are afraid of me. You think me maudlin."

"I am confused, but as yet unafraid, sir."

"Have you never sat up and talked nonsense, Miss Higurashi? Have you never laughed? I see by the flawless skin round your eyes and mouth that you smile and laugh but rarely, yet know this: I have seen your soul and I know you are capable of great merriment and laughter if you would but allow yourself. You are not naturally austere any more than I am naturally vicious. You are still cloaked in the mantle given you at that loathsome school and it prevents your true, bright self from shining through. I think you also fear of displeasing, you think people will punish you or, worse, leave you if you importune, if you speak or act incorrectly: it is something I feel keenly. I think you will learn you may be yourself with me, as I find, in your manner of effortlessly forcing out my deepest thoughts, I must be so with you. And then you will blossom and I will be freed of my great burdens. Do you still leave me?"

"It is past nine, sir."

"Go then. I will see you another time. Good night, Miss Higurashi."

…..


	5. Passion Awakens

Chapter 5

In the weeks that followed, a new routine set in whereby my master could be seen at the doorway during my music lessons with his ward and nightly I was summoned to his presence to spend the evenings in his company. A strange sort of camaraderie it was: I singing songs as he played at the pianoforte, at which he excelled, my practicing of this new language to my learning, Japanese, which he extolled praises for my progress, his telling of stories of the world beyond these walls, of the great cities of the world, of his homeland, to which I listened with rapt attention, my reading to him and, as he had warned, more confessions of his demons and sins, of which there were, indeed, many.

One afternoon, I found myself in his company as he played Beethoven's Piano Sonata Number 14, "_Quasi una fantasia_" or more popularly known as "Moonlight." There was no need to turn the pages for him as he knew it utterly. The bittersweet notes found purchase in my soul and wrenched tears. This was my first time hearing this piece and it felt as though his fingers played the story of my inner pain, but then, too, I thought it might also be of his. Tears sprang to my eyes and I sighed with longing. He reached the second movement and bid me to dance, and despite my school-taught reservedness, rose, closing my eyes and did as I was bid, swirling my skirt and imagining myself alone in a field with that pleasant, hopeful melody in my head as I visited with flower nymphs. At the commencement of the third movement, I closed my eyes again and fell on my elbows on the lid of the instrument, rapturously enjoying the flighty passion of the music my master created from his talented fingertips.

I could feel his eyes on me, examining me as my head moved of its own accord, following the ebb and flow of the music, the intense sforzandos, and I had the oddest feeling that he played this piece solely for my benefit, to elicit my reactions, to evoke my feelings and passions. I breathed deeply with the phrases, as if I were singing them instead of him playing them, as if drawing energy from the piece. My hands, also beyond my control, grasped and released at nothing, though I admit, I was moved to imagine there was something there and it was no innocent thought, for, indeed, I imagined feverish kisses with a mystery lover, hands grasping at the other, hearts aflame. I was not entirely innocent of such thoughts as I had in my youth caught a teacher of mine embraced with the groundskeeper and often replayed the kiss in my mind. Had I possession of my faculties, I should have had the presence of mind to be embarrassed, but, ensnared as I was, all I felt were my own desires.

At the end of the piece, I found my upper body stretched catlike across the body of the pianoforte: my right arm extended, my head resting on it, my left hand before me, fingers lightly curled. I opened my eyes dreamily and found the gaze of my master, who stared at me with such a burning look—one I again swore contained swirling ribbons of crimson—that I thought he would leap at me and devour me whole. In my innocence, I could not yet interpret such a look as his and so looked back curiously. He was breathing deeply through his nostrils as he did often in my presence and I had the strangest impression that he was catching some wafting aroma that brought him delight.

And so we stayed there, staring, as we often did, a mystery I confess I felt I had little hope of solving for I had never indulged in such behavior before. At length, he blinked and his eyes were his normal golden again and he rose. As he straightened, so did I follow suit, never losing eye contact, and when he extended his hand, I took it, following him to the door and thence down the hall to the main door thence out into the courtyard rich with the gloaming. I noticed that look on his face: his confessional look of a man about to unburden his sins and penitent for absolution. I did not know why he chose me for these divulgences, but I took them as I selfishly admit they made me feel closer to him, and though it puzzled me why a man such as he should wish to spend so much time with a mere governess, I cherished those evenings spent in his company. I had long since figured out why my heart fluttered in his presence: that my heart pined for his, and I knew there was no hope for it, but I would take what he offered me before he grew bored and resumed his worldly travels and experiences.

We walked as he gathered his thoughts and my mind strayed inward. He was the first person since Miss Temple that I could converse with on matters of the world, and though he had seen so much more of it than I, I had read much and had formed many opinions, my discussion of which, I flattered myself, pleased my master for he was always inquiring about them. Though we had been born unequal in caste, we spoke as equals in our evenings together and I lived for those moments. The part of me that yearned for true companionship was sated, though I wondered for how long.

He spoke then, "I have often sought love in the time since my mother's demise, but have never found it, nor a soul worthy of my own, though I should say, I did often try to fit a square peg into the round hole of my heart. I have had lovers, Miss Higurashi, many, though I tried to find something lasting and did so with mistresses. I am sure this comes as no shock to you, as I have often attempted to sketch my character to you and I am sure you find me lacking in goodness."

"Sir, you are human and therefore created with faults. We are not meant to be perfect beings, but rather to try our best and to ask forgiveness when we stray."

"Then I shall ask it of you. When I was young, not much older than yourself but still retaining that innocence of character which you possess despite my family troubles, I shared, what I believed at the time, to be a great love affair with an opera dancer by the name of Celine Varens. She flattered me obsequiously, told me often how very handsome I was and how deeply her love for me. In the shameful way of my father, I installed her as my mistress in a grand hotel in Paris, showered her with gifts and even bought her a carriage for her own use. I thought nothing of her desire to schedule our interludes, assuming it an eccentricity of a beautiful woman, and we spent nearly a year in that manner."

"I was charmed by her as she was vivacious of spirit, if flighty, and because she seemed so very much in love with me. I saw none of her faults; she was my idol and I paid homage to her. I had been away on business but arrived back in Paris two days early so thought to surprise my love. Arriving at her apartment, I found her absent so awaited her, breathing in her perfume which had soaked into the walls of the place. It was a strong concoction of musk and amber and before long, I found it overpowering without her presence to distract me from it. I opened the balcony door and stepped out to watch the traffic in the street below and seeing her equipage approach, felt my heart thrum in my chest."

"I saw her alight and thought to call down to her, but as my lips parted, a beaver hat and polished shoe exited and I felt such acute jealousy I thought to tear him asunder but so, as he straightened and kissed my love I saw that it was a man from my homeland, one who was no friend of mine but rather a spineless cur who had previously thought to steal my birthright while I was away, a notion I had only just addressed by defeating his army. I saw then why he was not there to command it."

"I tell you then that my love for her, my jealousy that had risen so fast, died in that moment. If she could not only be so free with her favors but also to do so with my enemy, I wanted none of her. I cracked the door of the balcony, the better to hear their endearments when they arrived, and heard from her lips the most horrid portrayal of my character. Said she that I was an easy mark, so like a puppy: eager to love and be loved, willing to do and follow however she commanded. She assured her lover they would not be interrupted."

"Have you ever felt jealousy, Miss Higurashi? No, of course you have not, for you have never felt love: your soul slumbers, awaiting such experiences to shock and awaken it. You have hitherto flowed as on a gentle river on your passage through this life, but I tell you, one day you will meet the rapids and craggy rocks and you will rush and crash against them either to be broken to pieces by the tumult, or borne, as I, to calmer currents where I find myself now."

He looked up to the sky and prounounced, "I like this weather, this day of still greyness, this gloaming here among the old trees of my childhood home where yet the promise of spring does portent. And you should like it here in the spring, Miss Higurashi. I know you would enjoy the gardens and orchards as I do, especially at this time of day, for you are so like myself of old. And yet how I have shunned this place, full of horrid memories and things I most wish never to encounter again. How I abhor—,"

His jaw tightened as he looked to the top of the house and he stopped, arrested in some dark thought which prevented his progress. The look on his face, of such blind hatred, of such loathing and rancor, I could not fathom. I had never hoped to see such a look and I tell you it chilled me to my soul. Could his past haunt him so that he felt such feverish abhorrence?

As he stood there, stuck, I grasped at the only thing I could think of, though I was certain it as ill-timed and I would receive a sharp reply to leave him, but determined was I to deliver him from this oppression. I asked, "Did you then come in from the balcony, sir?"

That seemed to shake him loose of his confines and he blinked, looking down at me with confusion and spoke, "Did I? Oh! Oh, yes! The balcony!" His steps recommenced and I walked again with him. "During that moment I seemed to lose myself, Miss Higurashi, I was arguing with Destiny. She was daring me to like this home of mine, to find happiness here, and I shouted back to her that I will dare, that I shall be delivered of the misery of my soul. 'I will break all obstacles of happiness, to goodness—indeed, to goodness,' said I, "I will rend them and let myself have what I desire most in life.'"

"So, oh, yes, the balcony. I had all but forgotten Celine! See what good you do me, Miss Higurashi? I admit it is strange that I should seek to unburden my soul to an innocent, stranger still that you listen so calm and so still, encouraging with your aura alone. I would not tell you these things if I did not have singular confidence in the mind to which I impart these sins, for I could never knowingly bring one such as you harm, indeed, it would be like cutting the horn from a unicorn to do so, an unpardonable sin, knowing that no matter what I share, your soul shall never be corrupted by them, your goodness remaining untainted. The more I talk with you, the lighter I feel, the closer to being a real person again."

"So, then, I chose that exact moment to enter, after she had just pronounced they would not be disturbed and calmly liberated her from my protection, ignoring her pleas, gyrations, promises and hysterics and told the man to bring his seconds to the Bois de Boulogne. The next morning, I had the pleasure of running through his heart with my steel, not, I should mention, for his indiscretion with my former lover, but rather for his grasping plans for my native home."

"Well, now, it is time to come inside for the hour grows late and the sun is but gone."

I followed him inside the house and joined Mrs. Fairfax for supper.

….


	6. A Fire Lit

Chapter 6

I lay awake that night in the time before sleep would envelop me reflecting on his story and wondering at the whole of it. I supposed that Englishmen falling in love with French opera dancers was quite a common occurrence in society, and felt keenly for his broken heart, but also wondered at how fast he had seemed to get over the pain of it. Surely true love cannot be blinked away in an instant because the object of that love does something unforgivable? I resolved that either it was not truly love that he had felt for Mademoiselle Varens or he still felt the pain of that wound and hid it well.

I thought again of his extreme distress, of those moments he did say he exchanged words with Destiny. "Why should he not be happy?" thought I. "Certainly he deserves it as much as anyone, perhaps more for bearing the trials of his life." He had indulged in an overabundance of sin in his years away following his parents' deaths, but he seemed presently to be on a different path entirely and I flattered myself that I was a small comfort to him in this time of inner examination and change. He seemed to realize that the promised sweet taste of such activities instead turned to ash in his mouth, that the nectar of these so-called pleasures did not satisfy and instead only increased the aridity of the body. I approved and applauded his efforts to atone for his actions and decided I would continue to aid him as I could in his pursuit.

I was left with the question of when he would leave this place he so hated. Mrs. Fairfax said he never stayed more than a fortnight and yet he had been in residence these eight weeks past. I prayed it would not be soon, for in our brief interludes, I lived more than I had in 18 years at Lowood. "If he does go, the change will be doleful. How should I manage without his company should he stay away for months and months as has been his habit? How dreary spring and summer shall feel, despite the blossoms and sunshine, without his presence to warm me!" I said to myself.

As I lay there thinking of my master, I heard a rustle outside my door and my mind leapt to the supernatural, as it was wont to do, earning a nervous patter in my chest and a tremble to my hands which now did grasp my coverlet.

Sense intruded at last, and I thought perhaps it was merely Pilot, the master's great dog, snuck up from his place in the kitchens as he was sometimes like to do to rest near his master. Silence followed, and I relaxed as only one can in its calming emptiness. Dreams had barely overtaken me when the sound of someone touching my door handle awoke me fully. "Who is there?" I called.

There was no reply. Long moments I waited and there was nothing. Though my senses tingled with awareness I managed to calm my nerves. Surely it was just Pilot.

But no, just then I heard a marrow-freezing sound the likes of which sent me to my door to fasten the bolt: a deep, malevolent chuckle, dark as sackcloth and unearthly as the grave, which rippled over me as if the one responsible were there behind me, breathing in my ear. I shook and trembled with terror for reason could produce no explanation for such a sound. I whipped around, searching the darkness for the specter, and then it came again, low and ghastly, and this time I knew it came from behind my door.

Something gurgled and moaned. Before long, I heard the sound of steps retreating and up the third floor stair; I heard the sound of a door open and close and then all was still yet again. "Was that Mr. Poole? Was he possessed by a devil?" I thought.

No longer able to sit by myself, I hurriedly dressed in my frock and shawl before throwing the bolt to the door with a trembling hand in order to find Mrs. Fairfax. In the hall, a candle was lit. An odd circumstance, but odder still was the quality of the light: it seemed diffused as if dulled by a fog but then it was that I smelled smoke. I looked right and left to ascertain from whence this came and noticed Lord Rochester's door down the hall lay open and from there did the smoke originate, billowing out.

I thought no more of Mr. Poole or Mrs. Fairfax, but instead ran to my master's room. And there it was seen: his bed curtains were in full flame, the smoke choked me as I entered and I tried to wake him, but he was lulled by the smoke and would not awaken. I sprang to his washstand and gave silent thanks both the bowl and pitcher were full. I immediately made use of them to stop the spread of the fire, though it continued to burn in places. I ran to my room and seized my own and this I used to splash Lord Rochester, which brought him to wakefulness with a start and a bellow.

"Is there a flood?" He raged at finding himself laying in a puddle

"There is none, sir, but there is yet a fire. Do get from your bed and help me afore it takes the whole of the house."

"Is that Kagome Higurashi? What magic do you here? Do you conspire with your fellow faeries to drown me in my sleep?"

I was tugging him forcefully from bed and snapped, "Sir, if you would but notice your bed curtains aflame!"

Finally I had his attention. He stood and tugged at the curtains, bringing them to the floor and, grabbing his coverlet, pounded out the flames.

"I will find a candle, Sir. Somebody has plotted something: you cannot too soon find out who and what it is."

When I returned, he took the light and surveyed the damage, asking, "Who did this?" To which I answered briefly what I had witnessed: the skulking, the frightful laugh, the footfalls on the stair to the third floor, the smoke, the smell of fire, and how I came thus to his room whereupon I deluged him with all the water I could lay my hands upon. He listened to my story with interest and as I continued, I daresay his face more resembled concern than astonishment. He remained quiet after I concluded.

"Shall I wake Mrs. Fairfax?" I asked.

"No, no, there is no occasion to rouse the woman, what can she do? Leave her to sleep."

"Then I shall fetch Leah, the maid, or wake John and his wife?"

"No, indeed; just be still. You must be cold, yes, I can see you shivering there. Take my cloak there on the armchair and—here, I shall put it on you. There you are. Now do sit yourself here in the chair, put your feet on this stool so they are out of the wet and await me. It seems I must make a visit to the upstairs. Remember to stay put and to wake no one." He left and I watched as the light of his candle faded to blackness.

I awaited him and listened, but after his gentle steps on the stair, I heard nothing. I strained, but no sound could I perceive. It was cold despite his cloak and I decided that my presence was unneeded as I was not to wake anyone and so had resolved to rise and make my way back to my room when light again approached. I uttered a prayer beneath my breath that it was he returning and not some foul specter.

It was indeed him and I breathed a sigh of relief. He appeared disturbed and even paler than his usual, "I have it discovered," said he, setting his candle down on his dresser. "It is as I suspected."

"How is that, sir?" I asked.

He did not answer, instead leaning his back against the wall and crossing his arms at his chest as he looked to the wet floor sullenly. He asked, "Did you say you saw anything when you opened your chamber door?"

"No, sir, just the candle and thus the smoke."

"Yet you heard that laughter? I daresay you have heard that laughter before, have you not, or something similar?"

"Yes, sir. The man who attends your books, Gregory Poole, he laughs in that manner. He is...singular, sir."

"Just so. Gregory Poole is indeed singular—very—you have guessed it. I shall think on this matter and you, I trust, will keep this to your own counsel in your normal way or secret-keeping. I do not wish for the events of tonight to be fodder for gossip. I shall take care of this," he said, pointing to the bed, "and will spend the rest of the night on the couch in the parlor; that should do well enough for me. Away to your bed now and try to catch some sleep ere morning."

"Good night, then, sir," I said, making my departure.

He seemed startled, for what I could not guess, and said "You are leaving me? Just like so?"

"You bid me return to my chamber, sir."

"But not without taking leave, without a few pleasantries, not, in short, in that brief dry manner you have attempted. You have saved my life, Kagome! Delivered me from a sure, wretchedly painful death and you would pass me as if we were but strangers! At least let us shake hands."

He held out his hand and I gave him mine own, which he took firstly in one then in both. He looked at me with a wildness, a strange ferocity of feeling which I could not yet understand but for some reason thrilled me.

"You, Kagome Higurashi, have saved my very life. I find I am happy it is you to whom I owe this debt. Any other would be intolerable and hold it aloft, but you, it is so different: I feel your benefits as grace, as no burden to me." He looked as if he would say more, his eyes intent on my own, his lips almost working further words, but he held himself back for some reason.

"Good night again, sir. There is no debt, benefit, burden, obligation, in this case."

"I knew it: that you would do me good in some way at some time. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on your fragile little form there in the lane, your eyes brightened by exercise, your cheeks rubbed pink from the cold. You stood there like a little nun, cloaked in your beneficence, and looked at me as if you saw to my very soul. Your sweet kindness and the smile in your eyes did not—," he paused as if overcome by some emotion, "did not strike delight in my most inmost heart for nothing. People talk of kindred spirits, or angels come to earth and the fae who watch over us; surely there is some truth in every fairy tale. My dear Miss Higurashi, I wish you good night."

"I am glad I happened to be awake and that I could be of service," I said before making to step away from him.

"What, you _will_ leave me?"

"I am cold, sir."

"Cold? Yes, indeed, you must be, and standing in the wet as well. Go then, Kagome!" But he still retained my hand and though I tugged on it, he held it still. I was confused and not a little frightened by his intensity and so thought quickly.

"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax awake in her room"

"Oh, well then, go." And his hold relaxed so as I could remove my hand, yet as soon as it was done, I wished I had left it where it was.

I returned to my room, but not to sleep. I found my bed and lay there with too many thoughts to ever find rest. So much had happened tonight and yet it wasn't of the attempt on my master's life that I thought, but of the conversation after. He had seemed so intense, almost…ardent, though I had nothing but books on which to compare the likeness, having never seen such a behavior before. I allowed myself the fancy that indeed I had seen in his eyes an affection, in his words an attachment, but cold reason found me and splashed me with frigid water as I had done to Lord Rochester earlier. Still, I was so overheated with my wonderings that the water merely steamed away and did not have the shocking, cooling effect it ought to, merely placed a pang in my breast of pain as the metal of it cooled then reheated, contracting and expanding the material. Ere long, the birds were singing outside and the sun had risen.

….


	7. The Next Day

Chapter 7

The next morning I was possessed of a strange disquiet composed of eagerness and trepidation: eagerness to hear Lord Rochester's voice and to be in his presence, but trepidation to actually meet his eyes. I was certain he would want to speak with me today and half expected him to feel my same yearning and appear at the library door to hasten me away with him to someplace where we might speak privately. My lessons with Inuyasha went without incident, and our music lesson, to which Lord Rochester had been in daily attendance, was private, with no appearance by my master.

Everywhere I walked, I listened for his steps, thinking I heard his gentle footfalls everywhere, perceived his scent of woods and spice laced with pipe tobacco, and yet there was none. I came to the parlor, that place where we spent most of our time and breathed deeply of his scent there, but it was faint; he had not been here today. While there, I chanced to hear the commotion of the servants gathering in Lord Rochester's chambers above me. They spoke: "Fie, and it's a blessing the Master wasn't burned in his bed!" "Thank the Lord he had the presence of mind to reach for the basin and pitcher!" "Can you imagine? All this just from falling asleep reading and leaving a candle burning?" And on they prattled.

So he had created a lie to cover the truth. I sat there in the parlor listening as talk descended into harsh scrubbing and mopping, as the sounds of the mattresses being changed and linens brought in afresh filled the air. At length, I decided to venture to my room and find a book I had laid there for my lessons.

In passing Lord Rochester's room, I saw Leah inside, scrubbing smoke and soot from the windows and, to my surprise, Mr. Poole was there stringing up new bed curtains. I invited myself in and greeted them.

"Good morning, Miss," Mr. Poole said in his normal staid manner.

"I heard the others talking. It seems some dreadful business, don't you agree, Mr. Poole?"

"Oh, aye. Just goes to show you never can be too careful with a light, Miss."

I examined him and saw none of the clamminess of brow or whiteness of cheek one should expect of a suspected murderer. Indeed, the man seemed completely unaffected to be so calmly stringing rings, one at a time, ever so slowly, on the rod in the very room of his crime. I was incensed at his lack of conscience. "Did no one hear anything? Did Lord Rochester not call for anyone?" I asked in a low voice.

His normally dull eyes sharpened and looked at me with intelligence, assessing me. "Well, as you know, the servants are few, only myself, Leah, John and his wife, the cook and we all sleep far off. Yourself and Mrs. Fairfax sleep the closest to the master, but Mrs. Fairfax sleeps the sound sleep of an aging woman. Then you, well, you are young yet, Miss, perhaps you awoke with the commotion?"

Looking hard into his eyes, I said, "I did, in fact." I gathered up my courage for I was not one to court confrontations and had learned such lessons with birch switches to the back of my neck and the palms of my hands. "I lie awake and at first thought the noise to be Pilot up from the kitchen, but then Pilot does not laugh, and indeed, it was such a laugh as I shall never forget."

"It is unlikely Lord Rochester would laugh upon waking to a bed full of fire, Miss. You must have been dreaming."

"I know for certain I was awake, Mr. Poole."

"And did you, perchance, open the door to see out into the gallery at this time?"

"Aha!" thought I. "So the brigand thinks to counter-interrogate me to find out what I know! I will not aid him!" To him I said, "No, indeed. I bolted my door."

"Then you are not often in the habit of doing so? Thornfield is in the safest of neighborhoods, to be sure, but as I said, there are so few of us here to defend it with the master so often away and as you know, it is a very rich estate. The plate closet alone bears hundreds of pounds of inventory and it is no secret."

I upbraided myself for giving him such information. It occurred to me then that if he thought I knew too much, he would turn his wickedness upon me. "I can assure you, though I had not been much accustomed before, I _will_ be sure to throw the bolt every night henceforth before finding my bed."

"Be sure that you do, Miss, for there are terrible things that roam the night and such a one as you should take every opportunity to guard yourself from them. 'God helps those that help themselves,' mind you."

I was nearly shaking with my unspent anger at his hypocrisy and uncaring attitude for the whole affair. What, I wondered, could this man still smelling of his last drink yet this early in the day have over my master for him to not only hush up an attempt on his very life but also to let him remain in employ? If he were a woman, I would suspect a tender affection had persuaded him to overlook his deeds, but this was not the case. What past did they share that allowed this to happen? Lord Rochester had even sworn me to secrecy over the matter when he knew I knew full well who the culprit was.

Even with this matter high in my mind, I thought still of the conversation last night and of my master's intensity. I wondered if I had dreamed the whole thing but then I remembered his eyes and his unyielding grasp on my hand. Certainly I would see him yet today.

As I made my way to the schoolroom, I pondered these things and, finding Inuyasha busy on a sketch, looked over his shoulder. The boy turned and looked to me and exclaimed, "Miss Higurashi, but your face is so red! Are you quite well?"

"Of course I am well! I am merely flushed with stooping." The lie merely made me blush the more and, thankful for the time, I dismissed my pupil.

I hardly remember the day other than for my expecting to hear Lord Rochester approach at any minute. I checked often the time and kept reminding myself it was early yet and sometimes I was not summoned until six or seven if he had much to do. Finally it was time for tea and I made my way to Mrs. Fairfax's room where she bid me have a seat and join her.

"Are you well, my dear?" she inquired.

"Quite well," answered I.

"Good, then you will prove it with a fitness of appetite. You barely touched your dinner and I find you flushed and feverish today." She rose to lower the curtains and remarked, "Today was a fine, clear day. Lord Rochester would have had a good day for travel."

"Travel? Has the master gone?" I was in a state of shock.

"Oh my, yes! He left at dawn for the Leas, Mr. Eshton's place, which is a good ten miles on the other side of Millcote. They should have a fine party assembled there: Lord Ingram, Sir George Lynn, Colonel Dent, and others."

"Shall he return tonight?"

"Goodness, no, child! When these fashionable people get together, with their fine talk, fine food and drink, and fine manners, they are loath to part. I should not expect the master for at the very least some weeks, that is if he does not travel with them to the next house or perhaps from there to the continent. His recent stay here was really quite out of character for him. And the ladies! Lord Rochester always carries the sighs and moon-eyes of the ladies for, indeed, he is quite the most beautiful man and so wealthy and accomplished! There is not a mother in England who doesn't wish her daughter to marry Lord Rochester."

I felt that now familiar pang of pain in my heart as I asked, "Will there be ladies at the Leas?"

"Why, of course! There are Mrs. Eshton and her three daughters, all very elegant, indeed, the Honorable Blanche and Mary Ingram, both esteemed beauties. I have seen Miss Blanche, six or seven years hence, when she was but eighteen, as she was here at a Christmas Ball the master gave. You should have seen how the tree sparkled with lights and the flowers beckoned. There was garland on the staircases and mantelpieces and everywhere one looked it was jolly."

"You saw her, then? What was this Miss Blanche like?"

"Yes, I saw her, saw all of the girls, resplendent in their finery, and all so accomplished! We were even allowed to assemble in the hall to hear the ladies sing and play. And, why, Miss Blanche was the most accomplished of all. She sang with the voice both rich and powerful, and knew all of the works the gentleman asked for by rote—oh, and she played besides! Lord Rochester played for her as she sang and what a glorious couple they made, making blessedly sweet sounds for all to hear, and he joined her, too, singing a duet, for he has a voice just as fine."

"Lord Rochester sings?"

"Oh, yes, with his brilliant baritone he sings so well. As I'm sure you know, he's a great talent for music."

Jealousy ripped through my breast as I wondered why he had never sung with me, in all our evenings around the pianoforte, but then I was only a plain governess, not a beautiful, elegant lady. "What is Miss Blanche like?" I asked again.

"She is tall, like a Roman goddess, with olive skin besides, with gently sloping shoulders and graceful limbs, possessing a fine, generous figure. Her hair is a fashionable straw color, and it was made up with a crown of thick, sweeping braids and lovely golden curls at the front. Her complexion is fine, with features that show beauty and poise; she possesses the most lovely brown eyes, which twinkled with _joie de vivre_ and mirth. She was most definitely the queen of the ball, and, I'm sure, still is."

"This great lady remains unmarried?"

"So she does. I have heard it said she is choosy when it comes to her prospects, though I am sure she will be making a decision soon; it would not do for the fruit to wither on the vine. Then again, too, I hear her father's estate is mostly entailed so she likely does not come with a large dowry."

"Do you think Lord Rochester will court her?"

"I should think it would be a fine match, two beautiful people with such a mutual interest in music. It may even be for that purpose which Lord Rochester joined up with the party. One never knows, he may be ready to settle down. Most of his family did so early and he is still young yet. Perhaps he has tired of a bachelor's life."

I do not recall how I got to my room that night, only what I thought as I lay awake, retreating into my own mind. To myself, I expounded on the blatant, fanciful idiocy that was my state of mind of today, and, indeed, the last fortnight. I had let myself believe that the comparative favor of a gentleman of property and family for a poor, unconnected governess was more than it was. I was merely there to educate his ward and amuse him when boredom intruded upon his solitude. Did I truly think he harbored any dear sentiment for me? It was as like a toad to mate with a swan: impossible and horrible to contemplate. And yet I had. I had contemplated, and dreamed and wished so desperately. My teachers at school were right to punish me for this kind of thinking for where had it gotten me? A woman of no prospects has no business harboring a secret love for her master: it brings only unhappiness and awkwardness.

I pronounced to myself that a greater fool than Kagome Higurashi had never drawn breath and I resolved to remedy the situation at once. I told myself to take and draw a crude silhouette of myself using crayon and to highlight in it every imperfection to fullest truth, under which I shall write "Portrait of a Governess, disconnected, poor, and plain;" completing that, I should take a sheet of fine ivory from my supplies and thereby compose a miniature of my impression of the lady Blanche. I should use my finest colors, my clearest tints, and create her portrait, accounting for all the beauty and poise from Mrs. Fairfax's account. "Remember the glossy curls and the sparkling eye, let her exceptional radiance leap from the page and forget not the accoutrements of her station: her lovely trappings of dress and jewels that send the message you shall write below: 'Blanche, an accomplished lady of rank,'" I instructed myself.

"Whenever, in future, you again have the idea that Lord Rochester favors you, you will retrieve these pictures and compare them, reminding yourself that if Lord Rochester so chooses he will no doubt win the love of Miss Blanche, for he could have any woman he desired. Can it be even remotely believed that he would waste his time on someone so low, so unwanted, so dependant, so plebian?"

And so I swore to myself I would do it and so I did. Immediately I made the drawing of myself and finished it in but an hour. For the other, I labored intensely on it for a fortnight, paying it every attention and selfishly using that time to busy my mind and hand so as not to think impossibly again. I repeated my rote, that I was too insignificant to matter in the life of someone so highly placed, that I was nothing compared to a lady like the one whose image I sat creating and thanks to that discipline, I was able to maintain my dignity under what was to come, whereas had I not, I would surely have lost myself.

…..


	8. The Party Arrives

Chapter 8

Over the month that followed, I will admit to no small amount of pining, yet did I remain faithful to my self-promise and daily contemplate the images of myself and that lady. I consoled myself with the exuberant company of Inuyasha, who greatly enjoyed the lavish spoiling I bestowed upon him, and who, in turn, helped buoy my spirits to near normalcy when I was not alone with my own company. Indeed, the keen eye of Mrs. Fairfax suspected none of my inner turmoil and happily prattled on during our time together of such inanities as the weather and the state of the roads, for which I was grateful, as I had no desire to speak of our master or his courting of beauties.

And so it happened one morning that I was teaching Inuyasha and the sound of hoof beats on the gravel announced the approach of my master. Inuyasha rushed to the window, and so, too, did I, for despite my private laborings, his was still the face I most wanted to see in the world. There came my master, with Pilot running behind, but alongside, there was she: the very image of the portrait I had made, the Honorable Miss Blanche Ingram. And what a scene they made, beauty riding with beauty, leaning together and sharing a laugh as they pulled up to the door. In the distance, I could see carriages approaching, likely full of the party Mrs. Fairfax had described.

I watched as Lord Rochester dismounted then helped the lady from her own horse, his hand lingering at her side for, in my opinion, too long a moment for propriety. He smiled down into her lovely eyes before turning his gaze to the very library window in which I stood, as if he knew I had been intruding on their privacy, and met my eyes. He immediately returned his attentions to the lady and placed her hand on his arm to escort her in to the house.

I could hear Mrs. Fairfax and the others greeting the throng of guests as they entered, but though Inuyasha begged and pleaded to be let out I would not allow it. I knew that children were not usually tolerated well among these parties and would not have him maligned and kicked away for merely seeking attention. I daresay he did not understand, for he thought himself quite grown up already as a child of that age will, but I was firm with him and did not release him till his swordmaster, whom he called "Hikuu-sensei," arrived for him. I bid Hikuu not to soften upon his appeals, and he gave his word the boy would remain in his care only to be delivered to his nurse.

For myself, I watched from the shadows as the party split by gender, the ladies off to their rooms to change and make ready for the night's entertainment, the men to the lounge, where they took up cigars and pipes and poured from decanters. I made to sneak outside by the back stair, but met Mrs. Rochester, who had news for me.

"Such a lovely group of people here! Isn't it exciting Miss Higurashi?"

"To be sure, Mrs. Fairfax."

"When I spoke with Lord Rochester and told him how greatly his ward would wish to see the ladies and gentlemen, he agreed he should come and meet them tonight, and bid that you should come as well."

"Oh, no, surely he only said so out of courtesy! I could not possibly intrude on their revelry."

"The master thought you might say as much, for he said if you should, I must tell you that it is his particular wish that you be in attendance and should you fail to come, he himself shall find you and deliver you."

"Oh my…," I whispered.

"Now, now, it's not as bad as all that. Think of all the lovely fashions you will get to see, how you may look upon so many handsome faces and witness their entertainments. Here, I was shy in my youth as you are and I will tell you a secret. Arrive to the room whilst they yet sup in the dining room and find a place off to the side or in some corner: this way your entrance shall be no spectacle but rather something barely noticed. There, now, you can do that, can't you?"

"Yes, Mrs. Fairfax, I shall take your advice and do just that.

And so I did. I came to the drawing room directly after eating, wearing my finest dress of grey satin with the ornament I had from Miss Temple of a small, pearl brooch, ensconced myself in the window seat with a Japanese primer and waited. My timing was fortunate, for not a moment was I seated as the master's guests did enter. All who entered had a beauty to them physically yet none seen could hold a candle to that of Lord Rochester, and though I nodded my head and greeted them all on the occasion of their noticing my meager form, only two, both gentlemen, deigned greet me in return. For the ladies, it seemed, I was beneath notice. Lastly to enter was my dear Lord Rochester, whose eyes swept the room, passing over me, to find Miss Blanche, to whose company he did meet with a brilliant smile.

The talk was mostly of nonsense, though I admit I listened far too well to my master's conversations to pay much attention to my book. His every attention was on Miss Blanche, so courteous, but I could not shut out their conversation.

Inuyasha made his entrance, and I was immensely proud of my pupil who stood tall like a gentleman and who recited his lessons to those in attendance. Miss Blanche said in a voice so sickly sweet it was like to damage the pancreas, "Rochester, what do you mean by keeping this precious little thing? It was my understanding you could not stand children."

"It is true I have little patience for them, but I owe this lad's father a debt and so I keep him," he answered.

My mind railed at his answer. "No," thought I, "This is a man who lives by his family's creed: he would never forsake the boy and because he is family he must love him in some fashion, it is in his blood."

"Why not send him away to school? He is quite past the age for needing a nurse and he must be much underfoot," she asked.

"Therein lies the beauty of being little at home: I am not here to be troubled," he said. Inuyasha's eyes met mine and I saw the hurt in them. I held out my arms and he made his way to me.

"Besides, the lad has a governess," the Colonel spoke up.

"Governess? Is she still here?" Miss Blanche looked about the room and feigned surprise upon sight of me. "Oh, there she sits, skulking in the window seat. Such a plain, Quaker-like girl that I admit she escaped my notice. She may easily find another situation. Rochester tell me you do not mean to keep a governess hereabouts. My mother shall lecture you plainly on their many faults. Shall you not, Mama?"

"What? What do you say, my treasure?" asked Mrs. Ingram.

"We were talking of governesses."

"Oh, heavens! Speak not to me of governesses! I have suffered beyond all words for their litany of sins. I tell you, Rochester, they are a grasping, devious, lazy lot! They know but little of what they profess to teach and cause only upset in the quiet nature of the home. Tell me you are not considering hiring one!"

Mr. Ingram took that moment to whisper in his wife's ear something that was surely a caution for came her reply, "So what if she is here! I declare it shall do the maid good to hear it so she knows there are those on to her plots."

In all this time I sat there and bore these pointed barbs and arrows with my head high and my countenance unaffected, reading and rereading the same sentence in my primer while stroking Inuyasha's hair. I had expected Lord Rochester to come to my aid, but now there was a great deal about the man that I questioned. I did not think I knew him at all for the character of the man I had known these past months at Thornfield was much unlike this fractious, rude man here before me. Perhaps he had played apart with me, had toyed with a mouse as a cat will before violently consuming it. Did he know then, of my tender feelings and had he sought to mock me? Or was he acting for these people instead? I was so greatly confused and my heart ached for want of the truth.

Blanche was not a woman who could bear not being in the spotlight, such was apparent as she quickly tired of her game of kicking the dog in the grey dress and offered to play for the group, to which those in attendance took up cheers. She sat at her instrument and played and sang a Schubert, then a Pinto, then more that I was not acquainted with. Her voice was strong and boisterous, with fine clarity of sound. She had clearly been taught as she showed the benefits of such tutelage in every succinct consonant and every well-formed vowel, even in her ornamentation. I listened and had never felt so common in my life. This instrument of mine for which I had developed a pride most especially since my master's interest in it was course and vulgar compared to hers.

I rose and sought exit as she played and all seemed occupied, leaving Inuyasha behind. I made my way to the stair and discovered that my slipper's ties had come undone; I bent to retie them. When I rose, I encountered my master, standing there so close our breath mingled.

"Why did you not approach me this evening?" he asked.

I gave him a look of annoyance, as if I should cross into the company of gentleman and ladies and not draw scrutiny, but answered, "You seemed much engaged. I would not have wished to disturb you."

"Where do you go?" he asked.

"To bed, sir."

"You will come back to the room. It is yet early."

"But I am tired, sir."

His knuckle found my chin and lifted it to the meager light of the stair, examining my face. "And a little depressed. So much so that a few more words will bring tears to these eyes—indeed, they are swimming in the liquid now. And you are paler than you were a month ago. If I had time, I would know what this was about, Miss Higurashi. As it is… Go. Find your bed, but I warn you: as long as my guests are here you will be in attendance. Do you understand?"

I nodded, tears falling over my cheeks. "Yes, sir."

"Good night, my—," he stopped, swallowed, and abruptly released me.

I hurried to my chamber, sending Myoga down to fetch Inuyasha, and, having hastened to bed, promptly cried myself to sleep.

…..


	9. The Song Of Her Heart

Chapter 9

The next day was I thus as before in attendance for the evening with the esteemed people of Lord Rochester's party. This evening I found myself uniformly ignored and sat quietly in my perch overhearing entirely too much of the over-bright flirtations of Lord Rochester and Miss Blanche. A fool could see there was no real affection between them yet there was much show of it. If pretense and falseness were the stuff of sophistication, I swore to myself I wanted none of it. I am not a creature built for artifice but solely for truth: truth of word, truth of feeling, truth of deed.

It was understood it was a well-made match for they had beauty between them and though she had little money he was rich as Midas and the servants gossiped of nothing else. Inuyasha, as a boy, thankfully thought little of the match and even held the rather insightful worry that Miss Blanche would see him sent away to school where he might scarcely see his beloved older brother but once a year. He was readily spoiled on this new continued presence of his "Sess" and despaired of him going away again, a sentiment I felt keenly and so did what I could to show the boy love while we were both still together.

After his lessons with the sword, I would take him out on the grounds and run and play with him till we landed in a tumbled heap. Again, I had the sensation that I was being watched, but dismissed it for how could that be with a house full of guests at their own amusements and the servants busy attending them? Inuyasha was with his nurse tonight, as I expected would be the normal course of events until the party moved on to another location.

I was roused from my reverie by the pronouncement of my name by my master. I looked up at his figure standing by the fire: tall and fitted throughout with lean muscle, he cut a dashing figure in his formalwear and the silver of his hair and the gold of his eyes gleamed in the firelight. He looked at me expectantly until he realized I had not heard a word of his question; thus was it repeated. "Will you not be persuaded to sing for us, Miss Higurashi? I have full boasted of your voice to my friends here and they are impatient to hear you."

I was acutely embarrassed to be thus thrust to the center of attention and all too aware of the morbidity of one such as myself singing for gentry when it was not my employment. Still, I knew I could not refuse so I asked, "What shall I sing, sir?"

"Sing us that little folktale you provided upon your interview with me."

I bowed my head and closed my eyes so as not to see the faces of those people who seemed more eager to hear me shame myself than to provide them with music. I took a deep calming breath and sang with good volume and composed presence the story of the red string of fate. Incredibly, as I finished my song, it was to great applause and cheers, especially from the men in attendance, who all seemed to look at me quite differently, though I could not imagine why. I felt a pride in my voice then to be respected so by those who were familiar with finer performances than the songs of the inn and public house that I had known. I surmised from their usual petty ways that they would not easily do so for one not of their ilk and yet still they cheered sincerely. I modestly curtsied, bowing my head.

Miss Blanche gave me a look that could have surely stripped the varnish from the furniture and interrupted calls of an encore by sitting down at the pianoforte and singing herself. The crowd quieted and turned to listen to their queen, mollifying her for a time: all but one, who yet stared at me as I resumed my place in the window with hot eyes such as he had possessed the night he played Beethoven for me, something I could not understand and tried my best not to, for the only conclusions my mind would draw were surely impossible and a detriment to my sanity.

When I was finally, blessedly in my bed, I had trouble finding sleep. When at last I fell into repose, I had a curiously vivid dream which I remember in startling clarity to this day. I was sitting beneath a pear tree in the orchard, singing to myself and smelling the sweet blossoms that sprinkled me as the gentle wind blew through the boughs when I saw the figure of my master come gliding dreamlike to me. His progress, as always, displayed his natural grace and economy of movement and his eye was fixed on my own intently. I watched him come and when he was before me watched yet as he lowered his hand to help me up.

Standing, he pressed his position such that my back was against the trunk of the tree and his person quite near to touching at my front. I felt no fear as his gaze found my lips and whereupon his face descended to press his own lips to mine. We kissed then, a glorious, sweet kiss that curled my toes in my slippers and bade me bring my arms about his neck, which, doing, his arms moved to encircle me. When at last he broke the kiss, his mouth moved along my jaw to my ear and he whispered, "Love me, Kagome."

I opened my eyes and saw the break of daylight through the curtains. Sighing at the fancy of my unconscious mind, I readied myself for the day.

….

Every night for a week I thusly entertained the group lodged at Thornfield, and every night did Miss Blanche's rancor grow. She never did allow an encore, to which I was content, and every night my master fixed me with those burning, golden orbs as everyone turned to her as she scrambled to regain their attention. And still, every night did my dream lover visit in the same manner urging an emotion from me that had long since come to pass.

And so found me tonight asked again to sing. Miss Blanche had truly had her fill of this pastime and sought to correct what she saw as a great transgression on my part. As voices rang with cheers of "Sing, Miss Higurashi!," Miss Blanche spoke up regally with, "I should like to make a request! Sing for me a Fanny Mendelssohn!"

"I am sorry, but I know none."

She named another composer.

"No," I answered.

Another and another, the answer the same. "Surely you can sing other than folk songs! Can you sing something in French? German? No?" she queried.

"I do know a Gaelic song," said I.

The Colonel was impressed. "You know Gaelic, truly?"

"I should hardly know the language as a whole, though I do know the meaning of the words in the story."

"Another folk song after all!" bemoaned Miss Blanche.

"It is said to be a fairy-song," I said.

There was a clamor of excitement as this idea was passed around and it was decided that they greatly wanted to hear this fairy-song. I noticed Lord Rochester said nothing but instead looked at me most penetratingly.

I explained the story first so they might better appreciate the tone of the music. A young, orphaned maiden flees her hateful guardian who greatly oppressed her and runs into the woods. There she finds a man, a prince, fallen from his horse and injured of ankle. She agrees to help the prince if he allows her entrance to his home for a meal. He does and decides to divert himself with her company for a time. She falls in love with him, but he chooses instead to propose to a woman of known family and money, breaking the girl's heart. She runs outside and cries to the heavens for help, rousing her love as he watches her from the door. To her great surprise, there appears a man and woman, royalty of the fae, who tell her she is their daughter and that she may come with them to Avalon and be healed of her heartache, where she may find a noble husband more worthy of her heart. Her love cries out to her not to go, but she sees he is only moved because he knows her to be so well connected and not because he loves her any better so she goes with her parents and leaves the man, who marries the woman he had chosen instead and leads a dreary, lonely life learning the hard lesson to weigh the demands of his heart above the demands of status while the princess finds true happiness with one who loves her for who she is.

Having finished the tale, I commenced singing: it was truly the most difficult piece I knew and full it was with violent highs and stirring lows full of raw feeling, of great love and great pain. My eyes remained open and I sang to my master, letting the music ebb and flow from me, feeling the passion of my tale, which I realized as I voiced the ancient words was mine own, piquant and vibrant. I stretched out my arms in entreaty with the music as the woman begged her love to reconsider, to love her as she loved him. Soon, I ended the song and breathed deeply. I heard the ruffle of handkerchiefs as the ladies dried their eyes. I knew my own face was wet but I left it unaddressed. I curtsied and bid the room good night, making the excuse that I had tired myself. I left to applause and cheering and one set of furious eyes.

I had made it to the first landing when I heard him call my name from below. I turned to ascend the next set of stairs and somehow he was before me. I startled and backed away from him in confusion and fright.

"How did you—?"

I was interrupted by his own question: "Where did you learn that song?"

I blinked. Surely there must be some explanation for his standing before me, merely did it elude me. I answered, "From the same traveling merchant which I learned the story of the red string of fate."

"I would have his name."

Taken aback by his harsh tone, I said, "The innkeeper called him 'Gancomer' though in his peculiar way he bid me call him 'Father' and so I did."

He bore a look of great shock and repeated, "Gancomer, you say?"

"That is him. Do you know him, perchance?"

"He is a man of great influence. I have never met him, but…you say he had you call him 'Father?'"

"An idiosyncrasy, to be sure, but one I saw no harm in indulging."

A bitter laugh. "No, you wouldn't." Then he grabbed my upper arms fiercely and pushed me against the cold wall. He looked into my eyes and there seemed a desperation to them. "You will not go outside by yourself any longer," he ordered.

"I am outside most days. There is no danger. What brings this strange edict?"

"Promise me you will not call for them. I would have your word."

"Call for whom? Sir, you frighten me!"

"For your parents. Promise me you will not go outside and call for them."

"Little good it would do me, sir, for they are dead." Perhaps he had been into his wine quite more tonight than I thought.

"Then it will be easy for you to swear."

"Alright, alright; I relent, sir. You have my word I will not go outside and call for those long dead."

He released a rush of breath in a hearty sigh. "Good." He kissed my brow. "Good." And again. I trembled at his nearness, at this new intimacy with him, no matter his current mental state. My body thrummed with awareness of his own and I felt myself licked by flames of some fierce desire to hold him close. He pulled away so I could see his eyes and there again was that ribbon of crimson in the light of the chandelier but he was not looking to my eyes, but rather to my lips. I felt a keen anticipation as I wondered what he would do next. His head descended and I forgot to breathe.

And then it happened: the barest touch of his lips against mine like the beat of the fragile, painted wings of a butterfly, then again as his bottom lip dragged against mine own: my dream come alive. I wanted so desperately to throw my arms about his neck and kiss him back but I was terrified I would only wake him from this delirium and he would cease.

And then came a call, "Rochester! Where the devil have you gone?" It was the Colonel, his friend.

He separated from me and stared into my eyes. He placed a finger to the lips he had just kissed and hissed a quiet, "Shhh" from his own. He called, "I'll be down presently! Certainly you do not pine for my absence!"

"Indeed not, but Miss Blanche is inconsolable without her favorite pet. Do come soon, man!" And with that the Colonel walked back into the drawing room, closing the door.

"You will come to sing again tomorrow?" he asked.

"Do you mean to marry Miss Ingram, sir?" I had composed myself in the time they spoke and dismissed the preceding as madness brought on by a surfeit of drink.

His brow wrinkled. "What the devil does that have to do with your continued presence?"

"Should you say it should take place soon?"

"Yes, blast it! Why do you ask?"

"For when you do take her to wife, Inuyasha will be sent away to school and I to another position."

"I suppose such is the case," he relented impatiently, though it caused that pang in my heart again.

"I shall post an advertisement directly then."

"No! No, you shall not!"

"But, sir! I must have somewhere to go when the time comes."

"And you shall!" he answered gruffly. He thought for a moment. "Leave the matter to me; I shall make inquiries and find you a suitable situation."

"I do not wish to trouble you, sir."

"There is no trouble. I merely mean to look out for your safety and well-being as payment for your excellent care of my ward thus far. There is no telling what you attract with an advertisement."

"Thank you, sir."

"Yes, yes, fine." He hefted a large sigh. "Now, may I expect you tomorrow?" he asked gently.

"Yes, sir"

His hand cupped my cheek tenderly and he gazed into my eyes. "Off to bed, little fairy, to the land of dreams."

….


	10. Enter The Gypsy

A/N: Haven wrote in her review of Chapter 9 that the use of "Rochester" was disturbing to her reading and this I can understand. It was something I thought over quite a bit when forming my story, but ultimately decided his name was Sesshoumaru Taisho, Earl of Rochester. Thus, as the peerage was known by their title and not by their surname, he is therefore Mr. Rochester or, rather more properly, Lord Rochester. To his peers, then, he is simply "Rochester." I took a great liberty calling him "Mr." and I was greatly unsettled on it. I have decided to change it retroactively and henceforth to Lord Rochester. In the book, as far as I recall, his title is never mentioned so this is of my own invention. There will come a time when she refers to him by his first name, but that is not just yet.

Twistidcandi wrote that she thought I had better to write the story in more modern English. This, I'm afraid, would betray my object, for I had hoped to adequately learn to emulate this style of story and cadence of speech so as to write an historical romance novel apart from this fandom, which, having completed, I entertain a vain hope to send to publishing houses. So, you see, this is a writing exercise for me, a way for me to build skill so I might write something of my own.

I wished to take this opportunity to thank those of you reading this my second work and especially to thank those of you who have been encouraging me with reviews. It has been my delight to read them and I do hope to keep your interest in the chapters yet to come as they shall start my divergence from the book and more into fairy tale. This next chapter has caused me much anxiety, but more on that later.

On with the show…

…..

Chapter 10

The next morning Lord Rochester was summoned on some business into town and the assembled personages ensconced themselves in the drawing room for the weather was dreary and wet. Indeed, it was so much so that their much looked forward to outing to a gypsy camp which had settled near the Hay Lane was postponed. After lessons, I reported as I was told to the party and sat with Inuyasha as my companion in our usual spot in the window seat making up stories to tell each other while we mostly ignored the talk of those others gathered.

The sound of a carriage approaching caused Inuyasha to shout, "He is back! Sess is back!"

This attracted the attention of those others and Miss Blanche Ingram rose to come to the window. In her desire to see out, she imposed upon my person to the point where I was forced to shrink back out of her way. "You miserable donkey! How like you to bray with misinformation! It is not Lord Rochester, for he rode out this morning on his horse and with Pilot, too. This is but someone else." She turned from him and stomped in her elegant way back to her place by the fire.

I rolled my eyes discreetly at my charge and he brightened, giggling conspiratorially. We watched as a fashionable but foreign-looking gentleman with straight, black hair kept long in the style of my master and his ward disembarked from the carriage and entered the house. There was then the sound of some parleying in the hall before he was shown into the drawing room with us.

He greeted the party, "Hello, then! I am an old friend of Lord Rochester's come from abroad and since he is away, I shall encroach on your party here, if you don't mind."

As the man was quite well dressed and spoke in a fine voice with hardly an accent, the group accepted him gladly as one of their own. He seemed just a little over Lord Rochester's age, somewhere between 30 and 40. Through snippets of the conversation, I heard the name Hikaru and of Japan and the city Kyoto. So this gentleman was from my master's homeland. I wondered what news he would bring. He seemed in pleasant spirits as he played and flirted with the company so I was sure it could be nothing grave.

The hour drew later and we were interrupted by the footman, Sam, recently hired to attend to the many guests, who came to Mr. Eshton's chair and said something to him quietly from which I only heard "quite troublesome."

"Tell the baggage she shall be put in the stocks is she does not quit the place immediately!" said Mr. Eshton.

The young ladies were all atwitter and began begging and pleading to see her.

"By Jove!" exclaimed the Colonel. "What luck that we should have been put from our mission to see the gypsies and yet does one come here to this very place to tell our fortunes! I say we allow her entry."

Mrs. Ingram tried to reason that the woman was not to be trusted, but there was no one to listen to her. Sam was sent off to bring the Mother. He returned shortly saying, "She demands she be placed in a room where she may deliver her proclamations in privacy away from the vulgar masses."

"There, now, put her in the library! I mean to have my fortune read away from prying eyes and ears," announced Miss Blanche.

"I shall go first, to ensure there is no danger," spoke the Colonel.

"I—I'm afraid she was very specific about who she would entertain: only ladies, but then only such ladies that were yet young and single."

"Aha! The woman shows she has taste!" pronounced Henry Lynn.

Miss Blanche stood, throwing back her shoulders and lifting her chin even higher than its usual placement. "I shall go then," she said, with the air of a virgin sacrifice, and made her way to the library.

It was some minutes, more than fifteen, I should say, before she returned. She wore a mantle of pride and pronounced to all that she was a real, true gypsy, ghastly in appearance, who had thusly read her palm. She haughtily reminded everyone that this was all just an illusion and not to take any serious excitement in it. Thereafter, she took a book and sat herself in a chair in front of me and though I watched her with interest never once did she turn the page and increasingly did her countenance appear unsettled. Clearly she was not one to consider her own advice.

The Misses Eshton and Miss Mary Ingram declared they must all go together and set forth for the library. Their visit was quite a bit more disturbed than Miss Blanche's had been: heard were bouts of giggles and shrieking and they sounded quite diverted. By twenty minutes, they came running into the drawing room.

"She knew us entirely!"

"Even to the contents of our private chambers!"

"And of things that happened as children!"

"And knew, she did, of the ones foremost in our hearts and minds and whispered their very names in our ears!"

The young men were much interested in this last and tried their best to wheedle out the information but were met with profound blushes and sputterings.

Amidst this clamor, a throat clearing near to me was heard and I looked up to find Sam looking to me. "If you please, Miss, the crone said there was still one young, single lady in the house and said she will not leave until she sees her. I can only think she means you. Will you go?"

"Of course," I said, and rose to follow him out. He told me he would stay close in case I became frightened, but I bid him return to the kitchen for I was unafraid. And so I was, though I did feel an excitement at the prospect of not only deserting my company but also to hear what this woman would have to say.

I entered the room and saw her there in a chair in the corner, close to the fire yet shielded from most of its light. She wore a red, hooded cloak and a black, broad-brimmed gypsy hat, tight about her face was a striped scarf, she was leaning over a small black book, which might have been a prayer book, and whispering the words as old ladies are in the habit of doing. I came to the fire and warmed my hands, awaiting her, for it was cold in my window seat in the drawing room and far, too, from the fire.

She closed her book and slowly looked up at me and I saw a much-weathered face, almost masculine in its appearance of jowls, with a great, hairy mole on her chin; her eyes were cast in shadow by her hat, though they glittered up at me; I could not discern the color.

"So you wish your fortune told, my dear?"

"If you are one to do so. I would tell you I have no faith in your art."

"Ha! I expected as much from you, child. You have an impudence to you."

"As you say."

"Why do you not tremble?" she asked.

"I am not cold"

"What do you not pale?"

"I am not sick."

"Why do you not seek out my answers?"

"I am not silly."

She snickered then and stared off into the fire. Long moments she looked there before pronouncing in a meticulous manner, "I say you are cold, you are sick, and you are silly."

"Then prove so," I dared her.

"And so I shall. You are cold because you are alone; you want of human contact and companionship to warm you. You are sick because the best of feelings, the highest and sweetest given to man, keeps far away from you while it burns yet in your breast. You are silly because you have the means to secure great happiness but you do not reach for it, rather allowing convention to guide you."

"Such could be said of anyone in a dependent position in a large estate such as I am."

"Not of anyone, but of _you_. You are in a unique situation."

"How is being a governess unique? There are employed thousands of us throughout England."

"There are not one in a thousand in your position. If you would but know it, you are within a very small distance to your true happiness. Fate has vouchsafed it for you and I knew this before I even entered this house for it is profound. You need only stand and pluck the fruit from the tree."

"Is that not what the Serpent told Eve?"

"Ha! So quick a tongue you have! Well, then, let me see your palm and I will speak more plainly."

"And I should cross it with silver, then, I suppose?"

"But of course."

I handed her a shilling. She took it and placed it in a worn child's stocking at her waist. She took my hand and frustratingly said, "Who can tell a thing from this hand? It is too fine, too young, scarcely a line from which to divine. Let me instead see the face! All can be seen from the eyes, mouth, and brow!"

"Finally you speak sense to which I might agree," I said as I knelt before her.

"I wonder with what thoughts and feelings you came to me tonight, what answers you hoped to hear. Where does your mind flutter as you sit there in yonder room amongst those that pay you no mind and little attentions and, I daresay, one who wishes you gone entirely?"

"I feel tired at times, yet am I never sad."

"You have some secret hope, then? Some dream that buoys your thoughts?"

"My only hopes are to serve my master and charge well and to one day have saved sufficient money to open a small school where I might teach."

"Bah! Such is not a dream that entreats the soul to soar! When you sit there in your window seat (see, I know your habits)—,"

"You have them by speaking with the servants, Mother."

"Such a quick wit have you! As I was saying, then, as you sit there amongst those in the next room, where besides that fleeting idea of a school does your mind settle? What face do you study above all others? Whose features do you wish to see most?"

"I examine all faces and all features."

"No, Miss, I know you single out one, or mayhaps of late it be two."

"And so shall I when the conversation moves in an interesting direction."

"And what story is of most interest to your gentle ear?"

"There is little choice! They speak so much of pairing and matrimony I feel I sit in a lecture on animal husbandry."

"And you do not approve of this single-mindedness?"

"Surely, I care little; it is nothing to me."

"Nothing to you? When a ripe, young, vivacious lady of means and family does smile and whisper such entreaties into the eye and ear of a gentleman you—,"

"I what, Mother?"

"You know…and perhaps think well of."

"And yet I say I do not know the gentlemen here. I have spoken barely three words together with the lot of them. As to thinking well of them, I have seen that some are respectable, though not all. Some are older with a keen eye yet and some younger, prettier; all are well dressed and well spoken though some it can be seen paid little attention to their lessons for their opinions are poorly informed."

"Not know them? How can you say such? I venture you would not say so of the master of this house!"

"Lord Rochester is not at home."

Another bark of laughter. "What sophism you display! What an ingenious quibble! Your Lord Rochester this day went to Millcote on business and will return anon, but does that yet strike him from the face of notice?"

"I can hardly conceive what Lord Rochester has to do with any of this."

"Because, child, I spoke of ladies smiling into the welcoming eye of gentlemen. Has not your Lord Rochester received such smiles, such adulations and attentions?"

"He has a right to partake of any society he chooses," I replied cooly.

"There is no question of his right, but certainly you have noticed how eagerly he welcomes this company, how he hangs on her every syllable and sigh with great affection?"

"Your art is failing you, for I tell you there is no great affection between the two."

"So! You have paid attention!"

I was silent.

"You can see, though, how they will be happily wed, then, have you not?"

"Ha! Another black mark, Mother!"

"What the devil have you seen, then?" Her voice seemed for but a moment to lower, but I dismissed it as her upset.

"Never mind. I came to hear my own fortune and now you are all about Lord Rochester. Do, please, divine, if you can."

"Your fortune is unclear: there are such differences in your face. I tell you again that the answer lies in whether you will yet extend your hand to take what is so clearly there for you. See there, now, those eyes—such a uniqueness about them! The color is one of daydreams and great wishes, the shape is soft and full of feeling, fine, long lashes there be, indicating capacity for great affection, the lid is not fully held back—past pain and recent sorrow there lie. The eye is favorable. The mouth is one that should never tell a lie, accustomed to seriousness where instead it longs to pronounce the mind's deepest secret and laugh with joy. I can see the echo of your smile here and know that though you smile and laugh but rarely, does it yet transform your face from its seeming plainness to a show of magnificent beauty. You are also a singer, child, and if you could but see your face when you sing, you would never again think of yourself as anything but wondrous. Indeed, your voice alone has the power to captivate and ensorcel. That feature, too, is propitious."

Her words, her acclamation of me, wove me into a dreamlike state. I felt an unreality to these moments but I was snared by her words and confused, too, by their meaning. Could she really know me? It was as though she had sat on my shoulder these months and knew all my secrets.

She continued, "Yet stands the barrier of the forehead. It shows a seat of pride and intelligence that will not allow the body to yield if the cost is the soul. It watches as the play is enacted around it and seeks to find some explanation that will not come. This pride there, it says you are a strong woman, an independent, full of feeling, yes, but not without reason. This reason demands a righteousness of behavior, a goodness in word and deed, and will not allow you to falter. No matter the temptation, it remains ever the guiding light of your conscience."

"Well said, forehead: your declaration shall be respected. I have formed my plans—right plans I deem them—and in them I have attended to the claims of conscience, the counsels of reason. I know how soon youth would fade and bloom perish, if, in the cup of bliss offered, but one dreg of shame, or one flavor of remorse were detected; and I do not want sacrifice, sorrow, dissolution—such is not my taste. I wish to foster, not to blight—to earn gratitude, not to wring tears of blood—no, nor of brine: my harvest must be in smiles, in endearments, in sweet—That will do. I think I rave in a kind of exquisite delirium. I should wish now to protract this moment _ad infinitum_; but I dare not. So far I have governed myself thoroughly. I have acted as I inwardly swore I would act; but further might try me beyond my strength. Rise, Miss Higurashi: leave me; the play is played out."

I woke as from a deep slumber, my lids blinked heavily before focusing on the figure ahead of me. There at the end, the voice had changed, slowly becoming one I knew as well as my own. I stood and poked the fire. A hand grasped the scarf and pulled it tighter around the face and there I noticed the hand: not the gnarled hand of a wizened old woman but the large, elegant hand of one most dear to me. Indeed, there on his hand was his ring, one which I had seen hundreds of times before.

The hand stopped tugging and instead smoothed back the hat and hood, parted the scarf and removed a mask. "Do you know me now, Kagome?"

"Sir! What strangeness took your mind to do such as this!"

"But well done, don't you agree?"

"You surely riled the ladies."

"But not you?"

"You did not play the part of a gypsy with me."

"And what character was I? My own?"

"No, something else…You have been trying to draw me out—or in; you spoke nonsense to me to encourage me to speak nonsense."

"Do you forgive me, Kagome?"

"I should not know, sir. I must think and reflect. Have I been made a fool?"

"No, Kagome. You were ever on alert."

"I would not be so sure," I mumbled. I smiled at him then.

"And what means that smile?"

"Wonder, sir. You spun a good web and I am glad I kept myself as well as I did," I said as I moved toward the door.

"Where do you go?"

"To bed, sir. It is late and I have had much excitement. Oh! Do you know there is a man here for you?"

"A man? No! Who is he?"

"He calls himself 'Hikaru' and says he has come from Kyoto."

"No…Hikaru…" My master, normally possessed of pale as moonlight skin, went full white before my eyes.

"Lord Rochester!" I ran to him. "Are you unwell? What pains you?"

"You offered me your shoulder once, may I have it?" he asked desperately.

"Of course and my arm—here! Let me get you to a chair."

"Tell me, Kagome, little friend, since he came, do they speak of me?"

"What? No, sir, only for him to say he was your friend."

"If they all came in here and denounced me, what would you do?"

"I should throw them from the house, as I was able."

"And if they shunned me and forever kept me from their company, would you follow suit?"

"Never, sir!"

"And if they called you names, vile, vicious things for siding with me?"

"I shouldn't have occasion to hear it, but I shouldn't care in any event. They matter not at all to me, only you."

"Only me," he said in a breathy voice full of wonder of which I knew not what to make.

"Go then, to this man Hikaru and whisper in his ear that I am here and will see him. Escort him then here and head off to bed."

I did as I was told and when I opened the door to admit Hikaru, I saw my master was once again composed. I went to bed, but I lay awake worrying for him until I heard his voice behind the wall: gaily did he tell Hikaru where his room was and wish him a good night. My worry relieved, I slipped promptly into sleep.

…

A/N: Dear reader, I admit to much anxiety concerning this chapter. It is my favorite in the book as I find Lord Rochester infinitely romantic in his need to ferret out her feelings and, indeed, it is where he decides his intentions must be honorable. (I am always appalled when film adaptations cut this scene!) It is also, in my opinion, the finest written passage to be found between the covers, full of flowery prose, deep angst and whimsy. I thought of simply quoting Miss Bronte, for I felt it unfair to try to cheaply imitate what I feel is her best work but I felt that would ill serve her or myself. So instead, I, ever trepidatious, wrote my own summary of that fine chapter and only quoted sparingly and of my favorite moment: his revelation. I hope in doing so I have not offended any who know the beauty of the original and may see my paltry attempt as anything disrespectful. I hope you enjoyed the treat of this extra long chapter!

….


	11. An Attack In The Night

….

Chapter 11

I awoke to a great shouting from above me: a sound which chilled the blood. Ghastly and dark, almost growling, which I was sure echoed the full of the house.

I heard a male voice scream in Japanese, "Help! Help! Sesshoumaru, for God's sake help me! Lord Sesshoumaru!"

A door opened and someone ran, alighting the stair and rushing above me. There was sound of a struggle with more growling, then a loud thump.

Thence came the sound of loud weeping.

Roused from my sleep, and, indeed, from my now much familiar dream of myself in the arms of my master, I hastened to find my robe and then to unbolt and open my door. I saw and heard the bulk of the party, similarly out of bed and raised in a commotion over what could be the matter. I was certain all that had been said had been just above my room and therefore the others should not have heard it, let alone understood it.

My master came then, from the third floor stair, and hushed up the matter, bidding everyone return to their beds as the commotion had been only a servant's nightmare. Slowly they returned to their rooms and I shut my door on them and prepared to return myself to bed.

I had just settled back under the sheets whence came a persistent, light knocking on my door. There stood he: my dream lover and master, though I could see in the sparse light of his candle that he was much unsettled.

"Kagome, you have offered your help before and I say that now I need you again: indeed, you are the only one I trust. Will you come?" he whispered urgently.

"But of course, sir!"

"Have you smelling salts and a sponge? Good, gather these."

I did as I was told and returned to the door.

"Are you sickened much by the sight of blood?"

"I shouldn't know, sir, but I should think not."

He took my hand and led me down the gallery hall and to the third floor staircase. It was full dark in the hall yet from the room Mr. Poole did frequent there shined a dim glow and to there did he take me. Inside, I could see a curious second door which had before been covered by the tapestry now secured to the side. He left me at the door and went to the room, speaking in low tones I could not hear before exiting and locking the door behind him. He bid me come to the other side of the bed and there in a chair was the man Hikaru, who was bleeding through the bandages on his shoulder and side. He was murmuring to himself.

My master took my sponge to a bowl of water and wiped the blood that fell from beneath the bandages. He instructed me to do the same as the bleeding came and to revive him as needed with the salts.

"Hikaru, stop your words at once! They do you little good and I will not be held responsible for your fate should you continue speaking. Understand me? Not a word!"

He gave me a lingering look before saying, "I go now to bring a surgeon. Stay you with him and keep him conscious and still; I will return as soon as I can. You are safe here with the door bolted; do not think to alert anyone. We must keep our guests in ignorance or all is lost. I wish so fervently I did not have to ask this of you, my dear friend, but as I have said, you are the only one I trust." And then he left us, closing the door behind him.

What seemed like hours did I attend the man in silence. It was cold in the room and the only light came from the low candle on the table with the basin of water. Knowing the monster, Mr. Poole, yet stayed with only a wall and a door between us, I admit I was much afraid, especially seeing the hard evidence of his violence here on this man's person.

At length he spoke, "This is my fault, you know. Had I not imbibed so much throughout the day, these wounds would be nothing to me," he spoke through his gasping breaths.

"Please, sir, you were urged not to speak. I should not like you to suffer for the effort."

"It is a shame, you know… I see how he looks at you. 'Twould be a great match, indeed: a demon lord and a princess of faerie. But it cannot be."

"Sir, please, I beg you: you speak but nonsense in your pained state. Rest, won't you? I am here and your friend will bring the surgeon soon." I hoped it was soon. I was beginning to tremble in my cold and fear in this place and prayed for my master to hurry.

He gave me a look then, most penetratingly and I was discomfited. "You do not know then? Perhaps that is all for the better."

I took the sponge and wetted it, wrung it out and mopped his damp brow. "Shhh. Be still," I entreated. And he was.

It seemed another hour of long waiting before I heard soft steps on the stair and I sighed with relief. The door was then opened and I stepped back from my patient to allow the surgeon to examine him.

"So he has been stabbed here; yes, it is quite deep but seems to be healing nicely. This wound at his shoulder, however, God! The flesh is torn! This is a bite!" exclaimed the surgeon.

"He said he would drink my blood from my body!" moaned Hikaru.

"And your own fault, too, for coming here at night and alone. I told you I would accompany you in the morning, but that did not satisfy, did it? And see what you have wrought with your foolishness!" said Lord Rochester.

"I am sorry, Lord Sesshoumaru!" he said in Japanese, to which I had now sufficient understanding as to interpret.

"As well you should be!" he responded in kind.

"Come, let us get him down to the carriage and away before the house awakens," said Lord Rochester in English.

My master and the surgeon aided Hikaru's steps and soon we were outside. Lord Rochester went to the door of the carriage and whispered harshly in Japanese, which I was able to barely discern, "Do not think to come here again. You have seen him and settled your mind. It does not do to excite him. I thank you for the intelligence you provided with regard to the girl. I trust you will keep what you have learned in confidence."

"Will you tell her, then?" Hikaru asked.

"No, there is no occasion to do so." He then slapped the carriage and said, "Away, then!" and the driver took off.

He turned to me and seemed to remember my presence. Then, smiling, he said, "What would I do without you, Kagome?"

I smiled brightly at the praise, happy to be of help to my master, happy more to be valued in his eyes. And then did I recall that he was to marry soon and I was to leave and my face fell, so, too, did my eyes as I looked at the gravel of the drive. "What would he do without me, indeed," thought I. "Soon he will be without me and what then?"

My master's knuckle found my chin and raised it so our eyes met. "You were a great help to me tonight, Kagome. Tell, me, did Hikaru say aught during the time I was away?"

"Nothing but nonsense, sir. He must surely have been in great pain."

"And so it must have been." He looked at me for a long moment in that way he used to before the party came and I felt a pang of nostalgia for those times. He seemed to notice my shivering then for he said, "But you are cold! It is early yet. Hurry back to bed and catch what sleep you may. Do not worry yourself for promptness for your pupil's sake for I say you have earned the extra rest. Good night, Kagome, my little friend, and put the events of tonight from your mind."

"But sir, will you find your bed as well? I should say you had less rest than I."

"No. I shall not be able to sleep after this excitement."

"Shall I keep you company then, so you do not brood?"

"Sweet Kagome, you possess the finest and best of hearts. Come, then, walk with me a moment and let us view the sunrise in the orchards." He took my hand in his arm as if I were a lady and led me through the spring-kissed boughs of soft blossoms. The wind picked up in a gentle breeze and sent them flying around us as in my dream.

He led me to a tree, and, also as in my dream, situated me between himself and the trunk. I felt a giddiness of spirit to live this scene which I so often found in sweet repose. I thought to pinch myself to test it, but decided the cost too great to find out I yet dreamed; instead I watched him intently and felt my heart beat in my breast all the faster for the excitement.

"How find you this sunrise, Kagome?"

Of the twin suns in his eyes were my only thoughts. "I find it spectacular, sir. My favorite of my life."

"You have had a strange night. Were you afraid to be left alone there?"

"I was much afraid of what lurked in the next room. Will Mr. Poole yet remain here at Thornfield?"

"I should say so. He serves a valuable purpose."

"But you are not safe while he remains, sir."

"Do not think on it. I can well take care of myself."

"And of the danger you perceived last evening? Does it persist?"

"Once Hikaru is safely on a boat back to Japan, I will say such is the case."

"I worry for you, sir."

"My sweet little fairy, you have no cause to worry. All will be well. If not now, then soon." He looked searchingly into my eyes and said, "You have a look like you experience a _déjà vu_. Well, then, Kagome? Have you been under these boughs with a man before?"

He had a teasing sound to his voice which gave me pause, yet I felt compelled to answer, "I have done in a dream."

"Will you not tell me of this dream? It sounds interesting."

I blushed violently and shook my head in the negative. "No, sir. The unconscious visions of a lady are not fodder for conversation."

He had the barest smirk on his face as he said, "Pity. That natural rouge you now wear most definitely piques my interest. I wonder what sort of lover a passionate woman such as you would imagine. Is he dark and handsome, thick with muscles? There! Your eye wanders to the right! I see I am wrong! How curious, then. I am perplexed, I admit, Kagome. A blonde dandy then, with feminine limbs and sweet words? No again! Please, you must tell me."

I was growing annoyed by now and showed it in the scathing look I gave him. "You mock me, Sir! Is it so impossible for someone like me to hope for a someone some day? If you repay this friendship of mine you claim to value with such teasing, I declare I will desert you and find the peace of my bed!"

His countenance was instantly contrite. "Please, my dear Kagome, I was thoughtless. I only meant to inspire you to honor me with your confidence."

"Then you have failed miserably for why would I impart confidences on someone whom would then only seek to torment me?"

His hand came to cup my cheek and his brow lowered to press to my own. "Please, I tell you I am sorry. You are all in the right and I all in the wrong. Let us be friends again, please. I cannot bear you to be cross with me."

"I think sometimes you play a game with me, sir. One to which I have not been imparted the rules."

His thumb stroked my cheek as he rubbed his face on my brow. "I must constantly remind myself how innocent you are. You are so well learned and so decided in your opinions and convictions that you seem at times much older than you truly are, more worldly. And yet you remain just a girl at the first bloom of womanhood, long ensconced in a dark tower and only recently delivered from its oppression. Fear not, my dear friend, for my time of games is near over. I, too, tire of them and I think I may yet win what I have set out to gain." He kissed my brow then and stood away from me. "Come. I would see you get some rest ere the household rises."

He escorted me to my room, my hand on his arm, and bid me goodnight as I closed the door.

…..


	12. An End To Games

…..

Chapter 12

When I awoke it was near noon and I emerged to a great packing and exodus of the gathered masses. I had from Mrs. Fairfax that Lord Rochester had departed for London on business and was not likely to return for at least a week; the party would go then to the Ingram's and continue their fun. My days while he was away were filled with time spent with Inuyasha and quiet contemplation.

One day, a fortnight after Lord Rochester had gone, I went off to Millcote on business of posting a letter to my friend Miss Temple, who I must keep reminding myself was now Mrs. Grayson. I took the shortcut home through the fields instead of by the road and so approached Thornfield from the side and made my way up the lawns. So it happened, then, that I smelled Lord Rochester's pipe tobacco from the library window and I hurried my steps to bid him welcome home.

We spent the evening talking and laughing and singing and playing as if the events of the last month had never happened. It was our same old camaraderie, which continued on for the next few weeks. Every moment I was not with Inuyasha, I was with my master, warm in his attentions as if I stood outside in the rays of the summer sun. Curiously absent during this time was talk of Miss Blanche Ingram. So, too, were there no visits to or from the lady and I thought it odd for while the journey was some miles they were both accomplished riders and could easily have made the trip. My earnest heart dared hope there had been a falling out of some kind, a stay of execution for me where I might enjoy the company of my master a little longer ere he found another beauty to settle upon.

One warm evening I was strolling in the orchard when sneaking into the sweet smell of the blossoms flowed the scent of my master's pipe tobacco. I slowed my steps and allowed his approach for I saw now from the stars in the sky I had been outside with my thoughts for some time and knew he should be missing me as I missed him.

"There you are, Miss Higurashi! I was certain you had forsaken me and run off with the baker's son from town."

"What nonsense you spout!"

"Are you happy here, Kagome? You seem to like Thornfield. I should think you should never want to leave."

"I am most happy here, sir."

"And somehow you even have developed an attachment for my ward, though he be only an orphaned bastard, and for Mrs. Fairfax that can speak little of anything but the weather and what is for dinner?"

"Shame on you, sir! Your ward, your _brother_, if you would have him, is a lovely child and cannot help his parentage. I cleave to him all the more because he and I are so similar, so unwanted in this world, though he has merits enough to recommend him. He has quite a talent for languages and he draws so well—not only that but he is possessed of a dear heart that wants only to love and be loved. If you would but grant him some of your time, you would see for yourself. And as for Mrs. Fairfax, I hold a great affection for her innocent prattlings and good nature. She also cares for you so and strives to keep a good house for you."

And so I am ashamed, Miss Higurashi! I have watched you much with the boy from the shadows and I do see this character of his you so seek to promote. Yet do I fear of losing him as I have done my other relations so I keep him far from me." He thought to himself for a moment. "You have an attachment, then for this place. You should be saddened then, to have to part from it."

I held my breath. "Must I part from it?"

"Just so, for as you have said, when I marry I will send Inuyasha away and then you shall have no charge."

I felt as though I had been dealt a kick by a horse, a harsh blow to my gut. "So you do marry Miss Ingram?"

"I mean to lead myself to the hangman's noose within the month. My business in London was to secure her a coach and prepare the particulars for the blessed event."

"I shall post an advertisement directly. May I suppose to trespass on your hospitality until I find a suitable situation elsewhere?"

"I have found you a situation. It is with a lady in Ireland for her two daughters."

"Ireland?!"

"They say the people there are quite pleasant, though I myself have little love for the country."

"But it is so far, sir! And the sea is such a barrier!"

He stopped walking at my side. "From?"

"From Thornfield. From Inuyasha. From…"

"Yes, Kagome?"

I hugged my arms to myself and stopped moving. I hung my head and the answer was wrung from my body involuntarily, against all better judgment, "From _you_."

He walked up to me and gently said, "You'll make friends easily enough in Ireland with your goodness and heart. I shouldn't worry for one meager friend."

I looked up at him with my eyes full of pain and desolation and he saw the tears streaming from my eyes. I could not speak, so he did. "I often wonder of that song you sang me when we first met, of the red string of fate. I feel as though we are tied, you and I, by this string knotted about my heart but if you go off to Ireland that the string will stretch and break and you might be free of me. I know without doubt I shall hemorrhage from the loss, but you are young and will forget me."

"I shall _never_ forget you, Sir. I _cannot_."

"But so you must, for you cannot stay."

"Then you are a fool for you enter a marriage with a woman who has no love for you, only for your pocketbook and title."

"I see no other alternative for I have a want to marry and there is no one who could love me any better than that."

"_I_ love you!" I shouted. Then immediately filled with fear and clasped my hand to my mouth.

"How is that, Kagome? I think perhaps you merely fear the change of a new life. I have seen no dewy eyes, heard no sighs for me."

"You _are_ a fool! Can you not conceive that one can burn in their heart yet conceal for all propriety and for what they know can never be! And here you mock me again when you told me before you were done with your games!"

"And so I am done, my Kagome! Tell me again that you love me. Tell me in that ardent voice full of rage and passion!"

"No, indeed, I shall never say it again! You were never my friend if you can tease me in this way!"

"Forgive me, my sweet, I selfishly wanted to hear it again for it matches the cadence of my own heart."

I backed away from him. "I had thought you above this sort of cruelty."

"Kagome, please, I would share my life with you if you'd only approach and let me."

I shook my head violently. "Your chosen wife stands between us!"

"What wife? I have no wife! There is only you if you will have me." Suddenly the wind which had hitherto blown gently came in great gusts and a dampness pervaded the air signaling the storm about to come.

"What madness is this?"

He came to me and held me in his arms though I struggled violently to be free. "I tell you, Kagome, I love you as I have never loved another. I offer you a life by my side, as my equal and mate for all eternity; all that is wanting is your consent. Please, stop your struggles; you will only hurt yourself as now that I have your love I will not relinquish you." Lightning struck the sky, thunder quick on its heels.

"Long have you had it and yet it was nothing to you before! How should I believe it is suddenly of value? And what of Miss Blanche?"

"Forgive me, my love, but the game was necessary. I have known you as my intended mate from the moment I met you in the lane; as soon as I saw your eyes did I feel the string round my heart tighten with acknowledgement. All I have done was to draw you out, as you said you suspected the night I played the gypsy for you—and, indeed, it was only for you I did it: I cared naught for the reactions of the others. I grew disconsolate that you would never feel for me what I felt for you, for you appeared always so proper, so reserved, when I wished for you to fling yourself at me with the violence of the passion I felt for you. In my desperation, I contrived of the farce with Blanche to make you see how wrong it would be for me to be with any other but you. I was sure in your jealousy you would rail at me, you would show me the depth of the feeling I thought I chanced to see at times in those ethereal eyes of yours, and then finally you sang your story to me and I had hope for the first time. So I tried with the gypsy farce, but you outplayed my hand, revealing almost nothing to me. So, you see, I had to come to you tonight as I did or you would have been content to go on as we always have, as friends, when from you I hope for something infinitely more dear."

In the fervor of his words I saw the sincerity, the veracity, for who would go to such trouble merely for a diversion. "Sir…" I was overwhelmed.

"Sesshoumaru, my love. Please, I implore you, speak my name."

"Sesshoumaru…can this be real? This feels like one of my dreams."

"Very real. Only say you will have me. Say, 'Sesshoumaru, give me my name.' Say, 'Sesshoumaru, make me your wife.'"

"Is this possible? You truly love me?"

"More than Christmas morning, more than Paris in springtime, more than my homeland, more than anyone or anything on this earth or in heaven, more than my immortal soul. Please, Kagome, give me my answer. You torture my heart as surely as if you roasted it on a spit over coals like some heathen cannibal."

I thought for long moments. Even if this be one of my dreams, the answer remained the same. "Yes, Sesshoumaru." I reached up on tiptoes and reached for the back of his neck and brought his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. "Yes." And at that moment, the storm broke and pounded down on us as the waves on the shore.

He picked me up and ran with me for the door. Once inside he kissed me fervently and said, "I have your answer, you cannot change it now it is given. You are mine, remember it. If not for the storm, I would have stayed out all night with you, my love. As it is, you must get out of these wet clothes and to a warm fire before you catch your death. Hurry, for I will not allow sniffles tomorrow as cause to stay from my company."

He kissed me once more and then I saw that Mrs. Fairfax, who looked at the pair of us with something akin to great shock, had roused from her bed. The clock in the hall was striking midnight. We ran past her like errant children, my master holding tight to my hand and not releasing me until I was to my room. He kissed me again most passionately before parting and bidding me goodnight, his hand trailing down my arm to my hand before kissing the knuckles there. He smiled a rakish smile before heading to his own chamber. With my head so full of clouds and rainbows, if it weren't for the insistent patter of the rain at my window, I should never have found sleep that night.

…


	13. Toi et Moi

Chapter 13

I woke early and dressed quickly, glanced in the mirror and did not recognize myself I was so much changed. Such is the power of great feeling, I supposed, and set about immediately to find my love. Not a moment could be spared for I had a need to find his face and discover if it had all been a dream, for my usual dream of him did not come last night. I found him in the parlor taking breakfast in his chair, but when I saw him, he moved the table from him and ran to me, gathering me in his arms in a spin and kissing me soundly. Real, after all, then! I rejoiced, throwing my arms about him and copying his movements to kiss him in return, which made him groan.

Scared I had done something wrong, I broke the kiss and pulled away as best I could in his hold, asking, "Are you well, sir? Have I done something wrong?"

He laughed at my innocence and kissed my forehead. "Oh, Kagome, no, no, you have done everything right. I was merely excited by your display of your passion. You will learn and I will be your tutor. And I thought I bid you call me by my name? You are to be my wife! Let there be no more sirs between us for we are equals of mind and heart and soul: all that matters."

"Alright…Sesshoumaru; it is habit but I will try my best. I greatly love the sound of your name on my lips."

"Not as much as I. Oh, Kagome, how well you look today! The rose blooms in your cheek and your features softened so in your happiness! I knew I loved a beauty! And are you happy, my love? Is there anything I can do for you this morning?"

"Actually, now you mention there is something. I fear Mrs. Fairfax may have formed a wrong impression of me last night. Would you mind clarifying her opinion on our situation?"

"Has she said aught to you? Or is this just because of that great jolt we gave her last night?"

"Last night, my Sesshoumaru. She is too kindly to ever say anything about such a supposition, I'm sure."

"Ah, there's my name, my love! I go directly. Here, give me a kiss and I am ready." He took his kiss and nigh sprinted from my presence with me laughing after at his antics. My master in love was a strange, animated being and I felt his energy in my own heart as well, hurrying off to the library to greet my pupil, who I was excited soon would be my little brother-in-law.

When I told him the news, he whooped with joy and surprise, embracing me tightly, and wondered at how I had kept such a secret as my love for his brother; he said he had long suspected his Sess of possessing feelings for me and gave as evidence all those evenings in his presence and all those times he looked in the door on our music lessons. I told him he looked in on his lessons out of his desire to watch his brother, but Inuyasha shot this supposition down revealing what I had never noticed, that his eyes had ever been on me and not his ward. I blushed mightily for I had not known and wondered if, having known, I would have suspected, but no, those hot looks he gave me when I sang did not much move my mind on the subject; he had ever been about his games and so I was to know little.

I was returning to my room after lessons to replace my shawl, for the temperature was high this day and I had no need of it, when I passed Mrs. Fairfax's room and saw her in residence. I smiled to her and she called me in to speak with her, offering me some tea as had just been brought.

I accepted and sat, waiting to see what she might say. "Is it true, then? I would swear the master came but moments ago and told me you are to be his wife."

"So has he told me."

"Are you sure it is love which brings him to propose?"

I was deeply wounded by her question, indeed, my hand rose to my heart and I looked at her with my pain. She amended quickly, "I meant no injury, child, it is just that you are so young and so little acquainted with men; I thought only to put you on your guard. You should remember the saying 'all is not gold that glitters' and best to retain a distance from him. Men of Lord Rochester's station are not accustomed to marrying their governesses and it is a month yet before such would happen."

I stood. "It sounds as though you think this an ingenious snare by Lord Rochester to trap me by some deviousness. I will not sit and listen to this."

"Please, child, I mean only to put you on your guard. There is much in this world and in this house you do not know that I do and I cannot be happy for this union as things stand. I am sorry, but I cannot tell you more than this warning."

The last person from which I expected this maligning was Mrs. Fairfax, for I thought her devoted to her master, and could not fathom this harshness from her. I fled, running downstairs and nearly into my love's arms.

"Why, Kagome, you look troubled! What has bothered you—I will slay your dragons!"

"There is nothing, my love. Truly nothing of import."

"Good, then. You and I are off to town! I must make a lady of you!"

"How is that?"

"We go to the dressmakers to see you properly outfitted. And to the cobbler, to see you shod, and then home where I will see you bedecked in the ornaments your station demands."

I went with him and watched with amusement as he fussed and carried on about what would suit me. I offered little input on the subject for I was much too diverted watching him dress me as a child would a doll. I was unaccustomed to such finery and the attentions lavished on me by the store owners, but I reminded myself ever that this was important to my love and practiced patience. The dressmaker was able to alter one dress already made by the end of the day, of lovely, pale pink satin, off the shoulder, with ruffles and lace over the neckline, fitted bodice, and puffed sleeves, my one choice for favorite, and we picked it up on the way home.

As soon as we were in the door Sesshoumaru bid me go upstairs and change for him, which I did with a measure of excitement. In a moment of vanity, I rearranged my hair in a more elaborate style the likes of which I had never allowed myself to wear and descended. He awaited me in the parlor and from the look of awe mingled with love on his face, I knew he approved of my appearance.

He swept me into his arms and declared I was the loveliest woman he had ever befallen. He kissed me quickly then went to a group of boxes he had on a chair. He beckoned me nearer and I followed. From the first box he displayed diamond and pink sapphire earrings before clipping them on my ears. From the next a matching necklace that sparkled like the stars in the sky which he lovingly fastened around my neck. From a third, much smaller box, he produced a diamond ring, which he placed on the third finger of my left hand. "So," I thought. "An engagement ring!" It was of a gold band with a platinum setting, two large, brilliant cut diamonds set above and below with swirls of rose cut diamonds and platinum in a filigreed sort of backward "s."

He explained the ring was from Paris and was of a style called "_Toi et Moi_," or you and me. "You still accept me?" he asked.

"Come sit with me, my Sesshoumaru."

He sat himself in a chair and when I sought to sit elsewhere, he grabbed my hand, insisting, "No, sit here"

"On your lap?"

"As you see." He patted his leg. I raised an eyebrow. "You are to be my wife, Kagome! There can be no impropriety."

In my innocence, I did not know and though I suspected he would take advantage of this lack of knowledge to have his way, I relented and sat. I wanted too much to be close to him. He immediately scooped up my legs and threw them over the arm of the chair, capturing me in his arms.

"Sesshoumaru!"

"Allow me this liberty, love, for you have a look of seriousness about you as if you were prepared to sentence me for some terrible crime and I seek to console myself with your nearness."

I sighed at his silliness. "And so I do have serious business to attend. Sesshoumaru, though I love this attention you have given me today and I understand it is necessary I would have you know you are secure in my affections: you need not purchase them with finery nor will I leave you for lack of it. I wish only for you and your love. Can you understand?"

He smiled then. "Any other woman would be ecstatic with their presents and forget all about me, but not my Kagome. No, you smile prettily at them then put them aside and seek my arms. What a rare and precious gem you are, far greater than any in which I would seek to cover you. And how, too, do you see my heart, my secret anxiousness of mind, that worries that I had better marry you today instead of wait the long month for you to be mine; I do fear your leaving, fear some force keeping us apart and it haunts me for I have finally found the love I have so desperately sought and despair of losing you."

"What can keep us apart? I have no relatives to object and you are your own man, free to make any decision you please."

"I am not as free as I would like, but I tell you God knows of my love for you and he sanctions my actions, he will not allow you to leave me for my love for you is right and good and faithful. You have been his instrument in my redemption and he will not part you from me. Yes, I know it with my soul: he will not!"

He had spoken with a strange vehemence and part of me felt a whisper of foreboding as he spoke that I could not comprehend. There was surely no reason to feel such, was there? I dismissed the thought and agreed with him instead that what we had together was good and was lasting. How could God not wish for two such souls to be joined? He tucked my head under his chin and held me there in his lap for the whole of the evening. Occasionally we talked and for awhile we worked on my Japanese, but eventually it was time to part for the night and he walked me to my room and kissed me passionately as I clung to him with the fierceness of my love before he broke the kiss and again found the knuckles of my hand before smiling at me and taking his leave for his chamber.

…

A/N: The ring I described can be seen at adin. be/ en/ 3thpage. asp?dtn=10190-4251&imgnr=0#img0


	14. The Day of the Wedding

Chapter 14

The next month passed quickly in the sunshine of my love's attentions and soon it was the day of our marriage. The night previous had been haunted by a strange dream in which I saw a great, looming, white dog that could have been taken from a Japanese scroll attack my love and strike him down whereupon it turned its red eyes and gaping maw to me and gave chase. I ran, crying, into the night and just as it would have pounced and sunk its great jaws, I awoke. I was immensely disturbed by the dream and did not eat my breakfast. It bothered me still as I dressed in my white gown and arranged the veil in my hair.

As I added the last piece of my costume, the string of pearls he had presented me last night, I examined my reflection and marveled I did at the changes wrought in the last month. I had thought myself pretty the day after his proposition but today…I had put on a little weight in my happiness which helped fill in my cheeks and the natural color therein promoted my bone structure which seemed finer by the day. My eyes burned in a rich, blue blaze of excitement and love and had never sparkled so; my lips seemed ever plumped and pinkened by his kisses. My hair shone with health and gleamed with blue highlights in its onyx blackness. Banished was the plain schoolgirl for the woman standing here was every bit the beauty my love proclaimed she was.

I tossed away the foreboding dream and raced down the stairs to find my Sesshoumaru where he paced in the hall. He took my hand and ran with me out the door, past our waiting carriage, past Inuyasha who waved in excitement down the lane and past the field to the chapel. He stopped at the door as he noticed I was quite out of breath and apologized, kissing my brow.

"Are you ready, my love?"

"So I have been since I met you," I said, catching my breath.

"Good. Let us hurry! I feel a devil on my back to have you declared mine."

We rushed inside to find the clergyman ready with his book and he started the ceremony. "I require and charge you both (as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed,) that if either of you know any impediment why ye may not lawfully be joined together in matrimony, ye do now confess it, for be ye well assured that so many as are coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow, are not joined together by God, neither is their matrimony lawful."

He paused then, as is the custom. Surely he did not expect an answer as he did not even lift his eyes from his book for whenever does there come an answer to that question and we were alone in the chapel besides. He continued, "Wilt thou have this woman, Miss Kagome Higurashi, for thy wedded wife?"

Before my love could answer came an interjection, "This wedding cannot proceed!"

Sesshoumaru turned angry eyes to the back of the little chapel. "Hikaru! Mind your words!" He turned back to the clergyman and demanded, "Proceed!"

"I cannot, Lord Rochester. There needs be some investigation here ere I continue."

"My lord, have you not thought of the girl? She is a Christian and will not thank you for a lawless marriage!" Hikaru said.

My eyes were large in my head and I listened in shock. How could it be lawless? We stood here in a church before God and his servant.

"Tell us, sir, why this marriage should be lawless," said the clergyman.

"The elder Lord Rochester yet lives. He has not and will not give blessing for this union."

"I have lived long in this neighborhood, sir. You are mistaken. The late Lord Rochester died some 10 years hence."

"I will swear and affirm he was living and in excellent physical health a month ago."

"You spineless cur! You would still give your loyalty to one who wishes you dead? Who tried to eat you alive?" Lord Rochester asked angrily. "Come, then, all of you. Come and see the great Lord Rochester!"

He took my hand and walked briskly back to the house, growling at the staff and Inuyasha to hold their congratulations, mounting with us the steps, then the third floor stair, then to Gregory Poole's room, where, throwing back the tapestry, he led us into the hidden room. There, standing hunched in his robe, his great handsomeness marred by the devil's own grin on his face as he glared at his guests, was a man with the same silver hair and golden eyes as my master. There was a gruesome, jagged scar on his neck and madness in his eyes.

"How is your patient today, Mr. Poole?" asked Lord Rochester. Mr. Poole, who I had not noticed, had been seated at a table in a corner of the room on the wall of the door.

"Well enough, sir, but a bit snappish. I especially shouldn't like the lady to be in here, sir!"

"So you see, all of you! Who here thinks this beast of a man capable of granting me permission? God knows he cannot! God knows of the perversity in this room! My father, turned madman by his wild, carnal indulgences, who must always be kept under guard for his own safety and for that of others, stands before you. Who will ask him if I may wed this sweet, pure flower who stands here so grave?"

Just then, as everyone turned to look at me pityingly, so, too, did the monster, and fixed on me a lunatic eye full of lust. He crept toward me and I backed away, eyes full of terror. Sesshoumaru turned then and saw the progress of his father and leapt between us.

"Tear off a piece of that little one, son, and toss me the rest. I don't mind seconds!" growled Mr. Poole's patient.

Sesshoumaru waved us out and we fled. We watched them struggle before Sesshoumaru subdued the man. That man, his father, said such horrid, lewd things as I dare not repeat here and which haunted me with their foulness. The clergyman blessed himself and uttered a prayer. Hikaru had the grace to look ashamed and walked to me then.

"Please, Miss, I beg your forgiveness, but I knew at a glance that night I was last here what my hardheaded master would do and I could not see a one such as you brought into a shameful position. You know that while his father yet lives he requires his blessing for the union to be legal. It may have held for appearances, but your soul would have been tarnished even in your ignorance and that I could not countenance."

"No, Hikaru, you have done me a service, though I admit, it does not feel that way now. Thank you for your efforts," I meant to speak louder, but all I could manage was a whisper. My throat felt swollen, my lungs ached, I felt as though I would suffocate if I did not flee this room and so I did, locking myself downstairs in my own room.

I sat for hours in my dress, just sitting on the bench at the foot of my bed. I know now I was in shock but then I knew nothing, thought of nothing: merely sat. Sesshoumaru came at some time and knocked on the door then I heard him bring a chair and he sat there and talked to me. I know not what he said, for I could comprehend nothing at that time. When darkness fell, I was moved to light a candle and then saw my stark figure in the mirror. With numb hands and numb heart I took apart my wedding costume: first my pearls, which I carefully wrapped back up in their package, then my veil, which I folded neatly, then my dress, which I hung in the closet. I put on my plain, black stuff dress in which I had arrived to Thornfield and took down my hair, brushing out the curls and wrapping it back up severely in the simple plaited bun at my nape that I used to wear. I removed, then, my ring, for there could be no engagement, no promise, no betrothal, no wedding, and placed it on my vanity.

I wove in my step as I did so and realized then I had not taken food or drink since yesterday and I was weak with hunger. I moved to my door and unlatched it, meaning to find my way to the kitchen and scrounge some bread and cheese, but when I opened the door, I tripped over my master's legs and he caught me in his lap.

"Kagome! I had despaired of seeing you before morning. Oh, but you look pale and weak. Tell me you forgive me? Tell me you will not leave me, my dear Kagome!"

"I am sick, sir, and tired and thirsty. I have already forgiven you."

"Come back to your room, then, and sit here. There you go. I will bring you tea and a meal, only just promise to stay. You will, won't you?" He pulled me into my room and bade me sit on the bed.

"I will be here when you return, sir."

And he took off and returned presently with a plate of ham and parsnips with a small loaf of bread and butter and Leah brought a tray of tea and biscuits, all which were sat on my bed. My master bid Leah good night and he closed the door behind her. He lit a blaze in the hearth, sitting on the bed with me and watched intently as I ate. I said nothing, for I had no words, and ate sparingly, for I felt queasy in my stomach as if all the thoughts that should be spinning around in my head had gathered there instead.

When I finished my meal, he helped me move the tray to the dresser and sat with me on the bed. "Say something, I beg you, my dearest Kagome."

"I must leave."

"What? No! Surely, you must not! Come, let me hold you and I will change your mind," he whispered. He kissed me then, most passionately, as if to draw out my soul, and he bore me then back onto the mattress, where his kisses became sweeter but no less ardent. His elegant fingers found the skin of my neck and stroked me there, adding fuel to the fire which sparked to life in my body, calling to the twin flame I could feel burning in his own flushed body as he loomed over me and pressed soft kisses to my mouth. "You love me still, say it, please, my love," he whispered against my lips.

"I love you, sir, more than ever, and tomorrow more still, though this is the last time I shall say it," I whispered in answer.

"Kagome! Do you think you can shut me out of your heart like so? I declare you cannot! Our love is too fervent, too pure to be brushed off and forgotten." He rubbed his cheek to mine and whispered fervently in my ear, "You love me as I love you, as though we were both halves of the same soul. We must cleave to each other, don't you see, for we are only each half a person."

"There is no honor in staying here with you where I will be always tempted and tortured by my love for you for I cannot have you."

"Please, love, I know of a place, a villa in Tuscany where we may live, where no one would know us…" I turned away from him on the bed, I could not look at him if he dared to say what I thought he must. "No, no, Kagome!" He held me from behind and spoke in my ear. "You misunderstand! We would live as brother and sister. I would not dare to touch you, I swear it! We would spend our days in innocent pursuits and our evenings together eating rich foods and singing and playing as we do so well together. I could not sully you, my purest heart, my dearest possession. Perhaps I was wrong in what I tried today, but I tell you I believe in my heart God was on my side for that thing kept locked away upstairs is everything foul of this earth and though long have I wished to rid the world of its contamination, I have ever sought the greater path of caring for it and ensuring it did not harm itself. But Hikaru was right and I should not have thought to chance your soul so I would not again. You are too precious to me, my love."

"And what then, sir, for we cannot act as brother and sister. First, you would come to resent and hate me for you could not have me completely. It is as you say, we are two halves of a whole, we would be tempted at every moment to come together in sin and though I cannot bear the wrongness of parting from you, it is the only way. Surely you must see that? And what morbidity to sit and wait the death of your father like it be some great prize. The man I saw, though wickedly demented, appeared in years not much older than you! How that can be, I do not know, but he was hale of spirit and hearty of limb and in no like way to die any time soon."

"I do _not_ see it! I could have seduced you a thousand times in these months but ever did I stay my hand. And it is true my family is ever a healthy bunch but surely he must die someday and like it will be before us as he is older."

"So when we are 70 and he 90 we may finally be together? No, sir, this is true insanity."

"Why are we back to sirs? You are my one, we are equals in love, can you not say my name? So you would leave me for the prospect of another, then, Kagome?"

"Never, sir! I have given my heart, the only one I have to give. It belongs ever to you. And yes, we are back to sirs for I am no longer affianced: I am merely Kagome, poor and plain and alone."

"There is no cause to be alone, my love, when we might be together."

He turned me again to my back and kissed me with all his frustration and I knew then that nothing I could say would make him understand. I kissed him back with all I felt for him and clung to him as if it were the last time I should have the opportunity, for, indeed, I knew it was. I formed my resolve then in the passion of that kiss that I must leave him; that I must sneak away in the night while he slept. First, though, I needed him to go to bed. With reluctance the likes of which I had never felt before nor have I since, I broke the kiss and stroked his cheek; my own were wet with tears. How I longed to stay with this man, how I grieved already what I must do and what it would do to him as well as to me, but I was resolute.

"I am tired, sir. It has been a long day."

"Of course. You must be exhausted. I will leave you, then, and find you in the morning. I daresay after a good night's rest this will all look different and you will then agree to come away with me." He kissed me once more, lovingly, before getting up from the bed. I stood with him and walked to the door. I watched him as he opened it then walked down to his own room whereupon I closed and bolted my door and lay down on the bed with my thoughts to wait.

…..


	15. Father

Chapter 15

I tried to nap there, half lying on my bed in my clothes but I could find no peaceful slumber. No sound came from the house else the large clock in the hall, which lately chimed three. I rose from my bed and packed my valise with only such belongings with which I had come and took my shawl, which I folded to a smaller size, into which I placed the remains of my cold repast: most of a loaf of bread, in which I placed the ham, and also the biscuits from my tea. I hurriedly ate the remainder of the parsnips. When I had finished, I quietly unbolted my door and crept down the gallery hall, down the stair and out the door, saying a prayer for the safekeeping of my love and his brother on my way out.

I found my way to the road in the bright, full moonlight and traveled away from Millcote until I met a crossroads. I cannot say what desperation possessed me but I set down my things and fell to my knees, clasping my hands in front of me and closing my eyes. "Please, I need help! I don't know what to do or where to go, only that I must away! Please give me some small sign!" I knew not to whom I spoke, whether it be God or the baker from town, only reached out in my desolation to any whom would hear me.

"Hello, child," came my answer.

I knew that voice! I looked up to see my friend of old. "Father! How come you to be here?"

"Did you not just call for me? I know I heard the words."

Comprehension dawned on me as quickly as disbelief. "But…," was all I could say.

"Rise, child. Come over to this fallen oak and sit with me awhile; I will give you the answers you seek."

"How can this be true?" I whispered as I joined him there.

"By the usual way. You were born of faerie and as your mother had been of human origin prior to our mating, you were placed with a human family so when you came of age you would have a choice."

"My mother? Why is she not here? She was in the story you taught me."

"Your good mother died bringing you into this world. Shall I tell you about her, then?" At my eager nod, he continued, "Megumi was her name, which in her native tongue means 'grace.' She was a _hime_, or princess, of the Western lands of Japan, come to England to find out if there be any truth in stories of faerie she had heard from travelers to her homeland. We watched her as she brought her offering of cream and honey with curiosity, as we could tell she was foreign and had traveled far. She beseeched us come and speak with her and so we did. I came with my sister Mab and we spoke for long hours with the girl. She had so many questions! And as she talked, with her charming manners, I found myself caught. She told us of the spirits and demons that roamed her homeland—,"

"Demons!"

"Now, child, do not fret. The word has been around much longer than your Christianity, which would have you think only of evil from its pronouncement. Demons, or _youkai_, as they are known in Japan, are very like we faerie for they are guardians of nature. Just as we watch over the wilds and verdancies of this world, so, too, do youkai. That man who sought to corrupt you and the vile madman who is his father are both demons; indeed, so is his friend and servant, Hikaru."

"But why did he not tell me?"

"Why, indeed. He also knew of your true nature, knew it at first glance, or sniff, more likely, in his case, but kept that from you as well."

"Father, how is it you seem to know the events at Thornfield? We have not spoken for some time."

"I have watched you, child. You are my daughter, born of my one true love, and infinitely dear to me. I could not interfere with your life, but I was always there in case you needed me."

"You spoke of placing me with a family. How is that possible when I was an orphan at a charity school?"

"Oh, lass. This is my great shame for when your mother died, I nearly lost myself. I could not care for me let alone you and placed you with a human couple who knew our ways and I knew would keep you safe. For nearly two years I languished in my misery, never rousing from my drunkenness to come visit you as I ought. By the time I woke from my stupor and realized I had a daughter to take care of, the couple had died of influenza and left you in the care of that wretched school. I am bound by the laws of my kind that since your mother had once been human you must be raised with humans so I left you there and watched over you. Sorry I am that you had to endure such a place, but it was not a place that catered to adoptions else I would have arranged for another proper human couple to take you in."

"I was so proud when you applied yourself so well to your studies and sought to become a teacher. Your thirst for knowledge is certainly from your dear mother for she was a woman of great learning. As soon as I was able, I found you in the town and introduced myself. You never seemed to question why a traveling merchant was ever in one place but for that I was glad as I knew you were not ready to hear what I would tell you for you were not yet old enough."

"And then you left and came here to this place and I hoped you would remember the old Gaelic song I taught you and keep yourself from that dog, but you were drawn, so drawn, to him and there was nothing I could do but wait. I tried to get to you in your dreams, but your demon was ever there working his own magic and with you receptive, his will won out. It wasn't until the night before the wedding that I was able to reach you there and tried to warn you, but you did not heed it."

"Well, now, here you are, making the right choice to be rid of him and I am here to take care of you in your sorrow. I offer you two choices: you may wait here for morning for the carriage that will take you to London, where at the Bank of England you will find an account in your name with funds to provide you any kind of life you should choose, or, I shall take you to London myself and you shall live with me in my townhouse and we shall get to spend time together as a family and I will do my best to distract you from your sadness. Which would you like, child?"

"You offer me a real family for the first time in my life! There is only one choice! Please, if you would, I wish to know you, if, indeed, you are my father, and to spend time with you as long as you will let me."

"There's a good lass. Close your eyes, then."

I did and instantly I felt as though I were indoors in a warm room, as though instead of rough bark beneath me there was a padded seat. I could hear a fire crackling. "May I open my eyes now, Father?"

He laughed. "Of course, child. We are home."

I opened my eyes and saw we were in a very rich room done in French styling, quite Louis IV, with its prominent use of inlayed woods and ivory, jade, and more as well as features of suns, fleur-de-lis, and fantastical creatures such as gods and nymphs. I smiled. I could see why he chose it. "So my father has a sense of humor," I thought.

He caught my roaming eye and my amusement and winked cheekily. I recalled my love had once winked at me and again I was morose. I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"Come here, child." He gathered me in his arms and held me. "I know you cannot help yourself now. Fate has dealt you a cruel blow and every little thing reminds you of that villain. Ah! Shh, now! I know what you would say, that I do not know him, but I tell you I do. If not for your influence, I would have thought him irredeemable, though his vices do not hold a candle to those of his father's. He would have sought to have you by any means, even to break the laws of man and his own kind, and that, my dear, is something I cannot acquit. I know it feels as though your heart will ever ache, but I tell you one day you will be able to move on—mayhap to find someone more worthy. Ah! No, do not shake your head at me. I am your father and I only wish for your happiness and it will not come with mourning over some ignoble noble."

"Relax here by the fire with me and I will tell you of your mother, who, I must say, you resemble quite a bit. You have my eyes, as I'm sure you've noticed before, but your look of understated elegance is all her. This luxuriant mass of black curls you punish so in the way of a Quaker by seeking to tame it in severe braids and coils is purely Megumi. Your alabaster skin is hers, your slight form and figure, likewise. She lived in the capital city of Kyoto—yes, a name you know, for the West is also the territory of those silver-tongued, silver-coated dogs, the Taisho clan."

"Now, now, I mean no disrespect by calling them dogs, for dogs they are: they are silver dog demons. See, now, how little truth this one you profess to love has shown you? I implore you remember that next you are overcome with your grief. A little dose of anger is just what you need to shore up your spirits, I say!"

"So…where was I? Yes! She was betrothed to the son of another noble house, but had met the man and found him witless and boring. She had heard that the faerie of the British had the power to see the future and she wanted to know if there was any way to avoid this unfortunate match. For that very reason she traveled here, under the guise of a goodwill visit to your monarchy, to speak with us. I had seen that my destiny was coming, but did not know until I saw her that it was she. How her dark eyes glittered like jet! How her long hair, worn down and flowing, shined in the moonlight! She was exotic and lovely and I vowed that first night I would have her and so put off her query night after night so I could spend time with her. My sister did not come after the first night, having acknowledged my choice, though I must say she was not glad of it: she had a wish of me wedding one of our cousins of whom she was very fond, and she was a good woman, but it wasn't to be."

"And so she came, night after night, with her jugs of cream and honey, and sat with me in the starlight as we spoke of everything and nothing. On the fourth night I confessed I knew the very way for her to escape her arrangement with that dullard: she must marry me and come away with me to Avalon. She was frightened, to be sure, for it would mean leaving behind her home and her family, but when she looked into my eyes and sighed her gentle sigh full of longing, I knew I had won her. I courted her then for a full month to give her time to consider and to show her I was trustworthy in my devotion. I took her to the opera and the ballet and for walks in the countryside and to Bath where we partook of the healing waters and I shuttled her on a boat ride along the Avon. I showered her with presents and laughed and sang with her, for I tell you she had a singular voice—not a soprano such as yours, but dark and seductive."

"At the end of the month, I brought her to a forest and thence to Avalon whereupon my sister, Mab, officiated the simple ceremony and bid us well as we returned to my home to become mates." He could tell somehow that I was crying then for he said, "There, now, draw no parallels to your own day, child. I did not tell you this to encourage you to think on that hateful demon, merely to tell you of your loving mother. I can see now I should have picked some other memory. Easy, dear."

He continued cooing sweet words to me but by then I was inconsolable. The weight of my long day came crashing around me and I cried to my soul for the injustice of it all, for what might have been. I lay there in my father's arms before the fire and cried until I exhausted myself and fell asleep.

…..


	16. The Smallest Purpose

A/N: I wanted to clarify a few things brought up in reviews, for now I feel defensive of my plot scheme. RuBiAx wrote that my device for keeping the two apart was weak and did not have the proper weight to it: I will concede this. When I decided to write a "Jane Eyre"-based story, I needed two things chiefly: a monster, and an impediment to their marriage. I could have done as in the book and made both of these a prior marriage, with his wife as Mr. Poole's patient, but in my romantic mind, dog demons, excepting the aforementioned father, mate for life and marrying anyone less than his soul mate is not something I felt our Byronic hero would ever do. Choosing instead to pick from Takahashi-sama's world, I made Inu no Taisho mad and invented the impediment that in this world I have created, which is highly patriarchal, marriage cannot happen without the blessings of the fathers if they yet live. There was no issue brought up about Kagome's father because she believed herself to be without living parents. That Sesshoumaru knew better will be addressed in future chapters.

LoveInTheBattleField wrote that she was experiencing confusion regarding Gancomer. Let me recapitulate: in Chapter 9, Kagome goes into the first detail of her friend, the travelling merchant known to the innkeeper as Gancomer. She explains that he bid her call him Father, and so she did, thinking it an idiosyncrasy, a lark: she did not think of him as her father, nor did she suspect anything to that end. It is to be noted that Sesshoumaru, however, did, for he became instantly upset and forbid Kagome to go outside and call for her parents, something that Kagome recalls once she encounters her old friend in the crossroads. She has a reaction of both comprehension, remembering the song and Sesshoumaru's reaction to it, and disbelief.

Remember also, in the chapters to come, that I have striven to copy the style of Miss Bronte's work, which was done from a singular point of view. We must then follow Kagome where she goes and know only her thoughts and actions at this time so do not expect to hear about Sesshoumaru until they can be reunited. I understand this may be frustrating for I am at a point in my writing where it is frustrating me immensely as well, but we shall have to bear it.

I hope this better explains what I have sought to do here.

Thank you, everyone, for reading, and be consoled that this author does not write tragedy: I have read some of you are worried. Remember Lysander's words from _A Midsummer Night's Dream_: "The course of true love never did run smooth" for how can what Kagome and Sesshoumaru have be less than true love.

On with the show…

….

Chapter 16

I awoke in a most comfortable bed piled high with blankets on what felt like a feather mattress on top of another mattress. My room was lovely, in that same French styling as the room in which we had arrived had been: it glittered with gilt and there was so much detail in the molding and frescoes on the ceiling of faeries and nymphs frolicking in a clearing, but little did I appreciate it. I knew I should get out of bed, but instead I remained and wondered what Lord Rochester was doing at that moment. I started crying again and cried until I fell back asleep.

…..

Next I awoke it was dark and my father was entering with a tray and candles. I could smell it was some food, and though the scent was unique to my experience, I wanted none of it.

I opened my mouth to say so but was interrupted. "Button up, lass. I know you've no appetite to speak of, so I shall govern that bodily function for you. You are overwrought by emotion and your judge of what you need now is not to be trusted. I had this made especially to temp you and there's only a small portion besides so I will have you finish it."

He had an uncanny way of anticipating my arguments and my head was fuzzy in that way that happens from too much sleep so I sat up in bed and folded down the covers to do as I was told whereupon he placed a tray of some sort of thick stew in front of me. There was a bowl of rice to the side and another bowl of fresh fruit. As I sat there looking, he brought in a tea service and served me a cup.

As I brought it to my lips he spoke up, "Now, child, this is a special tea from the East Indies with much flavor and spice—just so you don't go expecting something different when you taste it."

I looked at it curiously for a moment but it smelled enticing so I lifted the cup and drank. Clove I could taste right off, and cinnamon besides. The rest was too unique for my palette to recognize, but this sweet milk tea was delicious and I had drunk my cup whole before I realized it.

"There, now. I expect you'll want another cup of chai, won't you?" I nodded and he smiled at me as he poured. "Now don't go forgetting about your meal. That's called lamb korma, a rich stew sweetened with raisins and coconut milk."

I had never had the occasion to try coconut though I had seen it pictured in books and had to say I was skeptical something so hard and uncolorful could be sweet or appealing in taste. Still, I had a sneaking suspicion I knew where my stubbornness came from and that I had met my superior. I took my fork and speared a chunk of meat, which was tender and yielding and brought the fragrant morsel to my mouth.

Since coming to Thornfield, I had discovered in myself a weakness for sweet tastes as I had never been acquainted with the flavor at Lowood school and so had never known the taste of such before. The lamb was, indeed, sweet, and rich, and comprised of a symphony of flavors. My lack of actual hunger was forgotten in my need to try more of this dish. When I had finished the meat and vegetables, I mixed the rice with the sauce to prolong the experience. I was scraping the bowl with my spoon in a very unladylike way to get the last dregs when I took notice of my gluttony and blushed clear to the roots of my hair. I set my utensil down and meekly met my father's laughing eyes.

"I have ready another tray for you. Shall I bring it in, then?" I started to protest in my embarrassment and he scoffed. "Trust me, child, what you need now is a bellyful of something good to ease the emptiness of your heart. I will not have you losing weight on me for you've none to spare." He switched out the bowls of stew and rice and sat with me on the bed as I ate.

For this serving, I was much less porcine in behavior and ate at a moderate pace, enjoying the conversation with my father. We talked of harmless things: the weather, the season, his home here in London and most especially his music room.

"So there's a pianoforte of the Viennese school by Streicher, known for their expressiveness and shorter dampening, a Broadwood grand, which produces a more robust sound, flutes of Meyer, Irish and of the Boehm system done in the French style, a guitar, violin, cello and harp. There is an extensive music library attached to the room where you may find nearly anything you might fancy. I would love to show you the room if you're able to quit your bed now."

He was tempting me sorely from my gloom and he left me whilst I dressed for he had had me relieved of all but my chemise. I thought that I should have been more embarrassed about this than I was, but reasoned that this was after all, accomplished by my father's own maids and surely there could be no impropriety there for it should have been greatly uncomfortable to sleep fitfully in my corset and underclothes, especially as long as I had done. Once I was properly attired, I opened my door and saw he awaited me in the hall.

We walked down a long gallery that could easily have been a ballroom for it contained great chandeliers and much gilt and then down the steps to the main hall. His house was much larger than I imagined a townhouse ought to be and decided my father must be a man of great means. We arrived in the music room where the sconces and chandelier were lit and a great blaze roasted in the massive marble fireplace at the center of the back wall. The room was done in a light moss green with gilt molding and a great lifted ceiling of cream and gilt latticework; the floor was parquet done in two lightly contrasting woods made into squares of differing directions. The instruments shone in relief in their places: a piano on either side in the foreground of the great fireplace, the harp in the corner, the rest in storage in the adjoining room. In front of these were upholstered sofas and arm chairs so that the players might enjoy an audience.

My father brought me over to the Broadwood and bid me sit down with him whereupon he played a bright. airy tune of a poor, insightful fool who is happy because he has not the somber thoughts of one with a more intelligent mind and lives a simple life. I laughed as my father tweaked his voice and speech to better capture this feeble-minded soul until I felt guilt that here I laughed when surely my love had no one to help him to do so and fell silent.

"Ah, lass, what am I to do with you, for I swear I will not let you mope about in your misery. You have family for the first time in your life and someone who would love and take care of you; I will not have you feeling guilt for every smile I pry from you. Here you may divert yourself and heal away from your troubles and I fully devote myself to the position of your physician and caretaker. I've a want to show you something now we are done here. Come."

He showed me into the attached library and brought forth a wooden case a little more than a foot in length and set it down on a table. Unlatching it and lifting the lid, I saw that inside was a flute of silver in three pieces. He presently assembled them and played a few notes before offering to me the instrument. I looked at him with puzzlement for I knew not what he expected.

"Place the mouthpiece to your bottom lip as I showed you, smile your lips back into your checks and blow across the hole there," he entreated.

I did, but barely a sound did I manage. He helped me position it this time and bid me wiggle it around until I could feel the rightness of where he had put it and I found he was right: it fit perfectly there against my lip. I blew again and recognized a C#; I had learned my first note.

"Well done, lass! Perfectly in tune! A natural, I would say! Well! I will leave you now with your new toy and attend to some business in my study across the hall. If you have a want for anything come find me, for there is no help I would not grant you.

He left me then and I sat on one of the piano benches and found a pen and lined paper there which I used as I examined this instrument and picked out notes of two octaves, which was done easily enough. The highest octave proved more challenging as the fingerings were not as straightforward and it took me a great deal of time to find them. It struck me, as I experimented, the very ease which I was having not only in fingerings but in embrasure. My mouth seemed to know instinctively to tighten or to relax and by how much to find the note for which I searched. I had sketched a chart of finger placements from middle C to high C when I realized I was yawning.

My father chose to enter at precisely that moment and witnessed my yawn. "There now: a proper English clock works in your breast for I was just coming to ask if you were yet ready for bed. It is early still, by London hours, as you'll find when I introduce you to society, but for your first day of deliverance, eleven o'clock is a fair time to retire, even if you did sleep the day away. Come, child, up you get."

I put away the flute and joined him; he took my hand to his arm and we made the trip back up to my room.

"I am truly impressed with your progress on the flute today, lass: like you were born with it in hand, I'd say. And those high notes! You should know it usually takes much practice to gain the skill to reach them but there you were. You might have wondered if it can go higher, and, indeed, it can: it looks like you will have a project to keep you busy during the day and I have plenty of flute music to keep you entertained. I am so proud of you, daughter. Less than twenty-four hours ago you were kneeling in the lane, praying to any that would hear you and tonight you go to bed with a purpose. I will see what I can do to help you keep your mind busy. I daresay a child around would give you something to do as well, for you're an excellent teacher." We had reached my door and he embraced me then, tightly. He said in my ear, "Trust me, child; I will see it put to rights. I swear it."

At that, he released me and I wandered in to find my bed.

….


	17. Kagome's Introduction To The Ton

Chapter 17

For nigh on two weeks we established a pattern whereby my father saw to his many callers during the day while I practiced the flute in the music room; after which, he would join me and we would play and sing and I would try not to draw similarities to my evenings with Lord Rochester.

He decided then it was time to see me properly outfitted as befitted my station in life as a gentleman's daughter and princess of faerie. He took me to the finest shops London had to offer and where the ladies fussed over me and obsequiously prattled to my father's money. Again, I found myself drawing parallels and as soon as my face would fall, my father would whisk me away to another shop where it was all the same again. After a week's worth of shopping, where I ended each day collapsing in a heap in a chair by the fire and not vacating until it was time for bed, my father showed mercy and said there would be a reprieve.

Over the days that followed endless dresses and finery arrived, jewels and lace to follow. I had an entire room devoted simply to my new attire and solely in my mind was what Lord Rochester was doing as I was idling away practicing music and receiving presents. How I missed him! How I longed for his kisses and endearments! But it was not to be, for as the line says "To have and to hold" and I could not have him in order to hold him.

A month after my run-away, I was practicing a piece by Cecile Chaminade, one Concertino for flute and piano, Opus 107 when my father and a young man of about Lord Rochester's age came in with a young girl of around six years. I made to stop in my play, but my father bid me continue and so I did. He joined me at the pianoforte for it seemed he knew the piece. His company sat and listened to me as I played and did so pleasantly, with smiles on their faces, the girl sitting close to what I assumed to be her father on a sofa.

When we had finished, the man and his daughter clapped their appreciation and so, too, did my father. I modestly curtsied to each and then looked to my father, who commenced the introductions.

"My dear Kagome, meet my friend, Jarren, and his young daughter, Eolande. Jarren, Eolande, this is my daughter, Kagome. Kagome, child, these two are alike to us, of faerie."

Jarren stepped forward and took my hand, bowing over it, and said, "It is an honor, finally, to meet the child of Gancomer for he talks of little else, especially of late: truly an honor, Miss Kagome."

I bowed my head graciously and then looked to the child, quite a small beauty, and took her tiny hand in mine. "Perhaps one day we may be good friends, Eolande." And I meant it with all of my heart.

"I admit, Miss Kagome, that is my most earnest wish. Your father tells me you have been employed as a teacher and governess. I am in need of such for my treasure and hoped you might agree to take on a pupil," Jarred said.

"A pupil! Why, my father has not said a word, sneaky devil that he is! How I should long to have someone to look after and to occupy my time! As, no doubt, my free spoken father has informed you, I am lately deposed of my employment and am a person unused to idleness so I should love to help you with your child." Turning to Eolande, I knelt down and asked, "What say you? Should you like to learn of the world around you? To sing and draw and play and sew?"

"Oh, yes, Miss Kagome! I should like my father to be proud of me!"

"Of that, dear, I am certain he already is, but we will endeavor to keep it so." I stood and smiled at Jarren, who smiled brilliantly back at me. It occurred to me, then, that he was rather beautiful in the same way my father and this man's daughter were, and, seeing him as kin, I decided he would be my friend as well as my father's. "What say you, Mr. Jarren?"

"If you teach as well as you play, you are an ideal to tutor my daughter." He paused a moment then added, "I understand you are not yet out in society. I should like to throw a ball in your honor: three weeks hence, you shall be launched from my very home."

I looked to my father for his aid as I was quite unready to meet the throngs of London society: I still considered myself in a sort of mourning, the sort I should never hope to overcome. He instead betrayed me by agreeing, "What a capital idea, Jarren! Quite perfect timing! My child would love to be sponsored by so great a man as you! Wouldn't you, dear?"

I had no choice but to agree, though in my heart I wished I might disappear entirely.

…..

Though I had more than plenty evening gowns already made, my father made a to-do that I must have a new one yet for my coming out. The time was filled with fittings and fussings and though my mornings were now claimed by my young pupil, my afternoons were ever of lectures by a friend of my father to get me ready for my introduction on etiquette and protocol. I was bone-weary by supper and no fit company at all in the evenings, of which he bid me stay up later and later to acclimate me to the hours of the Season. My comforts during this time were my father, who ever tried to bolster my spirits, my pupil, Eolinde, who need not try for her free and simple smiles were more than enough for me, and, surprisingly, my new friend, Jarren, who visited me in the evenings and had taken me either for rides in his carriage in the park or for strolls and the exercise had done wonders for me, allowing me a few moments a day where I felt I may yet breathe.

Jarren was a kindred spirit for he had lately lost his wife but two years hence, and we spent long hours recalling our loves to one another. My father ever endeavored to distract me from my pain but with Jarren I was free to feel as I felt, for he felt the same way, and in knowing I was not alone in my pain, it became a controllable entity. So, too, was he a man of learning, and we discussed the world and current events and though it pained me the similarities I felt with my Lord Rochester in these talks, still was I free to express those pangs to him, for well he knew and understood my loss.

The day of the ball arrived, and it took much cajoling from my father to make me leave my bed for I was terrified of facing the masses, more terrified still of them finding I was wounded of heart for I had met their ilk at Thornfield and knew well they frenzied as the piranha of the Amazon at the smell of fresh blood. I dressed, then, in my gown of purest white satin, which gathered tight at the bodice but loose in the puffed sleeves and did then descend in a billowy show of embroidered satin in the skirt. My hair was in an elaborate blend of plaits and ringlets arranged by my new maid and though my spirits were dour, I had to admit, I, at least, looked pleasant.

We arrived at Jarren's townhouse and my father helped me down from the carriage. He said he had timed our arrival such that we should be the last to arrive, which only further heightened my anxiety. I did not want these people to notice me, I did not want to face their scorn and ridicule for I was certain they could see plainly on my face I was not one of them, that I had dared love a man of title and that God himself had seen to the destruction of that union, finding me unworthy.

We made our way inside where a footman took my wrap and yet another announced our entry. Music stopped, all eyes found me as I descended the stair into the ballroom and I had never felt so singularly exposed. As we met the floor, Jarren hurried over to greet us and kissed then my hand as if I were a lady. I suppose, given my newly discovered parentage, that I was, but I did not feel one without my beloved at my side. So began waves of introductions and I found a use for the fan I had been given whereupon I wrote the names of my dance partners as I was taught in the days preceding, and, indeed, those spaces filled most quickly to my great surprise.

My father had granted me permission to dance the waltz, but only with his friend, Jarren, for he said he did not trust most of the men of London to dance such an intimate dance with his precious daughter, and so those spaces were ready filled at that first greeting. I had been warned of gentlemen taking liberties much in the past week, but Jarren was ever trustworthy and did not seek to impugn on my dignity. Indeed, when I desired of a break in the fresh air of his patio, he was the first to offer and whisked me away from the oppressive heat of the ballroom.

"There, now. You were looking so flushed inside. Is this not better, Miss Kagome?"

"Jarren, I find it strange that we should refer to each other by our first name. Have faerie no last names?"

"For the purposes of the _ton_ we invent surnames, but no, we do not use such in our home for we are few and we know each other entirely, much like our demon kin in Japan that you know so well. Surely you met some who were not possessed of surnames?"

"You are right, of course. I deemed it a peculiarity at the time, but I see it is much adopted. I must thank you, Jarren, for this party. You have quite outdone yourself and I am afraid I do not appreciate it as I should."

"You are still in mourning, my friend. Only time can heal your wound, hastened by distraction, which, I admit, myself and your father are much preoccupied with."

"Never say so! Your friendship of these past weeks has seemed genuine, not the artifice of mere distraction, and I know my father greatly cares for me, though I think ofttimes he does try overmuch."

"My dear Kagome, if he tries too hard, it is only to make up for the time he has lost with you. I cannot imagine being parted from my sweet Eolande for she is my flesh and so resembles my departed mate. So, too, do you resemble your late mother."

"So he has said. I cannot attest for I have never seen her likeness."

"I can, for I remember her. Do not look so shocked, for long are our lifespans, as I'm sure you have learned: I am much older than the human years to which I appear; likewise is your father. You have the same sort of beauty as she. It does not presuppose to strike immediately; rather does it stroll ever so softly into one's perception: a fine cheekbone here, a sparkling eye there, until all one can see is the beauty that resides within. You are a singularly pure soul, Miss Kagome, without the artifice typical of those of your station for I declare you are good and kind where so many only appear so."

I blushed at the praise. "Surely you are the kind one to applaud someone as plain as I. The only beauty I had died when I discovered my love could not be mine and now I am simply Kagome."

"If your wealth of suitors tonight be any indication, you are no less than you have ever been. As your friend, I only hope that one day you see yourself as you truly are: a lovely, accomplished princess of faerie who could have any life she chose."

"And if I choose to live my life alone?—a spinster daughter to my father? What then?"

He took my hand and said, "Then surely that would be the greatest pity of all."

The music keyed up for the next dance and he escorted me in to my next partner.

….


	18. A White Knight

Chapter 18

By the words of my father and Jarren, my debut was a rousing success. There came a teetering pile of calling cards left me daily and likewise was there a pile of invitations, which my father took the liberty of answering for me, delighting in keeping me occupied at parties nearly every night. Because of these late hours, my time with Eolande was changed to the afternoon so I might recover sleep in the mornings. There was no longer much time to myself, but what there was I spent in the music room.

My father arranged for a society matron, Lady Elizabeth Whitley, who was the very same who had been much occupied preparing me for my launch, to accompany me to these parties and act as sponsor and chaperone. I had initially thought her obsession with the _ton_ laughable, and to a large extent I still did, but I had to concede seeing her in her element was an impressive sight. She understood well the games these people played and acted as my buffer to protect me from them for she knew I could not hold my own. She provided such brilliantly worded responses to people's questions about me so as they believed they had been afforded real information when instead it was so vague as to be almost useless all while never letting a lie pass her lips. She kept me safe at her side at all times I was not dancing or in the company of my friend, Jarren, or Father.

We were in a drawing room enjoying punch at one such occasion when the hostess, a Mrs. Eaton, approached. "What an honor to see you here, Lady Whitley, and so, too, with your protégé, the much talked about Miss Higurashi. How does the evening find you?"

"We are quite well, Mrs. Eaton, if I may be so bold as to answer for my company, and how are you tonight?"

"Very well, indeed, for though I should like for some entertainment, I have just had it from Mr. Jarren Sinclair that this lady here does sing with a voice blessed by Aiode, the muse of song." She looked at me with purpose.

I started to shake my head but was stilled by Lady Whitley's hand on mine. "Miss Higurashi is a shy creature, much kept cloistered and unused to crowds such as this, but I can vouch for her ability. Though she may feel trepidatious, I am certain she may be persuaded to sing for us if you can find someone to play."

"There can be only one choice if she is so talented: I must find Mr. Michael Eaton, my cousin by marriage. Surely you have heard of his talent?"

"Indeed, I have, though we have yet to meet this gentleman. Will you grant us the honor, Mrs. Eaton?"

"By all means! Excuse me just a moment and I shall bring him directly!" At Lady Whitley's nod, she bolted from our company in fervent search for her cousin.

Lady Whitley moved in close to my ear and said _sotto voce_, "Listen well, child. This Mr. Michael Eaton is a man of known reputation where otherwise respectable ladies are concerned and it would not do well to have you associate with him past this interlude. Do not return his calls, should he visit your home, do not seek out his company at any gathering, and, above all, you must pretend ignorance of the facts to which I have just imparted you for you are not to know such things." I smiled for every time she spoke of something I was not to know, surely was it ever common knowledge.

I nodded my head in understanding when she met my eyes and she returned to her previous excellent posture, overseeing the goings on of the party with an air of bored disinterest while her sharp eye took in everything and her acute ear heard all. Presently arrived Mrs. Eaton with her cousin, a darkly handsome creature with a smoldering eye which leisurely apprised my form: I could readily see what had won this man his reputation. Introductions were dispensed with and I asked him how well he could improvise. He seemed surprised and intrigued by my question but answered that he could, and well. I provided him, then, with the key and he played arpeggioed chords to announce our song. Since it suited my lovelorn mood, I sang the Gaelic song my father had taught me which I had sung to Lord Rochester.

My audience stared at me while I sang and people who had been in the other rooms came to congregate in the drawing room until even I became so crowded that I sought refuge behind the piano with Mr. Eaton. I had not bothered to explain the song, and did not after I concluded; truly, I merely wanted an outlet for my pain—I did not perform to be a spectacle for I cared little for these people. I did not, however, wish to embarrass Lady Whitley and so had chosen to sing where instead I would much rather have been invisible, or yet better, at home with my sorrow.

At my conclusion, there was a great show of applause after everyone had collected themselves. I curtsied and my accompanist bowed and though I had a strong desire to find the solitude and fresh air of the out of doors, I found myself instead crowded with admirers. I looked about for any of my company who might save me, but there were surely oceans of people between myself and them for I could see no one.

In my desperation, I chanced to look behind me and it was then that my companion for the song, Mr. Michael Eaton, saw the look in my eye and took pity on me for he spoke up in a carrying baritone, "Make a path, friends! Miss Higurashi has exhausted herself and needs for some peace. You may all see her after she has had a moment. There now, through here, please! Do excuse us, Mr. Carringford, Mrs. Carringford."

He led me out from the masses and down a hall and out back to the garden. I perched myself on a low wall and breathed a sigh of relief. Mr. Eaton presented me then with a cup of punch he had managed to procure during our retreat.

"Thank you, Mr. Eaton. You have surely delivered me from the lion's den!" I said as I sipped my drink.

"They're not as bad as all that usually, though I must admit I only attend these things long enough to make the rounds and then I take off for finer, less demanding diversions."

I laughed then. "So have I heard."

He sat then on the wall with me and said, "Haven't you also heard that you are too delicate a flower ever to admit knowing such things?"

"Mr. Eaton, the only flowers present are behind me in the garden. I have no desire for intrigue."

"Ha! Singular! Do you not know that intrigue is the lifeblood of society?"

"I would happily be removed from society; I only come to please my father who seeks to distract me from myself."

"Surely you also hope to wed one day as all young ladies do. We are at the end of the Season and exhibitions such as you just performed are typically done by young, unmarried females for just that purpose."

"I will not wed. I have given my heart already and though I cannot have him, neither would I ever seek to replace him with some poor facsimile. As for the performance, I had no wish to do so, merely to sit quietly with my company, but did your cousin entreat and did my chaperone bid so was I outmatched against such forces unless I would choose to offend, which I have not the heart to do."

"Not wed? A suitor you cannot have? But Miss Higurashi, you are so young and yet you speak of so much living! Why can you not have your gentleman, then—is he a gentleman?"

"He is respectable, yes, and of good family, too, but his father cannot give blessing for the union and so we must be ever apart."

"That's a terrible business, pet. I have yet to know true love myself, only fleeting loves, but I pray for a solution to find you while you are yet young and sweet. I should hate to see you turn into an embittered old crone muttering about how you had once known love."

"How morbid you seem! But I also see a romantic heart. I am happy to find a kindred amongst the false masses of London. Perhaps we shall be friends, after all."

"Friends? Miss Higurashi, I do not count women among my friends."

"Perhaps you should. We are not all cut from the same cloth."

"So it would seem. I admit, you become ever more interesting moment to moment, but I do have a care for your reputation, pet. You should be going inside now and without me."

"Why should I want to go inside when they all only want to crowd me and press for conversion; I am not one of them, nor do I have aspirations to become so."

"All the same, your father and friends will not thank you for being out here alone with me. Indeed, the more I like you, the more I wish I had not rescued you."

"Nonsense! What trouble could we possibly get into in five minutes?"

He laughed. "I knew you for an innocent, no matter all this living you have done! Your answer? _All_ kinds, pet. Now off you get." He stood and lent me his hand to help me up.

As I was standing, Jarren rushed out on the patio. "What do you here with this man, Kagome?" Jarren asked.

"Mr. Eaton is my rescuer. I needed a breath of fresh air to clear my mind after the song and he liberated me from the demands of the masses."

Jarren walked up to Mr. Eaton and glared hard at him. "This girl is protected. You will keep away from her."

"Jarren, really! He is harmless!" At his look of outraged pride I amended, "Not harmless to a lonely widower, perhaps, but for a young girl in love with another man, he has no interest. He is a romantic, you must understand."

Jarren had not taken his eyes from Mr. Eaton. He spoke then, "Then I'm sure this is the last we shall hear from him." Jarren took my hand and led me away and back in through the doors. I smiled warmly in parting over my shoulder though I was not happy to be returning to the throngs.

….


	19. The Dream Calls

Chapter 19

The next day I woke around noon as was my habit and descended to the dining room for some breakfast. On my way, there was a knock at the door, and, seeing no one around, I took it upon myself to answer. I opened the door and there stood Jarren.

I opened my mouth to greet him but was interrupted, "Kagome! What do you think to do by answering the door? It could be any common criminal out to take advantage! Surely your father has warned you of such things."

"Jarren, do come in and I bid you spare me from your tirade. I knew well you come around this time with Eolande and was sure it was you else I would never have done so. Speaking of she, where is your daughter?"

Jarren stepped into the hall and as I was closing the door, there was a yell of, "Miss Higurashi!" from the other side. I swung the door back on its hinges and saw there Mr. Michael Eaton.

"Why, hello there, Mr. Eaton. Would you like to come in?" I said.

"I would, indeed, pet!"

At this point, Jarren took my shoulder in hand and muttered, "This is precisely why proper young ladies do not answer the door."

I glanced irritatedly over my shoulder at my friend before admitting my new friend into the house and shutting the door behind him. "There now! Will you two breakfast with me? I have not yet eaten and find I possess quite an appetite today." I pointedly ignored Jarren's glaring at Mr. Eaton—who was smiling brightly in return—and walked past them on my way to the dining room leaving them to follow.

Upon reaching the dining room, I found my plate and went to the sideboard to fill it with the delicious fare the cook always provided. I could hear the hushed tones of some talk of male importance to which I cared little and so called, "You hold up my meal most rudely, my friends! Do come and keep me company!"

I sat myself at the head of the table in my politic way of keeping my company separated. Predictably, Jarren fixed his plate and took the seat at my right. Mr. Eaton did the same and came to my left, whereupon he smiled and winked cheekily at me, which drew a sound akin to growling from Jarren. I ignored them both and sought out the comfort of my meal.

When I realized Jarren was merely glaring across the table in lieu of taking up his fork I found it necessary to say, "If you cannot behave properly, Jarren, I will have to ask you to leave. You embarrass and annoy me with this silliness."

"I could not possibly leave you alone with this man! Think of the impropriety!"

"Then amend yourself lest I throw you from my father's house. You try my patience with this undisguised rancor of yours. It is groundless and while it seems to have little effect on your target, it provokes me sorely."

"Here, here!" called Lady Whitley from the door. "I should expect better from you, Jarren, than to make your hostess uncomfortable with your selfishness." She stepped inside and prepared a plate before sitting beside him. "I should also expect the young miss would take my advice in friends, but as she is not alone with him, I will not fuss about it."

"Lady Whitley, how good to see you. I did not even hear the bell while I was applying myself to ignore my company. How are you today?" I asked.

"Quite well, my dear, indeed, I am. Your little duet of last evening is positively the talk of the _ton_, you should know. So famous that if the number of people who actually say they were present actually were in attendance, there shouldn't have been air to draw breath, let alone sing!"

"Oh, no," I said forlornly. "Lady Whitley is it too much to hope that should I conveniently catch a cold that should last a week or two that I may henceforth be seen in public and as easily disregarded?"

"Haha! What a farce that you who disdain society should win people over so easily when any other young girl would nigh sell her soul for some of your charm!"

"What charm? I hide behind you or Father or Jarren and say but the minimum to be polite."

"That's just it," said Mr. Eaton, "you are a mystery, so well protected it arouses the interest and now they have discovered you are so musically gifted, you will never be rid of them."

"I think I feel that fever coming on," I said.

After breakfast, we retired to my haunt, the music room, and resumed conversation. "You never did answer, Jarren: where is young Eolande?"

"I have decided that my daughter should have a different teacher. I worry that you do not get enough rest waking early to attend her lessons and I see that you have very little time to yourself. That was initially the goal, as you'll recall, but I believe we have overextended you and do not wish for you to take ill from the stress."

"Thank you for your thoughtfulness. I admit, I do not know what day it is for I feel always rushed hither and yon and some time to myself each day would be a pleasant change, though I am sorry to lose the company of such a sweet child and apt pupil."

"And she will miss you as well but I have explained the change to her and she understands."

That afternoon, we played and sang and talked until it was time to get ready for the evening. So began a series of weeks shared in the same company and, especially when Father would join us, I allowed myself to be, if not happy, then content during these interludes. We all shared similar reading habits and discussed what we had read, of politics and history we shared discourse, and even our tastes in music coincided. We were all quite enraptured with the music and literature of the day, being so much more concerned with nature and emotions than previous, and we never failed for aught to talk about or play.

Seeing this pleasantness of spirit, my father granted me a reprieve for my evenings, accepting far fewer invitations, and we ventured the company of others but three or four times a week instead of nearly every night and I was glad of the change for the demands of society weighed heavily on my soul.

…..

One night, when I had the luxury of finding my bed early, I lay down to sleep and had a terrible dream.

As it started, I was sitting in the orchard at Thornfield and it was once again spring for the blossoms swirled in the breeze. As I lifted my face to them, I noticed there was more in the air than blossoms. Ash twirled and landed on my outstretched hands and arms, streaking them. I breathed in and smelled smoke on the air. I stood and turned to look up at the house and saw it was full ablaze with fire. I ran to the house and hands caught me. I struggled to be free for I needed to make sure everyone was safe, but the hands held tightly. I turned to see who held me and it was Mrs. Fairfax and Inuyasha.

"Please!" I exclaimed, "Where is Lord Rochester?"

Inuyasha said nothing but pointed to the roof. I saw there my master and the beast that was his father grappling with each other. They were shouting but their words could not be heard over the roar of the fire. I struggled anew in my desire to rescue my love, but they held me fast. I shouted up to him that they must escape though I knew he could not hear me. I watched as his father bit his shoulder and threw him away. While my love was down, his father stepped up to the battlements and cried out as he leapt from them to the unforgiving gravel below.

Lord Rochester ran then to the edge, but he was too late. He ran back inside to try to make his way through the burning home. A third person had to come help restrain me when at last we saw him emerging from the flame. He was coming down the hall steps directly in front of the wide open front doors when the stair, weakened by the fire around and beneath it, collapsed and took my love down.

At that moment, the engines arrived from town and it was conveyed that the master had fallen beneath the main stair. Men ventured forth with axes and water and made their way into the blaze to rescue him. So many minutes passed that I began to lose hope when at last three men delivered my love from the inferno, just as the timbers above the stair collapsed behind them.

I broke free from my imprisonment then and ran to my love, who they placed in the wet grass before pouring water over him to cool his fevered skin. He was nearly incoherent, eyes closed, skin covered in burns, head restlessly moving from side to side, hands grasping, and the sound of one whispered word on his lips: "Kagome…"

….


	20. A Singular Purpose

Chapter 20

The next day I awoke with a singular purpose: I must return to Thornfield. I dressed quickly and went downstairs to find my father. He was not in his study which meant he was still abed. I paced in my frustration and smelled the scent of breakfast. I knew I would have a few long days of journey ahead, so I was determined to eat well now to sustain me so I may better help my love. I took my plate and piled it high with eggs and kippers and tomatoes and toast and sat to begin my meal.

Predictably, Jarren was the first to arrive of our group and he fixed his plate and joined me. "Good morning, my dear Kagome. How does the morning find you?"

"I am frustrated for my father yet sleeps as I have business to which I would see posthaste."

"Of what business do you speak?"

"I must away. I have had a dream of Thornfield and I am certain Lord Rochester needs me."

"Easy now. A dream you say? It sounds more akin to a nightmare. Do tell me of this dream and it will lose its power over you."

"There was a great fire at Thornfield Hall. My love's father was killed and my love gravely injured. Father said faerie can often see the future and this surely is a prophetic dream. Do you see now why I must leave here immediately?"

"All I see, my friend, is that you are upset by a dream. Usually the ability to see the future is done through sorcery; it is rare, indeed, that someone should have a vision in slumber. I say it is more like as I said at first: that you had a nightmare. Please, wait for your father. He will see this thing for what is truly is."

"You can sit there and tell me that if you had had a dream about your late wife's departure you wouldn't have immediately rushed to her side to ensure all was well?"

"Kagome, remember you said he was but injured, not killed, and I maintain it is more likely this is a dream brought on by your unconscious wish to see him again. What would you do if you go all the way there and he is well? You snuck away like a thief in the night by design for you did not want him to come after you and find you. Now you would go right back into the situation from which you fled all because of a silly nightmare? No, I urge you to think a moment and not be led by your emotions as you are so wont to do. Wait for your father to awake and your friends to arrive and you shall hear my opinion seconded and carried."

And so it was. Lady Whitley sided with Jarren when she arrived. My father came down and kissed my forehead; I explained my dream to him and he seemed unsettled but brushed off the idea that it had anything to do with reality, instead agreeing with Jarren. When Mr. Michael Eaton came, he alone stood with me that this dream meant I should at the least write to find out if all was well there.

"Alright, I concede: write to him and ascertain the situation," said Jarren.

"Only remember, my child, the reasons you left. If you should write to him, he may decide to come to London. What would you do then?" my father said quickly. He seemed greatly disturbed by the idea, to which I attributed his fatherly concern for my well-being.

"I shall not write him, then. No, indeed, that can only lead to trouble. I shall write Mrs. Fairfax and ask for her discretion when I inquire how everyone is. Excuse me, everyone, I mean to write this instant and send it to post directly I am done." With that, I left my company and ran up to my father's study, where I took paper and quill and set about my letter. Once I was done, I rang for the footman and bid him go straight to the post office.

…

Every day upon rising I went straight for the post, but no answer came. I waited a sennight, then a fortnight and there came none. Either Mrs. Fairfax snubbed my letter, which I could hardly countenance for she had within a good heart and a sweet disposition besides despite what she had appeared that day she heard the news of Lord Rochester and I, for truly she had known more than I and that had colored her warnings, or it was as I feared and there was no one at Thornfield to answer.

When I came to my father with my decision, he tried again, rather passionately, to dissuade me, but I was resolute. I could feel in my soul that something was wrong with my love and nightly did I dream of him. The dream was now of my love lost in a dark wood, crying out to me. I call and run but can never find him. Just as I think I am close, that he is around the next bend, I awake in my lonely bed, my arm reaching out in search.

Of my friends, again, the only support I found was in Michael. He offered to take me in his clarence the whole of the way so I would be assured of safety in my travels and I gratefully accepted.

Jarren, of course, could not be silent on the matter. "It is highly improper for a man of his reputation to accompany you into the wilds of England. Forget highwaymen, what will this blackguard do?"

"Really, Jarren, this animosity of yours wears thin. While I will miss you, a week or so without its oppressiveness will be well met, indeed. Besides, I have utmost faith in our Michael; he will see me there safely."

"Agreed. It is well that you like your friend, young man, but you must allow that she may have other friends as well and stop this spiteful jealousy or I daresay you will lose her entirely," warned Lady Whitley.

"Well, if you would like, pet, we can depart at sunrise tomorrow. We can easily sleep away the bulk of the trip that way and by the time we awake it will be time to eat and rest the horses. What say you?"

"Absolutely, yes! I will pack tonight as, thankfully, I have no plans to break and I will arrange for my maid to awaken me early. Though worry has necessitated this journey, I find myself excited at the prospect still."

"And you will not be persuaded, child? Surely, I say, you will not like what you find there," my father said.

"This is something I must do, father. You say it is no prophetic dream, well then, I surely feel his soul crying out for mine and I must find him and soothe him, no matter what I find."

I quit my company early to pack, though my father urged me to let my maid do it. Seeing that she could accomplish it better, I did at last leave it in her capable hands. Soon it was time to find sleep, but all I found were my thoughts as my mind raced. I prayed nearly the whole of the darkness that I would find my love well and before I knew it, my maid entered and bid me rise for my journey.

…..

My luggage was being loaded onto Michael's carriage as we waited in the music room. My father entered then and went into the storage room, bringing out the silver concert flute in its wooden case.

"Here, child. Take this with you on your journey. It is yours as surely as do your eyes and hair belong to you." He pulled me aside then and spoke haltingly, "There are things I have done in this life…for which I do not take pride. I would have you know this before you go."

"Father, that is the case of all men on this earth. We have all sinned in some way."

"I would have you know—,"

He was interrupted by the footman, "If you please, sir, miss, we are finished loading up the clarence."

"We have a long journey, pet. Best we leave London before the city awakens and the traffic is too great," Michael said.

I turned to my father but he said, "Go, then and take this as well." He handed me a stack of fifty pound notes which I folded into my reticule. "Remember at all times that your father loves you, no matter what you find. Promise me you will remember."

I smiled then and kissed him on his cheek. "I promise, Father. You have my love as well. Either we return directly or I shall write to you to let you know what has happened."

"Good bye, child, and well remember your promise."

Michael took my hand and escorted me out to his carriage where we settled in for the long ride.

…..


	21. Going Home

Chapter 21

On the second day of travel, we broke for breakfast at a roadway inn, choosing to take our meal outside and sit for a picnic in the grass. I was filling our mugs with water when Michael spoke.

"He loves you, you know."

"Who?" I asked, though I suspected I knew.

"You know well who I mean: Jarren. It's why he's an imbecile to any other male who gets near you. It's why he didn't want you to go."

I sighed. "I thought as much, but I can never love him the way he deserves. He should know better than to suppose anything might ever progress with us: he was married to his perfect match."

"Mayhap, but he likes to think you're in a similar situation, that your love is as dead and gone as his: then he can fool himself."

"Would you say…I mean…I hope that I haven't…?"

"No, pet; you do not encourage him. If you had, I might have said something to you for I know it's the last thing you would wish, to urge someone where there is no hope. I have to play my part as friend now and ask: what if the worst happens and you arrive to Thornfield and find your love dead, or perhaps worse yet, in the arms of another?"

"Michael! Do not say such things! I know in my heart they cannot be true. You think I do not know of men and their appetites, but I have been warned about them for all of my life so I think I know well of what I speak when I say that no matter the urging of Lord Rochester's body, his mind, heart, and soul would never betray me that way. I know it. And still also do I know he yet lives. I feel him, feel the string that connects us as I come closer to him. I do not know if he is well, but I know he is alive and that he longs for me as I do him."

"I am sorry to have had to say those things, pet. You know I am with you in your belief in him: if you say you can feel him, that he calls to you, I accept that completely. I only wished to make sure you had thought of all possibilities."

"I understand your meaning, but it was unnecessary. You do not know him except what I have told you and unfortunately, you also know him by his actions that made me run from his side. I tell you, though, that he is an honorable man, a deeply emotional man, who could never fathom of doing anything to keep us apart and that is precisely how he would see dallying with another."

"He has your love and I know you would only bestow such on a worthy man. You are right, of course. I believe your account of him to be true. All that remains to be seen is if he is well."

We continued our journey then and made our way to Millcote by that afternoon. Michael insisted we inquire at the inn first to see if there was anything amiss at Thornfield. We took dinner in a little room and the owner himself served us. We asked him to stay and answer our questions.

"We are friends of Lord Rochester here to visit Thornfield. Have you any news of the place?" Michael asked the man.

"News of Thornfield? Then you've not heard? You must not come from near here or surely—,"

"What should we have heard?" I interrupted.

"Why, Miss, there was a great tragedy! Folk say it was God's own wrath what struck down the Lord Rochester for tryin' to wed that poor girl unlawfully. You're not from here, clear that is, so perhaps you didn't know that he fell in love with his young governess. Jus' a slip of a girl she was and plain besides, but all who knew her talk of how kind was her heart."

"But how is it that you say he was struck down? He cannot be dead!" I said to the man.

"No, indeed, he's not, though perhaps it would have been better if he had. As I was sayin', the girl ran off when it was revealed that his father yet lived, and was mad besides, living all that time kept up in the house. Well off'n she went and the very next night was there a great fire there at Thornfield. Everyone got out and the engines were called and then Lord Rochester saw his father up on the roof ravin' and hollerin'. He rushed back in to save him, but he would not come and they fought up there instead. His father near tossed his son over the side, but then changed his mind and rushed to the battlements and threw himself over instead. Lord Rochester tried to come down then, and got all the way to the great hall stair before the steps fell out from under him and he was engulfed."

I exchanged a haunted look with Michael before the man continued, "He was badly burned and had a ghastly head injury besides. His eyes were burned in their sockets and he lost his left arm so he's but a cripple. Las' I heard he was still in that bedeviled sleep from that knock to the head and all he does all day is call for that governess what left him."

I let out an involuntary whimper and my friend took my hand in his. He thanked the man for the information and inquired where we might find Lord Rochester now. I did not comprehend his answer, so lost was I in my own thoughts.

When the man had left us alone I found Michael's eyes. "It's true! It's all true! Exactly as I saw it in my dream, Michael! But why the delay in my dream? This man speaks of months past while I have only dreamt of my love for the past few weeks."

"We will have it discovered. We know where to find him and though it is a hard ride yet, I say we shall make it there today for I know you could not bear any delay. Let us have them pack the meal and we will away at once, alright, pet?"

I sighed in relief. "Thank you, my friend. I don't know what I would do were you not here with me right now. I might have fainted straight away during that tale were it not for your stalwart presence at my side."

Michael took care of everything and sent me to sit in the carriage. Thankfully, we had not pressed the horses overmuch on our trip so far and we set off for Lord Rochester's manor house cum hunting lodge, Ferndean, which, it must be understood, was much removed from civilization and in the middle of a dense wood. Much of the road there was extremely unfit for carriages, much less at the speed at which we travelled, and many times I thought we might overturn in our haste, but helpless as I was to my need to see my love, I could not speak up to slow our progress.

He intended to drop me off, but I would have none of it and dragged him with me to the servant's door at the side where the kitchen must be. I took a deep breath and knocked. At length, Mrs. Fairfax came to the door and seeing me there went full pale.

"Can it really be you, Miss Higurashi?"

"It is me, Mrs. Fairfax. How do you do?"

"Where are my manners? Come in, come in, you and your company. I will pour you some tea and you will sit with me as you used to if you can forgive an old lady who once could not share your happiness?" She opened the door and let us in, closing it behind us. I saw there in the kitchen were also John and his wife, Mary, the cook. They both came to greet me and there was a great clasping of hands.

"How good to see you, Miss Higurashi!"

"How fine you look: like a proper lady!"

"I suspect you've come to see the master but he refuses all who come."

"Who is your companion here, then?"

"Excuse me, this here is my friend, Mr. Eaton, come with me from London to provide for my safety on my journey. Mr. Eaton, these are Mrs. Fairfax, John, and Mary, with whom I used to work at Thornfield," I said.

"You're not married, then, Miss?" Mary asked.

"No, I am not. Tell me, please, for I have heard such dreadful news from the innkeeper at Millcote: how fares Lord Rochester?"

Mrs. Fairfax explained about the fire again and I listened quietly. She told me of his head injury and that day and night he had called for me and I railed at myself for leaving him when he needed me here. Into my self-recriminations stole the phrase, "And then a little over two weeks past, Lord Rochester awoke."

"He awoke? He is well, then?" I asked.

"He remains blind and without his left arm, but he is awake and able to get around with help. He has a fierce temper such as I have never seen in him before and I can only attribute it to his feeling less a man in his crippled state. And then there is also the loss of your company, which he feels freshly for to him it has been but weeks instead of months. He misses you sorely, Miss Higurashi. Tell me, have you come to stay?"

The bell for the parlor rang.

"I should think that should depend greatly on Lord Rochester. I'd like to see him now. Will you go to him and tell him a visitor has come?"

Mrs. Fairfax left then only to return a moment later. "I did not tell him who called and he bid me collect their card and ask them to leave—only I beg you do not leave. We will put you both in rooms for the night. Perhaps you may see him in the morning when he may be in a pleasanter mood?"

"For what did he ring?"

"For a candle and water."

"He can see the light?"

"He says he can distinguish light from darkness, but that is all."

"Let me take them to him."

"Are you sure, Miss Higurashi? I shouldn't wish for you to see his temper."

"I have no fear of him. Here, let me have that tray you have made and, if you please, could you hold the door for me?" I gave a glance to Michael and he smiled and nodded to me in encouragement.

I took the tray and left to find the parlor. The whole of the house was dark so merely did I follow the bare light coming from a room at the end of the hall. There sat my love in a chair staring into the fire, Pilot at his feet on the rug. I watched his face change and saw him take large breaths through his nose. His scarred, dull eyes searched for what they could not see.

"Who is there? I beg you: speak, so I may clear my senses of this specter which does infect them." As he spoke, I walked forward and Pilot jumped to his feet to greet me.

I placed the tray on the table beside him and watched still his great effort of sniffing the air. My father had not been wrong: he was a dog demon for he sniffed at me and followed my movement by scent and hearing alone. "Pilot knows me," I said as I scratched the great, white dog's ears.

"No…," he breathed.

"No? Perhaps you do not wish me here. Shall I go then?"

"No!" he bellowed. "Can it be you or do I yet dream once more? How often have I wished for you, imagined you, thought you here and yet when I reach for you, you diffuse like smoke on the wind."

I knelt before his chair and said, softly, "Then reach for me now and tell me what you find." I placed a hand on his knee so he would know precisely where I was.

His hand found mine, his head shook from side to side in denial, his hand found my arm, my shoulder, my face. My hand reached up to touch his on my cheek and I watched as moisture gathered in his damaged eyes.

"Kagome, my love, have you truly come back to me?"

"Yes, sir. I come to be whatever you need me to be: your friend, your eyes, your hand, whatever you wish."

"Whatever I wish…," he whispered. He looked sad for a moment and swallowed before saying, "You will keep me company tonight, spirit, you will laugh and talk and sing with me, you will kiss me sweetly and tell me you will stay but when morning comes, you will be gone. So it has ever been since my love left me."

I turned my head and placed a kiss in the palm of his hand. "Would a spirit feel like this, sir?"

"I am unsure. I think only that my father's madness might yet be visited unto me. And for what reason would my love stay? I am blighted and mangled and so much less than a man."

A peculiar madness struck me then for I recalled again he was a dog demon and I had the oddest desire to resort to extreme measures to garner his attention. I took his hand again and this time licked his palm. His sightless eyes were wide in their scarred sockets and he drew himself up and his hand to his face. He sniffed there where my tongue had been and turned his face to me.

"There, now. Have the incorporeal saliva, sir?"

He pushed himself out of his chair to kneel beside me and took me in his arm. His hand moved all over me and his face found the crook of my neck where he inhaled deeply. His hand came to my face then and he kissed my cheeks and forehead and nose and chin before finding my lips and capturing them. My arms wound around his neck and his arm held me tight against him as we came together in a kiss borne of months of separation.

His lips feasted on my own with a fervency the likes of which I had never imagined. Each press of lips, each hint of tongues meeting, rekindled the flame in my soul for this man than had long been banked coals in his absence. My heart sung a song of bliss at the rightness of being here with him and I exulted in his touch on my heated body.

All too soon he broke the kiss, placing small kisses on my jaw and nuzzling my cheek. Still I clung to him before my mouth sought out his neck which I kissed and licked in my excitement. He moaned into my attentions but when I nipped him, I found his fist in my hair and his mouth again meeting mine in a new passionate kiss. This he broke suddenly, which caused me to whimper in frustration and he nuzzled me again in apology.

"Forgive me, my love, but much longer of this and you would be beneath me on this rug and that is not something I wish to do to you." He sat back then with his legs before him and reached for me. I situated myself at his side, curled up to him with my head on his shoulder. "Tell me what you have done with yourself in your absence. I have only been awake a few weeks but Mrs. Fairfax tells me it has been months since you left us."

"There is not much to tell; only that I found my father at the crossroads on Hay Lane just past Thornfield and I have stayed with him in London."

"Your father!" It was an exclamation, but it sounded almost as a curse.

"Yes, a man you have heard me speak of as Gancomer. He told me the truth of my heritage and of yours, for that matter."

"You know, then, what I am?"

"I know what you are but I do not know why you kept such information from me. Or why you kept my own heritage from me, for my father is sure you must have known as my name is the name of the ruling human family in your territory of Japan. And I think now of all the times you called me "fairy" that you knew of that as well for my father insists you must have known instantly."

"I wanted to tell you—I would have on our wedding night—but terrified I was of your leaving me if you knew the truth. There is no proper word in English for what I am anymore and I thought surely you would hear 'demon' and go running in your Christian mindset. And as for you, I thought only that you would want someone of your own kind over someone like me. I know it is but vain insecurity but I am ever weak in so many ways in my love for you. Can you forgive me?"

"I forgave you almost as soon as my father told me; my postulation of your motives has proven correct. I cannot be angry for then I would surely be a hypocrite for I am guilty of the same insecurities in my love for you. How many times did I tell myself I was unworthy or less than I truly am to dissuade me from this ardent affection I feel for you for I thought one such as you could never love me in return?"

"So you have lived a quiet life then, with your father?"

I laughed. "That is hardly the case. My father sought to distract me from my misery by keeping me daily engaged in London society. Every night there was some new ball or soiree or party. I even taught a young pupil for a time and I have made such progress on the flute as I astound myself and those who have heard me. I swear, I have had hardly a moment to myself."

"How did you find the _ton_?"

"Not at all to my liking. It is on a grander scale of those silly people you associated with while I was employed at Thornfield. I am happy to be free of the lot!"

"And how did the _ton_ find you?"

"Can you believe those insipid people clamor for me? We had so many calling cards and invitations on the hall table, Father could scarcely keep up with them."

"Did…men come to call?"

I giggled then at his jealousy and decided it would be good for him to have something other than self-pity to rile him before morning. I kissed him sweetly and announced I was going to bed. He reached for me as I got up and implored me to stay, but it was late and I'd had two days of rough journey and knew if I stayed here with him I would never see my bed.

I turned at the door and saw the forlorn look on his face as he still sat where I had left him on the floor and promised, "I will see you in the morning, Sesshoumaru."

….


	22. A Second Proposal

A/N: As Thornfield draws to a close, I find myself in a great struggle over how to end it. Should I retain the integrity of my writing exercise and end sweetly with a bare hint of consummation as in novels of that era or should I attempt the more difficult: writing a lemon scene in period language. I have written it one way, but will more than likely change it over the course of the next few days. What I seek from you, dear reader, is your input. What do you feel this story is leading towards? What ending would you feel does my story greater justice (and, thus, determines the new rating I may have to give it?) Please do let me know your thoughts as I am eager for them.

On with the show…

….

Chapter 22

I awoke midmorning and smiled feeling supreme contentment for wherever my love should be is where I shall call home. As I dressed, I heard Michael on the stairs and then meeting Lord Rochester. I admit I had almost completely forgotten my friend and now I stilled to hear the conversation between the two men:

"Good morning! You must be Lord Rochester! Kagome talks of nothing else! It is an honor to finally meet you."

"And who is this, then?" Lord Rochester said gruffly.

"My! Forgive me! In my excitement I forgot introductions. I am Mr. Michael Eaton. Please, call me Michael as Kagome does."

"My apologies, she did not mention she came with a man— or a man she addresses so informally: you must be very important to her."

"She's my dearest friend, which I admit is a strange concept to my usual thinking, but you'll admit she has a way of growing on a person. I came with her in my carriage to ensure she met you safely."

"That is…thoughtful of you."

By this time, I had arrived in the parlor and greeted my friend and love.

"Michael, have you a pocket comb on your person I may take with me for a short while?"

"Why, of course, pet. Here."

"Lord Rochester, it is a beautiful day outside full of sun and birdsong. Will you take a turn about the yard with me?" I could tell he was brooding for he stood without answering with his brow crinkled and his lips sullen. I walked over to him and wrapped his arm about my shoulders so I could act as both prop and cane to him and led him out the French doors at the back of the room. Michael winked at me as I left and I smiled in response.

As we walked, I acted as his eyes, describing the nature about us that I saw so that he may see as well. I challenged myself to give the best account as I could for him. We walked past the garden and then along the rock wall to where a bench circled a large oak tree. Upon reaching it, I led my love to sit whereupon I sat on his lap.

I took the comb from my pocket and started setting his hair to rights. "You will allow me to restore your dignity, sir. You start to look quite the beast with your hair so tousled and knotted."

"Your _friend_, Michael," he began, "he seems pleasant enough. Perhaps he is willowy and soft-limbed as a woman to find friendship in a young girl?"

"Quite the contrary: he is dark and ruggedly masculine with such eyes and lashes that seem to beckon the fairer sex wherever we go. Indeed, he has quite a reputation with them." His bangs in place, I began the long process of the lengths.

"And you chose to bring such a man with you to visit me?"

"But, of course! Michael is athletic and capable of defending me against any who would seek to do me harm and he is a dear friend who offered me his carriage and services out of loyalty to me."

"He seems very loyal," he muttered. Louder he said, "He is one of your callers, then?"

"We spend most every afternoon together with the rest of our little group, yes."

"A group consisting of other females, then?"

"No indeed, there is but one other: the Lady Whitley, who serves as my sponsor and chaperone for our activities in society."

"And the other males?"

"Are Father and Jarren, our friend."

"Another male who you speak of so informally?"

"Jarren is like father and me: of faerie. Faerie do not have last names, though they invent them to move about in human society and so Jarren is simply Jarren. When Michael was added, it seemed silly to call him Mr. Eaton when Jarren was so informally addressed so he is likewise simply Michael."

"Tell me of this Jarren."

"He is a widower, with a young daughter whom I taught briefly until he found another situation for her. He was my father's friend at first and now also mine."

"Is he also dark and swarthy as your Michael?"

"No, indeed. Jarren is fair, with a Grecian profile, hair of spun gold and eyes as blue as the azure sky."

"Perhaps he has a penchant for cards or gambling?"

I laughed. "Again, no. He is almost too good. He has no vices to speak of."

"Surely the man has some fault to him!"

"Certainly, all men do: he is blind when it comes to me and possessive."

He was quiet a moment. "Has he reason to be possessive?" he asked softly.

I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips gently. "No," I stated unequivocally.

"What brought you back here to me, Kagome? You seem to have been well settled in London—indeed, you could have any life you choose with your father's connections."

"You."

"So it is as you said: you want to be my friend and my nurse."

"I want to spend my life at your side, however you will have me."

"I do not want a friend, Kagome; I want a wife."

"Then you should have one."

"Choose for me then; find for me the perfect wife who will not look upon my deformity and shudder at my touch."

"I shall choose then: her who loves you best," I murmured into his ear.

"Nonsense, then I should choose her who I love best. What say you, Kagome? Can you be that wife?" came his hushed reply.

"I have long waited for you to ask again, sir—yes! I am as I have ever been: yours." I kissed his cheek; this was not good enough for him for he found my lips and seized them and I moaned my delight into his mouth.

Suddenly he broke the kiss with a foul oath. "Sesshoumaru?" I asked, confused.

"We must ask your father's permission," he grumbled.

"How can that be a problem? My father only wishes for my happiness; he will grant it. Come, we will call him!"

"Kagome, you do not understand. Your father…he…he will not approve."

"Why do you say this?"

"I say it because he bears a grievance against me. He is the reason I am thus crippled."

"I do not understand...what are you saying?"

He sighed. "Your father is the one who set the fire at Thornfield."

I was struck with such pain then and my only recourse was denial. My hands fisted in his shirtfront and I said, "Surely you are mistaken. What makes you say this?"

"I say so because he appeared in my bedchamber the night after you left me. I knew him instantly by his eyes for they are the very same as your own, though his looked at me with such white-hot hatred. His hair swirled in his magical aura as he railed at me for seeking to compromise you for my own selfishness. He became a man of living flame and then the fire spread from his body to the furnishings. I tried to douse it and stomp it out, but still it burned for it was flame of sorcery. I ran to the rooms and roused everyone from sleep to get them all out for I knew your father sought to level my home with fire."

I hugged my love tightly to me and stroked his hair which by now laid in perfect straightness down his back while I cried. I cried for him and his loss, I cried for my father, who had done such a terrible thing, and I cried that my own blood could have killed my only love that night. In my restlessness, I moved so I straddled him on my knees, petting his poor, scarred head and cried violent tears that fell then over his eyes and face. Sesshoumaru gathered me up and settled me in his left shoulder and my tears soon saturated his shirt which was pinned there. He cooed soothing things to me and kissed my hair and rubbed my back until my tears dried.

"He did this because of me," I whispered. "He thought he was avenging me somehow, but he will make it right. I will ensure he makes it right." I stood then and stepped in front of my love. "Tonight. Tonight we will come here and call him and he will restore what he has wrought or I shall disown him."

…


	23. Attonement

A/N: As Thornfield draws to a close, I begin labor on my next work. I wonder if anyone knows of any good historical resources. I have always found period writing to be richer when details of daily life are included such as how people bathed and took care of themselves, what people ate and, indeed, how they prepared it, how people dressed and in what fabrics. I'm starting to think I need to go to a college library but if anyone knows any online or free resources, that would be ideal.

I believe my next will be canon, after Naraku's death when Kagome returns-ish, but I'm still vacillating. I know only that it will deal with poetry, of which I am woefully inadequate as evidenced by my work in ROTSM but require courting gifts that haven't been done by everyone else. In my stories so far, I've tried to break from the stereotypes and clichés of our genre to tell stories that haven't been told, or at the least in a different way. I am uncertain if I've accomplished this goal or if I will in future, but that is what I hope for.

I want to say how much your ongoing support means to me. Thank you all.

On with the show…

…

Chapter 23

We stayed up in the parlor long after everyone had gone to sleep: he in his chair, me in his lap. I could tell Sesshoumaru was nervous. His instincts as a man and a demon bid him destroy the threat, but as the threat was his intended's father, he was at a loss. It mattered not at all for I fully intended to face this fiery dragon myself.

As we sat there in each other's arms, my mind wandered to my father's behavior after I told him of the dream. He had been quite animated in his need to deter me from returning to my love. Was it merely guilt of his actions—for, at last, before I left with Michael, he seemed to try for contrition though I knew not for what at that time, or was it also fear that when I discovered the truth of what he had done that I would cast aside my only family?

I wanted to hate him for what he had taken from my dear Sesshoumaru, but I could not. Though I had known him but a short time, I loved my father; though I wished to carry some animosity, I forgave instead. Still, while my father is family by nature, my love is family by choice and I would not rest this night until my father had made reparations.

It was a clear night as we stole out the door into the dewy grass and the moon and stars above us lit the path for me to lead. When we came to the ancient oak Sesshoumaru sat on the bench and I called, "Father, Gancomer, I summon you!"

Out of the wood ahead of us walked my father, head lowered and arms crossed in front of him. "I knew it wouldn't be long ere I heard from you, lass." I was quiet. "I see you found your lover, then." I said nothing. "Suppose he told you about the fire, then, has he?" he asked hesitantly.

I was quiet still for a long moment and then I asked in a hushed voice, "How could you?"

"Ah, lass, I wouldn't expect you to understand, only being half-blood, but we faerie are a passionate, vengeful lot—," He held his hands in front of him. "Not that I believe that excuses me: I know I did wrong and I knew as soon as it was done that you might never forgive it, but by then it was over and I couldn't undo it. It just cut so deep seeing you so hurt and despondent. You slept and slept and wouldn't have eaten or gotten out of bed if I hadn't used every wile to persuade you. I wanted to kill him for first playing such games with your heart then trying to trap you in that illegal marriage. And scared I was that you would choose to stay with him and let him defile you, my beautiful, perfect daughter, but when you made the right decision to leave him I knew he needed to be punished."

"You may be a creature of myth and legend but you are no god, Father. It is not for you to decide who needs punishment."

"But he hurt you!"

"So you burn his home and all his possessions? So you kill his father and nearly kill him? So you take his arm and his vision and leave him in a coma from which he might never have awoken?"

"Kill? His arm and…? Lass, when I left, everyone was out of the house. I purposely manipulated the fire so as not to let it get out of control until all were outside. How can this be?"

I stepped aside and revealed Sesshoumaru sitting with his regal bearing on the bench surrounding the tree. My father sucked in a breath and asked, "Lord Sesshoumaru, I do not understand. How came you to be injured?"

"Perhaps you neglected to notice my father had escaped to the roof in your haste to depart? When I saw him there, I reentered the inferno to attempt a rescue."

"No…I did not even consider it a possibility that someone would have gone to the roof… My God. Truly, though I greatly wanted to do you harm, in my railing thoughts of my daughter, I knew I would lose her forever if I caused your death. Please, Kagome, Lord Sesshoumaru, you must believe me!"

"I believe you," said I. "However, as I see it, if magic caused his injuries, magic can restore him. You will heal him."

"But, lass, there's no need."

"How can you possibly say that!"

"Easy, child. I only mean that you have done it already. He heals as we speak and he will surely be right as rain in a day or two."

"_I _have done? Of what do you speak?"

"I can see clear as day the tracks of your tears on his skin. You wept over him, did you not?"

"And what of it?" asked Sesshoumaru.

"Tears of grief cried by female faerie possess great healing ability and can undo almost any magic. You were not able to heal yourself despite your enhanced demon capability because the wounds were of magical origin. Kagome has dispersed the spell and she aids your own healing now. See how your pinned sleeve is now tight? Your limb regrows even now."

"Did you hear that, my love? I have healed you!" I exclaimed.

"You already have by returning to me, where you belong." He pulled me into his lap and kissed me sweetly.

I turned then to my father and demanded, "There is more yet that I would have from you, Father, to prove your penitence."

"Of course. Since his father as impediment is gone, I give you my blessing for your union."

"I thank you for it, Father, but was it a given element: I knew you would not deny me even before I knew of your guilt. No, I would have something much more substantial than spoken words from you. You took his home and his birthright from him; you will return it. Block by block, every wooden panel, every padded chair will be restored."

"Lass, I cannot just recreate his home overnight with magic; the humans would never understand and would more like kill you both for witchcraft."

"That is not at all what I intended. You shall have it rebuilt and restocked just as it was."

"With the exception of the room in which my father stayed: you will omit this room in the new plan," said Sesshoumaru.

"And the addition of indoor plumbing," I said.

My father sighed heavily. "You are right, of course; I have done wrong and I must repent. I will make the arrangements first thing come morning. This will be a long project, lass. When it is finished might I then have hope of your forgiveness?"

"You are my family, the blood that flows in my veins is yours; you have ever had my forgiveness, Father. My forgiveness, however, is not whose you should choose to seek if you wish one day to hold your grandchildren."

At my words, my father's skin went a sickly white in the moonlight. "Lord Sesshoumaru, I…"

Sesshoumaru stood then and reached for me. He put his arm around my shoulders and spoke, "I will seek a special license from the bishop and we will marry in a week's time. You may attend if you like and bear witness." He turned to me and murmured, "Come, Kagome. The hour is late and it grows cold."

I turned with him and led him back to the house, never once looking back at my father. When we made it inside, I left Sesshoumaru by his chair and threw another log on the embers of the fire, which caught almost immediately, then returned to my love and put my arms around him.

He lowered his head to find my lips and kissed me deeply before holding me and burying his face in my hair. He whispered to me, "I am infinitely proud of you tonight, my love. You were as brave and fierce as an inu youkai in defending what is yours. You truly are made to be my mate."

"Part of me regrets being hard on him, but another part wishes I had not been able to forgive him. I lie in emotional turmoil, buffeting about as a ship on a stormy sea; all I know is that I love you and that I am grateful you live and shall soon be well."

"I already see color where I saw only light and dark before. Pray, stay here with me: I want your face to be the first thing I see clearly."

"Sesshoumaru, he said it may take a day or so. Surely you do not mean to stay awake all that time?"

"Come with me to bed, then. I promise I will only hold you and we will spend not a single moment apart until I may look in your magical eyes."

"So you will be rid of me as soon as you may see me?" I teased.

"Never say so! I will shackle you to me in truth: I will find iron fetters and line them with cotton filling and fine satin so as they do not chafe your fragile skin. I shall have the key destroyed and then you shall never be free of me."

I giggled. "Only take care to make the chain long enough that we may sing and play as we used to: I should not like you to be too encumbered. Also, I have remembered you have yet to hear me on my new instrument! I daresay even you will be impressed, my demon of music."

"Tomorrow, then! You shall play your flute and I shall accompany. But oh! I must away to the bishop come morning; it shall have to be put off. For now, however, I only wish to hold your lovely body tight to me and find rest. Mayhap in the morning you will find two arms about you instead of one!"

I took his hand and brought him up to his room. I turned my back on him as he readied for bed and got under the covers and then blew out the candle. I undressed slowly down to my chemise with my back to him though I knew well he could not see me yet. I took down my hair and smoothed out the plaits. I slipped under the covers with him and he pulled me against him as he lay on his side, his face in my hair. I was highly nervous for I felt at once that he had entered the bed without a shirt, but, perhaps sensing my anxiety, he began to make the most soothing rumbling sound in his chest and throat that was oddly akin to purring yet also not unlike a growl. He breathed deeply of my scent and kissed my shoulder while continuing this gentle noise and before I knew it, I was deeply asleep.

….


	24. My Mate For All Time

Chapter 24

I awoke slowly to the scent of my love: of woods and spice and the sensation of being held. There was an arm round me and a hand held mine from its place on the warm pillow on which I rested; I opened my eyes and saw it was no pillow, but the naked upper body of Sesshoumaru. His chest rose and fell with measured regularity so I supposed he was yet asleep. This was only the second male chest I had seen, though my first had been that of a bloody Hikaru and for which I had experienced much different feelings. I took this opportunity to appease my curiosity: silvery white hair graced what I could see of his chest that was not covered; he was hard with corded muscle and so very warm. He appeared as finely built of shoulder and collar and upper chest as the works of the great masters had shown as the ideal of man: a silver Adonis.

My thumb, which was free, stroked his fur and found it as silky as that which grew from his head. I felt the greatest urge to touch and rub myself against him; he was so large and hard and strong where I was small and soft and the draw I felt at this contrast was overwhelming. I started with my head and rubbed my cheek against his shoulder; my leg found his and I bent my knee and ran my leg up his.

"Easy, love," Sesshoumaru whispered. "You would not think to accost a sleeping man, would you?"

I jumped as if burned and pulled my limbs back to myself, though Sesshoumaru kept a firm grip on my hand, and buried my heated face in his shoulder.

"Come, now, Kagome; I was but teasing you. Much as I would love to have let you continue, feeling you so close to me in mine own bed with your sweet body touching me was too much for me to bear knowing I could not take you as my body now demands." He kissed my hair. "Soon, my love. But six days hence we will be wed and may explore each other at our leisure. Until then, I must dwell in exquisite torment of knowing you desire me as greatly as I desire you." He squeezed me tightly. "Now look up at me so you may be the first thing I see this morning."

I did as I was bid and lifted my head. He turned his toward me and opened his eyes, eyes that were now their former glorious golden color framed in his beautiful face where not a single imperfection could be seen. "Can you see me?" I asked.

He smiled broadly. "Yes. I see you as clearly as ever I have." His hand found my face and he urged me up to meet his lips. "Now that the goal for our sleeping thus has been met, best we dress for the day for we will be missed ere long and as we are now we only serve as terrible temptation to each other."

I smiled, still blushing, and he turned away so I might rise and dress. I left my hair loose for I had not my brush with me to tame it and grabbed my pins from his washstand before heading for the door.

In the hall, I met Michael, who smiled knowingly at me and cuffed me on the chin when I tried to hide my face. "It is not what you imagine!" I said in hushed tones.

"I do not imagine that color on your cheeks or that happiness in your step. Something momentous has occurred, pet."

"Oh, Michael, for sure it has!" I grabbed his arms in my excitement. "First, my love has asked me to marry him and, of course, I have agreed, but also, and perhaps more important, he is healed! It is a miracle!"

"Magic, more like. Since you told me of your origins, I admit I was stunned, but surely you have performed some spell to put him to rights again."

"And so I have, however unintentionally. I would tell you all, but I cannot long stand out here with my hair down and in yesterday's dress. Let me see to myself and I shall see you presently over breakfast." I broke from him then and stepped into my room to get ready for the day.

…..

Sesshoumaru rode immediately after breakfast for the bishop and sent John, at my behest, to collect Inuyasha from school. Michael stayed to keep me company in Sesshoumaru's absence and helped me make the manor house more hospitable; indeed, by the time my males arrived home, it was much more alike to a home and much less a damp, unaired hunting lodge. Inuyasha was beside himself with glee to see me home and finally to become one of his family.

Friday night, my friends arrived from London to witness our little ceremony and help us celebrate afterward. Father brought trunks and trunks of my new clothing and of gifts for us as well as the new plans for the rebuilding of Thornfield which we pored over at supper. Though I could see pain in Jarren's eyes and Sesshoumaru rather insistently refused to allow us time alone to talk, I could tell my friend was genuinely happy for my good fortune.

Father had thought to book us passage to Japan for our honeymoon so that I might finally see the land of my mother and my love to which Sesshoumaru was very grateful. There was a great energy of packing to prepare us for the journey as we would leave first thing Sunday morning.

Saturday, the day of our nuptials, arrived: the air was warm and the sky clear. Lady Whitley arrived in my room with my maid and the two of them fussed and flitted about like two little girls with a doll. Under their ministrations, I was made quite beautiful, I say with no vanity, in my dress I had worn previous, and when they had completed their task, Lady Whitley herself fastened the string of pearls my love had bestowed on me. My veil was a crown of orange blossoms which my father had provided; a faerie blessing, he said.

I hurried down the stairs to meet, in a style of déjà vu, my intended, pacing at the foot. His face lit into wonder as he watched my descent but this time he restrained himself from running with me to the carriage. It was a long drive to the church, made longer since we were kept separated on the journey, but I was in the company of my London friends so I was well entertained, even in my distraction.

His coach arrived first and he ran from it to the door of mine to throw it open and lift me down. We ran as children to the altar, and impatiently awaited our guests. Father joined me and stood at my side to provide his blessing. It was a very brief ceremony followed then by a kiss that made my skin tingle with awareness and my knees weaken so that I held tight to my love in desperation that I might not fall and break the kiss. Michael laughed at Sesshoumaru's enthusiasm and Lady Whitley pretended scandalization, her cries I could just barely hear through the haze of pleasure and happiness.

Sesshoumaru picked me up then and carried me as I laughed joyously to his waiting carriage whereupon our insightful driver took a slow route home. My hair was quite undone by the time we arrived from my love's ardent attentions while his own had nary a hair out of place in his usual frustrating way, so I elected to take it down and wore it in a simple braid down my back.

Of the celebrations afterward, I remember little, other than there was great merriment and felicity. In truth, all my thoughts were on my love and I was surely an ingracious hostess for I paid attention to our guests but little through the fog of my desire which ever sought the hand of my husband in mine own and ever looked to the sky to ascertain how much time remained before we might be joined in body as well.

At long last, the sun made to meet the earth and we wasted not a moment bidding our guests good night. My Sesshoumaru carried me up the stairs and to the end of the hall where lay his room, kicking the door shut behind him. He set me down and immediately I was beset by a nervous attack. I occurred to me that I had very little idea what was about to happen and only this all-consuming desire to be near and touch.

Sesshoumaru sensed my nervousness for he led me to sit on the bed with him and merely held me. "There, now. It is just me here with you. There is nothing to fear with me, is there?"

"It's just…for all the talk of wicked appetites and the carnal nature of man in school, I never did learn exactly what those entailed…and I was sure Lady Whitley meant this afternoon to warn me of some great pain you would do me, and Father of some matter about biting but I confess I little cared at the time." I rued my oversight.

"Why women seek to frighten each other generation upon generation, I will never understand," he grumbled. To me, he said, gently, "Kagome, my love, you will learn and I will be your teacher. There will be some small pain, but only the first time and once it is done, it is over and forever after will there be only pleasure."

"But it will hurt?"

He stroked my hair. "Kagome, do you trust me?"

There was only one answer. "Yes."

"Then kiss me."

So I did.

…

As I sit here writing this, reader, we have been married 10 years. Counted in my family are Inuyasha, who Sesshoumaru finally acknowledged as brother and who came to live with us at the manor house and then the new Thornfield before going off to Oxford to study, my father, who visits frequently and always brings something to spoil his two grandchildren, my Kenjin, our first-born and son, conceived in the land of his ancestors and my Lily, our daughter, who is yet a babe, but 2 months of age.

I cannot explain properly the bliss I feel each day spent in the constant company of my love. I know what it is to live for and with what I best love in the world. We are as one mind and one soul in two bodies and have never been subject to the lessening of feeling or occasional vexations I have seen evidenced elsewhere. I have seen him for his true face and his true form and he mine and though we are ever different physically and of our pasts, it only entreats our love more passionately. He is my one, my love, my mate for all time.

The End

…

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading this my second story. Hearing that you have enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing means the world to me and I thank especially those who have provided such feedback during this little exercise. I hope when I post my next story you will again join me on the journey.

~golden eyes hypnotize


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